Silly kids, Bets are for Addicts

Summary: Sasuke ducked the football that was thrown his way. "Oi, Sakura, heads!" He warned. "Tails then, honeymuffin," she announced, never looking up from her book. SasukexSakura AU Crack.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Yet.

This is what Spring should feel like, Sakura mused blissfully. She set her book on the luscious grass beside the football field and plopped down next to it.

The flowers were beautiful, the clouds looked particularly puffy, she was valedictorian, and her boyfriend was hot.

Scratch that. She had labeled Sasuke Assface

There was just one thing hanging on top of her head this semester after exams, and it was that she had lost all of her commission money in a bet. To Sasuke,of all people. Hell, he didn't even play poker, and coming from such a well-bred family, she thought that he would give it back, and at least before the Easter Weekend Sales Event at that.

Looking at him do his daily "Wide Receiver Drills" on the field made her twitch in annoyance.

"Yeah, Sasuke! How's all that extra money coming along for ya?" She yelled.

He missed a throw that Uzumaki Naruto passed to him, a particularly well polished spiral, as he turned to the side of the field, minutely alarmed. He raised an eyebrow at his girlfriend of two years, looking particularly hot in his shirtless glory.

"Hey sugar pie!" She said sweetly, patting her psychology book, "I was wondering what you were gonna do with all that bling-bling you stored into the bank last month." She trailed off at the sight of his uncomprehending face.

Jesus, don't tell me he doesn't remember, she sighed.

Sakura looked up at the cloudless sky and felt her pale skin soaking up the golden rays. There was always tomorrow, and the day after that to convince Sasuke that a joint bank account would be imminently beneficial to them both. She flipped her book open to the bookmark and silenced her phone, knowing that Ino would undoubtedly pester her about where was she on this afternoon that was just perfect for shopping?

Sasuke couldn't believe he was woken up by Naruto at seven thirty this morning, and that it was for an emergency football session. His coach really knew how to work people up, he thought cynically. Sasuke glanced over at his loudmouth girlfriend, briefly appeased by the fact that she was absorbed in something that was so unverbal. He closed his eyes like Sakura was doing right now and felt the sunlight soak into his hair—

"SASUKE! Duck your ass, shitface, what are you doing, standing there like a vegetable?!" His best friend screamed. Sasuke flipped his eyes open and instinctually (it was what people learned, apparently, when they hung around impetuous blond idiots excessively) stepped to the side. His eyes trailed the parabola of its invisible trail, and to his horror saw that it was headed straight for Sakura.

"Oi, Sakura, heads!" He called out.

Sakura scowled, appalled that Sasuke had the nerve to disrupt her reading time.

Upon a brief mull-over, what actually disturbed her more was that he disrupted her to call bets on a goddamn coin. However, it fleetingly crossed her mind that whatever it was he was betting to, it could mean the return of her riches, and she smirked wickedly.

"Tails then, honeymuffin," she announced, never looking up from her book.

The last thing she felt was her forehead brushing the dog-eared page of her book.

"Sasuke-bastard! You knocked your girlfriend out with a football!"

"Just forge me a pass to the nurse, you idiot."

Finished: 3/31/10 11:01 AM

Ugh. I should really just stick to angst.

So my friend and I were at the pool when this idea struck me. In a nutshell, I doubled over, giggling at the crackness playing inside my mind, and this really hot lifeguard looked at me funny. Ugh.

Can you not wait for chapter 489 or what?--And no, trying to kill off Tsunade was so funny, lyke omg NOT.

Anyway, love you guys and reviews,

(and pray for Sasuke's return! Or something XD)

OrangeChocolate