A Very "Hollow"ween
A/N: This fanfiction is dedicated to myLITTLEnekoSHIRO, an awesome and amazing writer. I read my first yaoi fanfiction and it was written by her, so go look at her stories! She has a really funny one called 'xXBleach ScandalsXx", it's 'scandalously funny'!
WINTER BABY! I don't own Bleach. Oh and bad words so K+.
Summary (skip if you want to): Halloween in Huenco Mundo!
Chapter 1(Probably the only chapter):
"OOooooh! Aizen-sama! It's Halloween, what are you going to do this year? Are ya gonna have us do something fun like we never got to last year in Soul Society? Are ya, are ya…" Gin's voice pounded on Aizen's ear drum. His brow furrowed as he tried to tune out the annoying subordinate.
"YES, GIN!" Aizen yelled impatiently. Obtaining a more collective approach, he continued, "But we are going to call it 'hollow'ween."
"Yay! Holloween!" Gin exclaimed like a kid at the candy store.
"Call those Espada to a meeting, I want to have fun with this holiday," Aizen ordered in a suspicious tone.
~~~~~~~~~AT THE MEETING~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Fuck these goddamn meeting! Fuck this goddamn rectangle table! Why can't sit at a damn round table like those assholes that served King Arthur! I hate rectangles, they are so fucked up!" Nnoitra screamed, then he slammed his hand on the table to make a loud THUD!
"Why the hell would you…?" Starrk didn't feel the need to finish his sentence. Only Nnoitra would be so low-tempered when it came to rectangles.
"Looks like a certain spoon found out the fork was cheating on him with the knife," Halibel joked softly.
"Why you little bitch….!" Nnoitra's opened eye twitched.
"Nnoitra," Grimmjow called his attention.
"Shut up," Ulquiorra finished Grimmjow's thought aimed towards Nnoitra.
"EMO!"
"I swear, you act like a hormone-crazed adolescent," Ulquiorra pointed out.
"Hah! I do not! I don't even know what hormones are!"
"Exactly."
Nnoitra opened his mouth widely, just as the offensive words were about to leak, Aizen call their attention. The highness motioned them to sit down in their seats. Nnoitra sat down and swiveled in his seat, "tch!"
"I have called forth a very special meeting—" Aizen began only to be interrupted by Grimmjow.
"Yeah, finally whose butt are we gonna kick?"
"No one's, Grimmjow. Please let me finish. As you probably don't know, today is Halloween, it's a holiday where the living dress up and the children dress up, usually as evil spirits, and go trick-or-treating."
"Trick or… treating?" Ulquiorra asked slowly, "That's sound very childish, Aizen-sama."
"Well, it's only for children," then Aizen added, "Unless you cute little duckling want to be children."
"No," All the Espada said at the same time.
"Ok, but you are going to dress up," Aizen ordered harshly.
Most of the Espada just sighed or slightly groaned.
"Fine…." Aaroniero whined, suddenly he jumped in his seat, "Then I call Edward Cullen!"
"Oh yeah? Then I call Jacob!" Grimmjow slammed his hands on the table as if to make a point, then he pointed to Ulquiorra, "You are going to be Bella! But you're going to pick me over him, cuz I'm ripped."
"I am not going to be a girl from a young adult vampire romance novel," Ulquiorra stated blankly.
"No! Ulquiorra you have to be mine cause I'm Edward Cullen and I got you pregnant in the last book, remember you even had my child," Aaroniero teased, now taking on the form of Kaien Shiba to make it a little less awkward.
Aizen and Gin looked over the table surprised at the situation.
"What the hell, guys?" Nnoitra said, "If anyone deserves a good night with Ulquiorra, it's me!"
"No! Clearly, Ulqui-chan would pick me over any of you," Szayel argued.
Ulquiorra was clearly aghast and nervously eyed Starrk for advice. Starrk looked at him a little pitifully, "Guys, you can discuss your fantasies later. He's clearly scarred for life as it is."
"Fine," the inferior Espada groaned in agreement to their superior's suggestion.
Gin interrupted, "Since ya guys can't come up with good costumes, I've gotta suggestion!"
"What, Gin?" Aizen asked.
"We can do that secret Santa thing! Like we have the Espada dress up as each other!"
"NO," the word echoed throughout the halls of Las Noches.
"I wonder what happened," Yytlforde asked Ggio.
"Not sure, probably on of Aizen weird and crazy suggestions," Ggio replied nonchalantly, "Good thing we're not part of it."
"Do as I say or we will go on a 'family vacation'," Aizen threatened.
"AW, HAIL NO!" Nnoitra yelled.
"Ok, we agree, dammit, just not another one of those vacations!"
"Aizen-sama, we wish to not spend 96 hours 'touring' the grains of sand in Huenco Mundo," Mr. Monotone emphasized the other's point.
"If you do that one more time, you won't be able to sit for a week," Halibel threatened.
"I will personally walk to your room and smack you," Zommari finally spoke.
"I will order the hollows of Huenco Mundo to torture you!" Barragan bellowed.
"Then it's the Halloween," Aizen assured.
Gin held a small opaque bowl with little slips of paper.
"Pick only one!" Gin sang.
"Gh… Piss me off," Nnoitra muttered and slipped out one of the two pieces of paper from his hand.
After everyone had picked a piece of paper, Gin gave them the signal to open it.
There were a few moments of pure, awkward silence as the Espada stared blankly at the name that was written on their paper.
"Are you trying to turn me into a transsexual?" Starrk asked.
"Same, I have Yammy's name written on my paper," halibel said quietly.
"No! It's supposed to me more fun like this!" Aizen exclaimed.
"Fun?!" Grimmjow screamed as he opened his paper, "How the hell do you expect me to dress up as the spoon over there."
"YEAH, AND HOW THE FUCK DO I IMPERSONATE Mr. Emocar over there?!" Nnoitra raged.
"Well for one thing, you guys can think of valid insults… So you can if you try~!" Gin smiled even wider.
Halibel smacked the back of Gin's head.
"Owww…" Gin winced, "What was that for Hali-chan."
"For one thing, don't call me that," Halibel placed a hand on her hips, "And, two, what do you think this is, a damn Disney movie? So if we believe, everything will come true? Ok, so if I believe that you are going to burst into flames, will you?"
"…" Gin couldn't argue with that, "Fire is scary."
His stupid remark just made Halibel even pissed her. Before long, there were many different colored ceros being pointed at Gin, "Aww, come on guys I'm like your mother!"
"WHAT?!" Grimmjow yelled, surprised.
"Grimmjow, stay on track," Ulquiorra alerted him.
"Right," Grimmjow kept his cero pointed towards Gin, as did the others.
"Espada, sit," Aizen ordered. Sensing the danger in his voice, the Espada did as they were told.
End of chapter 1, looks like there will be another chapter! Happy Belated Birthday myLITTLEnekkoSHIRO!
Favorite and Review you like Nnoitra's antics! And the Espada's fights over Ulquiorra! Or if you 'laughed out loudly'!