Misfitverse: Another Entry from Kid Razor's Blog
Disclaimer: Kid Razor is mine. All characters belong to their owners. And here's a quote: "Somebody's gotta put food on this table." - Peter Griffin, Family Guy.
This is set after Chapter 19 of NebulaBelt's "CIVILWAR: CHECKMATE Misfitverse"
Kid Razor's Blog
Kid Razor is Cleveland's local superhero and a member of Teen Titans Gold. He is the greatest superhero of all time. He's also a multi-platinum rock musician.
December 31, 2007
Hey there, loyal readers! Once again, you are reading Kid Razor's blog. Naturally, since this is Kid Razor's blog, it is the greatest blog in the universe. Every blog wants to be this blog. Women want this blog and men want to be this blog.
Anyway, yours truly had heard about a whole gathering of heroes up in the Watchtower. The Kid of Rock tried to get in on the action, but the Kid of Rock got a message from Bat-Jerk that yours truly wasn't invited. Evidently, the other heroes feared that they weren't worthy of being in my presence. They are right to think that.
However, my friend Sonic Blue came to the rescue. The guy is a genius. He has a friend who can hack into stuff pretty good.
Anyway, they obtained tape of the meeting for me, and it was hilarious! All those retards stated brawling right in the middle of the Watchtower, it was great! The fight was hilarious. Those idiots can't fight like the Kid of Rock. The Kid of Rock could fight all of them, and win. Although Huntress did look good doing that split kick on that Bishop nutball. In case you're wondering, Sonic Blue and Winger didn't get involved. They're friends of mine, so they have the brains to see that those heroes were all being idiots. As usual. None of them can be as smart as the Kid of Rock.
After things calmed down (thanks to Raven, believe it or not. The Kid of Rock wonders what she wears under that leotard of hers), the debate started. The Kid of Rock slept through most of it. Hearing other heroes talk bores the Kid of Rock. At least when I speak, I got out of my way to make sure that nobody gets bored with it.
Then Iron Man opened his mouth. To be honest, the Kid of Rock wasn't listening to most of it. He was busy doing something more important than listening to Iron Man: Watching Family Guy. That show is hilarious. Then he said something that made me snicker:
"We can not leave the future of the public in the hands of dangerous half-trained groups with a penchant for chaos and destruction that erodes public and governmental trust in heroes."
He looked at the X-Men and the Misfits when he said it. Heh heh, those guys are idiots. Well, not because they're what the Iron Man with the Iron Brain said. They're idiots because think about it, have they really made any progress in mutant/human relations? For a team that is all about improving the lot of mutants, they sure seem to do a better job making things worse for them. The Kid of Rock never really had a problem with mutants...except for that old woman with the vulture mutation. God, the Kid of Rock hates that old buzzard. She always gives the Kid of Rock the stinkeye whenever he patrols the Yeager District. Ah, you've read the Kid of Rock complain about that old buzzard a lot, so he's not going to reiterate.
As you know, the Yeager District to Cleveland is like Mutant Town to New York. Many of Cleveland's mutants live in the district. Unlike the rest of the nation, who all developed mutantphobia overnight (literally), us Clevelanders are more level-headed. We didn't all run around like chickens with our heads cut off screaming "They're coming to kill us all! They're coming to kill us all! Run for your lives!" We're not paranoid lunatics like New Yorkers.
Anyway, back on track. A lot of the mutants in Cleveland actually really don't like the X-Men much. They say the X-Men and the Misfits portray mutants as out-of-control lunatics. The Kid of Rock can't blame 'em. Most mutants in Cleveland don't want to be superheroes. They just live day-to-day like the rest of us, and that's the way they like it. They just want to be left alone, and Clevelanders are pretty cool about it. Besides, they support the Indians, so Yeager District natives aren't all bad.
Anyway, Iron Butthead started yapping about the need for Registration. Blah blah blah. Hey, none of the superheroes blew up Stamford, you iron-plated idiot. Sheesh. The only thing the Kid of Rock wants to be registered for is membership in the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame. Now they should get Foreigner in. Those guys are awesome. They got AC/DC, Van Halen, Led Zeppelin,The Who, the Stones, the Beatles, Queen, Aerosmith, all awesome bands, and the Kid of Rock's idols. Foreigner should be allowed to join 'em. Oh, and get Judas Priest and Def Leppard in there too. They earned it.
Iron Man thinks that superheroes would be better off registered with the government. Whatever. Do you really think yours truly would thrive in that environment? The Kid of Rock don't even like being told what to do by his own mother, do you really think he'd do what the government told him to do? I'd tell them what the Kid of Rock once told Iron Man: "You want Count Nefaria and Vandal Savage flanked from the left? Then do it your damn self!" Iron Man can kiss my razor blade tights-wearing butt.
Any time now.
Then Cap went up. Whoopee (rolls eyes). The Kid of Rock really can't stand that rambling old fool. He belongs in a nursing home. He acts he's so great. What has he done that's so great? Helped save the world? Yeah, in 1942. When we first met, the old relic actually had the audacity to call the Kid of Rock a rookie. A rookie. A ROOKIE! He also had the audacity to show the Kid of Rock no respect. The Kid of Rock is a multi-platinum rock musician. He has rocked stages all over the world. He has also fought the baddest supervillains the universe has to offer, and won! Who does that Star-Spangles Smeghead (Yeah, I like Red Dwarf, wanna fight about it?) think he is, talking down to me, his better, like that? It makes the Kid of Rock want to shove that shield of his down his eighty-year-old throat. Next time I see Cap, I will. You have the Kid of Rock's word on it.
Enough of my rant from me. Cap started talking about the JSA, whom nobody cared about. Then he ranted about the Eagle, that old hokey loser from the 1940s and 1950s. You know, the one that had the Commie friend and got blacklisted? Somebody oughta update Cap. Russia aren't Commies anymore, old man. They're all in Cuba and China now.
Much to the Kid of Rock's surprise, he found himself somewhat getting what the obsolete old relic was saying, in between his rants about the damn kids skateboarding on his lawn and how back in his day, women dressed respectfully. Newsflash, old man, women can vote and wear anything they damn well please nowadays. Anyway, he went on to say that Registration strips away heroes' personal freedoms, after he ranted about his love of creamed corn. I suddenly found myself agreeing with him...about the freedoms bit, not about creamed corn. Creamed corn sucks, but then again, Cap's old, so he would like it.
I must be getting soft. I still don't like the old shield-slinger, but I did find myself agreeing with him on Registration.
I still don't really care if they pass it or not. I'll continue to do what I want. Screw it.
Ah man, I gotta go. The kid of Rock has a busy life, being a superhero and rock legend and all. See you around! And keep on rockin'!
RIP Bo Diddley. You will be missed.
COMMENTS:
(Subj: You're not invited)
Razor, you weren't invited because you are an arrogant pain-in-the-neck.
- Huntress
--
(Subj: RE: You're not invited)
Hey there, Huntress! And you date a nutjob. I recently met this freakoid called Anarky. He reminded the Kid of Rock a lot of your faceless boyfriend. He kept ranting and raving about conspiracies and bankers and polluters, and the Kid of Rock was forced to bash him upside the head with his guitar. I wonder if he got out of the hospital yet.
- Kid Razor
--
(Subj: Finally)
It's nice to see you taking a side on this, even though you normally don't care about this stuff. What changed your mind?
- Static
--
(Subj: RE: Finally)
The Kid of Rock don't know. Cap seemed to make more sense to the Kid of Rock. But watch yourself, Static. Just because the Kid of Rock agrees with Cap, that don't mean he likes Cap. He still thinks Captain America is an out-of-touch old relic who wishes he was me.
- Kid Razor
--
(Subj: Clearing up)
It's nice to see that you've decided you're against the Act. I personally don't like the idea of my identity being in some big government database. Somebody can hack it, and in one fell swoop, learn who we all are. The consequences would be disastrous.
And Razor, why do you talk about Cap in such a way? He's one of the greatest heroes on the planet. And he didn't spend his speech time ranting about skateboarding kids on his lawn and creamed corn. You really need to stop this.
Oh, and by the way, you're welcome.
- Sonic Blue
--
(Subj: RE:Clearing up)
Whatever you say, man.
And I won't stop until Cap admits I am more awesome than he is. He was a great hero, but World War II is long over. We won. He did his thing. Now he should pass the torch. If he doesn't pass it, I'm gonna take it, because it's MINE!
- Kid Razor
--
(Subj: Lucky)
You are so lucky you live in Cleveland. Where I live, it's nothing but anti-mutant protestors.
- Anonymous
--
(Subj: RE: Lucky)
We have some of them here in Cleveland too, but nobody listens to them because they have more important things to do in this town, like watch the Kid of Rock kick ass.
- Kid Razor
--
(Subj: Yeah right)
Come on, Razor. Who are you kidding? We all know you hate Cap because he totally tried to knock your ego down to size. I'm surprised you are supporting him.
- Kim Possible
--
(Subj: RE: Yeah right)
The Kid of Rock likes his freedom, babe. And you are right. The Kid of Rock doesn't like Cap, but not because of his bruising my ego, it's because he didn't show me the proper respect. I'm Kid Razor, the greatest rocker ever! And he's just a man dressed as the flag with a fancy painted oversized hubcap. Sheesh. Just because the Kid of Rock don't like that wing-headed hokey old fart, don't mean he can't agree with the guy on something.
- Kid Razor