Can't Stop

by Shinigami1216

All alone in my room, think of you at a rate that is truly alarming. I keep looping my memories of you in my head, I pretend that you want me. And I fall asleep and dream of alternate realities. And I put myself at ease by pretending that she still loves me. kinda angst, one sided IchiRuki

Request from AnimeBabe33.1 . Sorry it took so long, but I did it. Song by Maroon Five- Cant Stop.

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I hate days like these, when I'm home alone with nothing to preoccupy myself from letting my thoughts drift to her. I think about that midget so much, it's getting to an alarming rate, but I can't help it. She was always a few feet away from me, and if it was quiet I could hear every time she would exhale while she was sleeping. My thought always loop back to her, no matter what I do, pretending that she wants me. And during nights like these when I do fall asleep, I dream of alternate realities, involving us in sinful scene that leaves me feeling guilty whenever I wake up. When I have those dreams I wake up in a cold sweat, I would have a bonner that would put wood to shame, even though I'm just a friend, a fighting partner to her.

And I can't stop thinking about her every time she is ripped away from my world time and time again. It doesn't matter how long she stay, but it can never fill the void in my heart when she leaves. It's not like I can call and talk to her. Her cell phone doesn't connect to the world of the living, and even if it did, she would be too busy to talk to me.

She would follow me every here I go, even if she were on a mission, she was never too far behind me. I wrestle her in my dreams, and would wake up in the middle of the night making love to a pillow. I would fall back asleep as fast as I woke up, jumping to yet another reality where she would love me.

She always leaves her chappy dolls in my closet, and whenever I go to get dressed, I would always think of her, willing the unwanted tears from falling. My sisters would always ask if I was ok when I walk down the stairs with bags under my eyes, red and puffy from crying. And every day I say "I'm fine," and walk off to school with toast hanging out of my mouth, as my sisters follow my retreating back with sympathetic eyes.

Every time she was hear, something ALWAYS comes up, pulling the already little attention she would have on me. I would go to hell and back, heck, even fight Kempachi again just to catch her attention. She has tattooed herself in my heart, but every time she leaves, she would take part of my heart back with her.

Rukia, I miss you.