Vicky stared at the girl before her.
"Goo!" the little girl sat in one of the chairs at the kitchen table and pointed at Vicky.
"Goo yourself."
"Vicky. Be nice to Sammy. Sammy, use real words please." Timmy had his arms crossed and glanced back and forth between the actual child, and his girlfriend, who merely acted like a child.
"Don't tell me who to be nice to! This is your fault!"
"How exactly?"
"How is this kid your fault?! You wanna think about that for a few minutes? Don't worry, we'll wait here." Vicky crossed her arms now and looked at Timmy, an action that was mimicked by the small red-headed girl.
"Yeah... I don't really see how this is my fault... More like Ricky's, but not mine."
Vicky put her hands over the little girl's ears. "Shh! The less she knows about him, the better."
"I guess so... she's got your eyes..."
Vicky turned and looked to see that the little girl did indeed have pink eyes. "Huh. Never noticed before."
"And your hair..."
"Well I-"
"And your personality."
"Alright enough, why wouldn't she?"
"I dunno, I just figured she'd have more in common with her dad." Timmy walked over and ruffled the little girl's hair, eliciting a giggle.
"Ugh... I hate children, why did this have to happen?"
"That's what happens when you don't use contraceptives..."
"Shut it!"
"Yeah! Shut it!" the little girl pointed at Timmy accusingly.
Vicky stared at Sammy with a look of surprise while Timmy merely stifled a laugh. "She's smart, I'll give her that."
"That isn't smart, it's a parlor trick, like a parrot being able to talk."
Sammy began to tear up and rub at her eyes.
"Vicky..." Timmy picked the girl up and cuddled her. "You really ought to be nicer to her, she's not gonna just disappear..."
"Ugh... I'm no good at this parenting thing... You are because you're the woman in this relationship..."
"I don't pop out munchkins though." he turned his attention to Sammy. "Are you a munchkin? Are you?"
Sammy stopped crying and giggled at Timmy's antics.
Timmy put her down and watched her drop down on all fours, then crawl into the living room, leaving him alone with Vicky.
"Y'know, you could've said no to-"
"You know I couldn't do that..."
"Oh? Little bit of that maternal instinct kicking in?"
"No, it's just... I don't know if I'm cut out for all this..."
"Eh... you just need practice." Timmy put his arm around her waist.
"Maybe..."
"C'mon, let's go see what she's up to."
The two entered the living room to find Sammy reclining on the couch, watching TV.
"Oh look, something else she has in common with you." Timmy smirked at Vicky.
"Crimson Chin!" Sammy was happily bouncing up and down on the couch.
Vicky didn't say anything at this, she merely nudged Timmy with her elbow.
"Looks like she got the best of both worlds."
"I'd say so..."
Timmy went and sat next to Sammy, who moved next to him and leaned into him. "Heh... I wonder if she'll have fairies one day... Nah, she seems pretty happy, I don't think she'll need them..." "Vicky? Would you like to join us?"
"Uh... sure." Vicky sat down on the couch, causing Sammy to smile up at her before returning her attention to Timmy and reaching up at him.
"What?" Timmy leaned down, and Sammy took the opportunity to snatch his hat off his head and put it on her own.
"Mine!"
"Well... I guess I can let you have it... but don't make a habit out of just taking things. It's better to ask for things than to just take them, understand?"
Sammy smiled cutely and nodded in understanding.
"Good." he stuck his hand under the hat and ruffled her hair again.
The front door opened and Timmy's parents walked in. "Oh, Timmy! I didn't know you and Vicky were here!"
"Yeah, we decided to stay in today on account of... well..." Timmy gestured to the little girl nestled in between him and Vicky.
"Oh that's nice, I-" Timmy's mother's eyes shot wide open and she dropped her purse on the floor.
Sammy looked at Timmy's mother and waved her hand. "Hi!"
"Honey!" Timmy's mother looked out the door to the car. "Honey! Get in here!"
Timmy's dad walked in. "What is it dear?"
"Look!" his mother pointed to the child between Timmy and Vicky.
"What? I-" Timmy's father stopped and stared for several seconds. "Wha? What is that?!"
"Uh... this is Samantha."
Sammy stuck her hand up and waved at Timmy's father now. "Hi! I'm Sammy!"
"Yeah, she prefers Sammy." Timmy returned his attention to the TV.
"What are you two doing?!" Timmy's father stomped forward and shut off the TV.
"Dad... we were watching that..."
"Yeah! We was watching that..."
"Oh no! I want an explanation, right now!"
"Um... I can't sit around watching TV with my girlfriend?"
"Your mother and I were okay with you and Vicky dating, but only if the two of you practiced safe sex!"
Timmy put his hands over Sammy's ears. "Dad?! Language please?!"
"What's sex?" Sammy looked back and forth between Vicky and Timmy.
Vicky pinched the bridge of her nose. "Perfect..."
"You two have a daughter?! And one who is over a year old?!"
"Dad-"
"No! If you two are so keen on having kids and keeping them secret, then I expect you to show Vicky the utmost respect and propose to her, right now!"
"Yeah, I'll pass on that one." Vicky waved Timmy's dad away.
"What?!"
"I have no interest in getting married anytime soon. All that crap about God needing to affirm my love for Timmy? Thanks, but no thanks." Vicky grabbed the remote and turned the TV back on.
"Yay!" Sammy wrapped her arms around Vicky, who patted her on the back.
"Now, do you mind if we go back to watching TV?"
"Yes, I do!" Timmy's dad turned the TV off again, eliciting a groan and a pout from Sammy. "I want the two of you to explain yourselves!"
"Not with that attitude." Vicky turned the TV back on and shoved Timmy's dad out of the way. "Now. Stop. Yelling. You're upsetting Sammy." she sat back down and hugged the little girl.
Timmy's father took a few deep breaths. "Alright, I'm calm. I'm calm."
"Good for you." they may have said they were okay with Timmy and her dating, but the night Timmy told them, they tried everything to talk him out of it. It wasn't until he threatened to move out that they finally relented.
"Vicky..." Timmy's mother spoke up now. "When did this happen?"
"When did what happen?" she was enjoying torturing them now.
"That." his mother pointed toward Sammy.
"Hey, Sammy isn't a 'thing', she's a person."
"I'm sorry, I just-"
"And what does it even matter?"
"It matters because you two have a daughter and Timmy isn't even employed!"
"Yes I am."
"What?!"
"I've had a job for a while now, I'm Vicky's assistant at her daycare."
"Since- since when?"
"Since... about three and a half years ago, I think?" Timmy scratched his chin in thought.
"I think we're past four now, actually." Vicky added in.
"How did- When did-?" Timmy's mother babbled just shy of incoherently.
"You would know if you actually paid more attention to your son." Vicky interjected.
"Vicky, let's not get into this right now..."
"Fine." Vicky returned to watching the TV.
"But- but- we're too young to be grandparents!" Timmy's mother wrapped her arms around her husband, and they both knelt on the floor and began to weep.
Timmy looked over at Vicky and Sammy. "Should- should we tell them?"
"Give it another minute." Vicky smiled at him.
The front door suddenly opened to reveal Tootie. She looked at Timmy's parents weeping on the floor. "What the?" Then to Timmy and Vicky reclining on the couch, Sammy leaning into Vicky. "There's my little angel!"
Sammy reached out toward Tootie. "Mommy!"
Timmy's mother looked up at Tootie. "Mommy?!"
Tootie walked over and took Sammy from Vicky. "Thanks for watching her you two, I owe you again."
"No problem. She's always great. It's scary how much she looks like me sometimes..."
"Yeah, doctor once told me it was some sort of recessive genes or something..."
"Is AJ mad?"
"Why would he be?"
"Sammy looks nothing like him."
"Eh, he'll get over it, if he is bothered by it, but he's never said anything to me. Why are your parents crying?"
"Long story."
"Ah, got it. You two ready to head out?"
"Yep, just gimme a sec with these two..." Timmy walked over to his parents. "Mom, Dad? Me and Vicky are gonna head out with Tootie for a while, you two gonna be okay?"
"But you- and her- and Sammy..."
"What? Oh! You thought- Hahaha! That's great!" Timmy gave them both a knowing smile and waggled his finger at them. "You're goofy!" he pulled them into a hug.
"Auntie Vicky! C'mon!"
"Timmy? You really wanna keep the kid waiting?"
"I'm coming! See you guys later!"
Timmy's parents watched him leave, both had completely dumbfounded expressions on their faces.
Timmy got in the car next to Sammy, Vicky sat up front with Tootie.
"So what was that all about?"
"They thought Sammy was ours."
"Oh... they didn't take it well?"
"Well, we could've flat-out denied them, but it was much more fun to play along."
"Ugh... you're both evil... Looks like she corrupted you after all..."
"There is good cake over here on the dark side."
"You're missing out..." Vicky spoke in a sing-song voice.
"I'll pass, thanks."
"So, how did this little bundle of joy happen anyway?" Timmy began tickling Sammy.
"Yeah, you always avoid it when we ask..."
Tootie sighed loudly. "You remember that day when we went to the Mall and you saw that movie?"
"Yeah..."
"Then I dropped you off and you told me to use 'protection'?" Tootie made air quotes on the word protection.
"Yeah...?"
"Well I did... Well he did. And it broke."
"What broke?"
"The condom."
The car became uncomfortably silent.
"Yeah..."
Timmy and Vicky burst out laughing, followed by Sammy, then finally Tootie, who chuckled nervously.
"Heheh... yeah... funny story..."
"It's actually even funnier because Timmy and I... well, you know... that night, and we didn't use protection!" Vicky burst into another fit of laughter.
"I hate you sometimes..."
"Love you too sis!"