Okay, this is a little different than my other work, but this has been on my mind for a while and I want to be completely honest with you all right now. This is going to be an OOC fanfic. Because I'm basing this off my life, sort of. Some stuff are switched around and added to fit Eli & Clare. So not all of this happened to me personally. But I just felt like getting it down on paper, because I keep thinking about it. And when I do, I think it would be a good little story. So why not form it into Eclare. I hope you all like it.

[AUTHOR NOTE: Season 9 happened as it did, with KC leaving Clare for Jenna. But I'm adding some things that did not happen on the show. And italics are Clare's dreams and memories, etc. But this is a third person story. And Julia is alive and well and goes to Degrassi.]

Clare and KC sat in his bedroom working on homework. Clare sat on his bed as he sat at his desk. When she wasn't looking and had her head buried in her work; KC got up and sat next to her. "Do you know how cute you are?" His lips brushed her ear and she giggled as she blushed. He kissed her neck and she shoved him away, "Not now KC. We have to get this project done for Simpson's class."

He pulled her binder from her hands and dropped it on the ground. "C'mon, just a little break." His hands started to slide from her neck down her body. Clare pushed his hand away and got off the bed, "KC, I'm not comfortable with that."

KC stood up and looked down on her distressing face, "Clare, why do have to be such a saint? I want to make out with my girlfriend! I didn't know that was so wrong" There was a tone in his voice that she didn't like. So she started to gather her stuff together, "I'm going to go. See you tomorrow." KC caught her arm, "Stop being so lame! Have a little fun."

"Like Jenna?" Clare argued, knowing he's been flirting with her. And it hurt just to see them in the same room together when she's there. She can't imagine what they are like when she's gone.

KC looked around his room, grabbing at his jaw as he tried to hide is angered face. "You're going to bring that up? I told you, Jenna and I are just friends. I'm allowed to have friends."

"And flirt with them too?" Clare fought back, her voice growing loud. KC replied with a punch on her cheekbone. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to. Things got heated, and I'm sorry. You know me."

Clare felt at her eye, "it's fine. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been yelling at you. I'm just going to go. I'll see you tomorrow." She quickly replied before exiting the group home.

Clare came back to reality, shaking the memory from her. "You okay Edwards?" Eli asked. He sat across the lunch table with his arm around Julia, his girlfriend of over a year. "Yeah just blanked out for a second."

"Good. Just wanted to make sure you were alright." Eli took a bite of his apple and Julia glared at Clare. Clare shrugged it off and turned to talk to Adam.

XXX

Eli secretly was in love with Clare. Even though he was madly in love with his girlfriend Julia. They loved each other and seemed like they would never break up. Clare knew Eli liked her, but she thought it was just a crush he got over quickly, that he used to get blowjobs from Julia. Reasons why Julia and her friends despised Clare. Clare was a little of a loner, who really only had two true friends who were Eli and Adam. The only ones she could count on. Alli was still her friend but, she was always off with her own drama and helping Jenna out with her pregnancy. But Clare was alright with it all. Everything was cool with her. Others had more serious problems.

To Clare, she loved the world as the world hated her. She understood why that was. She had been through some rough stuff, but not horrible. She could deal if her mind would let her. The mind is the most powerful thing in the world when it comes to yourself; it's harder to control then most think. Clare was a great actress, of life. Her life was fake. She'd hide her feelings, smile when she wanted to seem normal. Frown when others did. Comfort when others were hurt. But never talked. Anytime Adam or Eli would ask if she was okay. She'd just say she was tired or out of it, had a headache. Common normal people feelings.

But one day Adam came running up to Clare, where she sat at the foot of her locker reading a book. He sounded so happy to announce, "Julia forfeited!" Clare got up and was placing her book back into her locker, "Adam, what are you talking about?"

"Eli and Julia. They broke up!" He was excited because Adam was the one person who knew Eli liked Clare before anyone else, and have wanted them to get together more than anyone. He was the one who made Eli get the idea to be with Clare after Julia. But, he didn't know her past. He only knew the basics; bad first and last relationship, she didn't believe in love, and had low self-esteem.

The next day, Clare sat in Ms. Dawes's classroom, writing in her notebook. Finishing up a short story she had to write for her class. The door opened and closed, but she didn't bother to look back making the assumption it was Ms. Dawes returning from her within the school errand. "Hey." Eli's voice said, spooking her, making Clare jump from her desk.

"Oh god! You scared me." She grasped at her chest, returning her attention back to her writing.

"What are you writing?" He asked, peering over her shoulder. She grinned, "Just the short story assignment." But she continued to work. "So, Julia and I broke up." He nervously slid his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

"I heard," she said as she ripped the pages out of her notebook and started to rip off the stray ends of paper that hooked to the spiral.

"Then I was wondering if you wanted to go out this Friday?" He asked and she stopped, no a better word would be froze instantly in place. She finally got the strength to slowly turn to face Eli, her mouth open relaxingly before answering, "No."

She got up, with the papers, waking over the teacher's desk to staple it and leave it on her desk as she ordered. Eli followed behind her, "No? Why?"

She was stapling her pages together. "Because you don't want to be with me." Again not making eye contact.

Eli's eyes widened, "Are you kidding?" He sounded sincere.

"I'm only going to break your heart."

"Clare!" He grabbed her elbow, twisting her around to face her. "I want to be with you! That's why Julia and I broke up. Because I love yo—"

She cut him off, yanking her arm free. "No you don't!" She screamed.

"Yes I do!" He yelled back, trying to grab her shoulder. But she jumped away, "No! Do you know why I don't date?" He stared at her waiting for an answer. "Because I'm not girlfriend material. I don't… fit into relationships."

"What the hell are you talking about?" He looked at her, as if she was going insane.

"Haven't you figured it out? I'm Crazy!" She screamed.

"No you're not," he stepped closer, but she looked away and replied immediately after him, "Save me your pity. I bet if you tried, you could still get Julia back."

"But I don't want her back."

"Then be single. I don't care. Just stop lying to yourself and move on." She made her way back to her desk.

"Lying to myself?" He asked following behind her again.

"That you actually have feeling for me," she answered.

"But I do. I really do Clare." He sounded as if he was about to cry.

"No you don't! No one does! No one ever has! And no one ever will!" She trailed off into her own thoughts.

"I love you Clare!" KC said begging like, as he was taking a seat next to her at the lunch table.

Clare sighed. "What do you want?"

"I know we have a date tonight. But I was wondering if you would let me got to Ethan's party tonight and move our date to Saturday?" KC asked.

"KC?" Clare screeched. But he jumped on her words, "I know we've had this planned all week. But the whole team is going to be there. I kind of can't miss it. Please?"

Clare thought for a moment. "Fine. You can go." He immediately jumped to his feet, wrapping his arms around her keeping himself slouched. "Thank you! I'm sorry. I owe you big time. Hey why not you come with? It'd be fun."

"Yeah… I don't think so. You go and have fun though." Clare said, and KC didn't argue. He walked over to the group of basketball players and cheerleaders were grouped together. And Clare watched as all the guys started to do whipped signs and laugh at him. He waved them down, and sat on the table right next to Jenna. Clare sighed, turning her attention away from KC to her water bottle.

"Clare. Really? Why not you go? You're his girlfriend! You need to be there to be his prize under his arm. Show you off to the world. C'mon! It'd be a lot of fun!" Alli argued Clare's decision not to go.

"Yeah. Until he ditches me for Jenna," she mumbled. "I've just not been in a KC mood these days."

Alli stared into her eyes. "I'm sorry girl." She set her hand on top of Clare's for comfort.

"That's it!" Eli yelled, bringing Clare back to presence. "I've waited way to fucking long to do this!" He said, as she looked up at him confused. He held her face, wrapping his hand around her neck and pulling their faces together. She froze again for a second, before placing her hands on his chest. She shoved him away, "Eli no!"

"Stop being so scared!" He yelled. "Of What?" She snapped. "That people actually care about you! That people love you! And someone actually wants to be with you." He held both her hands. She ripped herself from his grip running out, passing Ms. Dawes reentering the room, and down the hall, not stopping.

"What's wrong with Clare? Is she all right?" Ms. Dawes asked in concern.

Eli sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets, biting his lip; wondering what exactly did he do wrong.

What do you all think? Yeah…kinda weird, I know. But it felt good to write. Honestly. I'll have the second and final half up as soon as I can. Thank you all for reading! And please tell me what you think! I'd appreciate it! Love you all! :*(^_^) ~Eli