- WE CHANGED -
[ POV – Satoshi ] - 2,588 words -
''Everyone! I brought some cookies with me.''
That's Chitanda Eru for you. I like her and all but there's something about her that bothers me…
Maybe it's the fact that she changes Houtarou so easily?
I know, I know. Her eyes are kinda magical, even to me, but that they can change Houtarou is scary.
Oh, those cookies remind me of something.
''Hey Mayaka, they would totally match with your cospl-''
''Don't you dare!''
Meh, she doesn't have to hit me.
And as always, Houtarou doesn't even look at me.
Heh, why am I even thinking this?
Somehow I catch myself thinking things like that very often lately.
Maybe it's because I'm jealous of Chitanda. She spends so much time with him and I, as his best friend, don't get to see him out of school.
Oh man, the girls are talking so much. I haven't listened to a word about what they said just now.
Maybe if I just-
''Satoshi, what's wrong?''
''Huh, w-what is it Houtarou? What do you mean?''
That surprised me. Why do we even whisper?
''You're acting strange lately. Always thinking.''
''Yeah, I noticed that too. Maybe you can find out why? You know, because a database can't draw conclusions~!''
''Mhm.''
There is it again! He changed… He doesn't say 'I don't want to' or 'that would cost too much energy' anymore. Just a 'Mhm'. It's not that he is too lazy to answer properly. He just… changed.
''Guys, we're going. See you tomorrow!''
The two girls left and there's just him and me now.
I feel so uncomfortable…
''I guess I'll go-''
''Oh no. You're going nowhere.''
….? Did he just cut me off?
It's getting creepy. That's really not like him.
''U-uhm, I still have some homework to do…''
''I don't care! …I'm worried about you.''
''Eh?''
''You're spacing out way too much. That's not like you…''
''Not like me…?''
''I'm not the only one who noticed. Mayaka told me that you weren't listening to her at all earlier.''
''You're telling me I'm not acting like myself? But it's you who is totally out of character lately!''
''M-me?''
''Yes, you! Since Chitanda came into your life… you're no longer yourself… and…''
''Chitanda has nothing to do with why I changed. It's a little more complicated.''
''Then tell me why!''
''It's- Man, you can't just-… Urgh… I don't know how to say it.''
''Houtarou! I don't know the reason but you're starting to get on my nerves! Tell me or let me go!''
''…Fine, I'm going.''
And here I am… all alone.
Is he serious? What could be so hard for him to say? We never had any fights like this before. I just wonder what the reason is. Should I rush after him and apologize? Wait, I don't have to apologize! He's the one who's so stupid! I guess I'll have to wait until tomorrow…
- - D A Y -
Oh well, today morning we haven't even talked to each other. The usual walk to school was really uncomfortable for me and I guess for him too. But I don't care! He should just tell me the reason already… But what could it be? If it's nothing about Chitanda then I guess it's about Mayaka or me; or maybe Mayaka and me. Well, I guess I have to find out on my own and that will be really hard because I'm a database! How should I approach this… -Ah! I know how!
-Later in the Classical Club Room.
''Mayaka! How about you come to my place after school? We could do whatever you want. I just want to spend some time with you.'' I said with the friendliest smile I have.
''Eh? U-uhm… okay.''
She seemed really surprised and I can imagine why. I never invite her over without a proper reason.
And I can feel how Houtarou stares at me. Man, that makes me nervous… But now I have proof that it's about Mayaka and me! I have to confront him tomorrow. I don't want our friendship to end or something. But for now I just have to hang out with Mayaka.
After we left the Club Room she mumbled something strange.
– ''You just want to make him jealous, don't you?'' —
Why should I do that? And why does she think that anyway? I don't want to make him jealous; I just want to prove something!
Well, that was it for today. We just talked about some Holmes stuff and she soon left.
- - D A Y -
Okay, today I wanna confront him! I don't know why he has something against Mayaka and me. I should've found out before I confront him but I can't wait any longer! He just has to tell me the reason. I mean, he has a reason. He's just too shy or something to tell me.
So it was after school now and I just had to ask him. We were in Classroom 2A; alone.
''Phew, that day was a pain, wasn't it? I'm glad it's over.''
He just looked up from his homework and gave me a confused look. Why so confused Houtarou? Why don't you just talk with me?
He looked down on his paper again.
''Anyway, how about you and I go to my place today? You could sleep over since it is Saturday and—''
''Why don't you invite Mayaka instead? I'm sure she'll gladly accept your offer.''
Urgh! He cut me off again!
''But I'm asking you not her.''
''That's true but I don't see the reason behind it.''
''Do you really need a reason? Okay, then I'll give you one. Because our friendship is currently in a bad state and if this continues then I'm sure soon we're no longer friends anymore. Is that reason enough for you, Oreki?''
''…Oreki? Why so impersonal now?''
''Are you coming or not?''
''-Sigh- Fine…''
He finished his homework and soon after he packed his things together we left the building.
The walk to my house was very awkward again. We hadn't talked a single word and I started to become nervous. I unlocked my door and we entered my house.
''Satoshi, can I call my sister? I have to make sure she doesn't worry.''
''Sure.''
I started to prepare dinner and I heard Oreki talking.
''I'm sure everything will turn out like it should. – I think I can't hide it anymore.''
That's the only things I heard.
So he will tell me what's wrong.
But why is he talking about this with his sister?
I placed the dishes on the table while the rice still had to boil a bit but the sauce was ready.
''Oh, you're cooking?''
''Uh… yeah. Nothing special though.''
He sat down and studied the pictures on the wall.
''Where are your parents today?''
''They're currently really busy over in America, so I'll be alone for another week. – Oh, rice is ready.''
I put everything on the table and we began to eat. I was surprised because it tasted well. To be honest, I normally can't cook. And Houtarou must have noticed it too. He made those 'Mhhhm' noises.
After that I cleaned everything together with him.
''So, what do you want to do? We could play some videogames or just-''
''We have to talk.''
Man, you all know I hate when he cuts me off. And this time I hadn't even tried to hide my hurt look.
''…Right.''
We made our way into my room and I sat down on my bed while Houtarou stood in front of me.
''Okay, to make one thing clear: You're not in love with Mayaka, are you?''
''Huh? W-why would you ask that? I'm not in love with her… But now I want to ask something in return... Are you in love with Chitanda?''
''No. It may seem so but no, I don't like her that way. She just gets all curious and annoying that I have no other choice but to help her, you know?''
''Oh, and why are you not yourself anymore?''
''Don't forget that it's my turn now. So, are you even in love with someone?''
''I… I don't know. I don't really think it's love but… that's the only word that can describe my feelings for this person well enough. Now answer my previous question.''
Do I really think that? If that's true then… Oh gosh…
''I'm not myself anymore because I'm in love. If that is reason enough for you.''
Houtarou is in love… that's strange. Who could it be? There's just one person who could be kind of interesting for him.
''…So that's why you were jealous when I asked Mayaka yesterday…''
''Was it that obvious?''
''Well, it could only be me or her, so I guess she's the only person who matches.''
''Wait, she? So you still haven't figured it out. I'm not in love with Mayaka, stupid.''
''Ehh? T-that would mean…! No, no, no, no, no, that just can't be true!''
I could feel how my face grew hot.
If he loves me then… then we could…
''Wow, five no's. I guess my feelings are one sided. But I already expected that.''
He sat down beside me and continued.
''I hope you don't ever experience one sided love… You'll cry, you'll start worrying, you'll be frustrated and then you'll lose hope.''
Is that what he's been through? Because of me? How can he be so calm? He just kind of confessed to me… and I kind of… dumped him? – No that's not what I want. I want to confess too but… I'm so nervous I can't talk. My heart beats so fast. What should I do? I can't talk, I can't breathe, I can't do anything!
I just sat there, totally stunned until I felt a hand on my forehead.
''You're not sick, are you? Maybe you should rest. I can walk home by myself.''
He walked to my door and just wanted to open it.
''… don't …''
''Huh? …What did you say?''
''Don't… go…, please.''
This touch. I could still feel his hand on my forehead. But something like that is nowhere near enough, I mean, it was just a touch.
He stood right in front of me now.
''Houtarou… I… I said no because you just surprised me. Not because I don't want to or something. Y-you know, I… uhh… I kind of… love you. S-so… I don't know what I should say…''
''You don't need to say anything.''
And with that said, he kissed me. It was a light and sweet kiss. Just the touch of our lips made me feel needy. He slowly pulled away and looked at me; smiling. I could see a light blush on his cheeks. Then I pulled him closer to me, in a kiss which was rougher this time. He slid his tongue into my mouth and I moaned into the kiss. He lay onto me and everything was so hot; the air, my whole body, our tongues and Houtarou himself. After some more hot, rough and long kisses I decided that we had to stop. It was hard to pull away but I managed it somehow.
''Houtarou… I don't think we should go any further. If we continue then I don't know how long I can… you know… hold myself back…''
He chuckled ''I waited for a long time and you can't do the same?''
''W-well…''
''I know you want to hold back but your little friend down there seems not to share your opinion.''
He touched my in pants covered manhood.
''Ehh? S-stop it! T-that's embarrassing!''
''Is that so? Then how about this?''
He slit his hand into my pants and kind of rubbed it without any harm. I mean, he was touching it with his bare hand! How can he do that!?
''H-houtarou! S-ahh-stop!''
''What? I couldn't hear you.''
He went faster and faster until I pushed him away. ''STOP!''
I was out of breath, aroused and crying. I'm so manly, aren't I? I didn't dare to look at him, so I just left the room without doing so. I heard him call after me but I went straight to the bathroom and calmed myself down. I was not ready yet. I needed some time.
It took me about an hour to finally come out of the bathroom. My thoughts were all blank and I felt raped somehow. I know he didn't rape me. That would be exaggerated and absurd. But I can't just shake off this feeling. I could finally say I love you and now this?
Where could he be? I started searching in my room but it was empty. Maybe he's in the kitchen or… maybe he just left.
''Satoshi…?''
Oh, I was spacing out again and hadn't noticed him sitting there on a couch in front of me in the living room.
''Satoshi, are you okay now?''
''Y-yeah…'' My eyes were still red and my voice was crappy from crying too much.
''-Sigh- So this time I was an ass. I'm really sorry, Satoshi. Please, believe me! I… I didn't want to hurt you in any way. That really is the last thing I want. I just… man, I just couldn't control myself. You were so cute and innocent. I couldn't help it. You can throw me out of here. I really regret this. I wasn't thinking… but what's done can't be undone. So I will take my punishment from you.''
''No… no, that wouldn't make anything better. And I don't want you to leave… I need you now; but not in the pervert way. I need you just to be here and comfort me. Y-you know, I kind of feel a bit strange… I just want that I feel comfortable around you. No matter where; in school, at home, in public, alone. A-and sorry about earlier… I'm not ready for something like that yet. It's kind of embarrassing to admit but I want my first time to be without any doubts. I want to be prepared and I want to do it with you; but not now.''
''I'm sorry.''
''I know that.''
''I'm sorry.''
''Yeah, you can stop now.''
''I just wanted to make sure you know that I'm sorry.''
''Oh, shut it.''
He pulled me closer. I was sitting on his lap as he whispered to me.
''…I love you.''
''I love you, too.''
I was really happy. He understood my point of view and didn't laugh at it. He was there; comforting me all night long. And maybe, just maybe, we will soon go a step further.
- E N D -
[Author - LeiaMordio]
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