Notes: So this is just… I don't know what this is. I wrote it and my friend korynn said I should post it. So here you go, some Derek headcanon.
Different
he feels so horrible about everything, he so incessantly says "the bite is a gift" because he used to disagree.
he went out with kate because she was the only one who would. he was a dorky, skinny kid with ears too big for his head.
he hid away from everyone else because he was afraid of what he was. a werewolf. he'd seen things. he knew they were dangerous.
he was different and he'd always ached to be normal.
it was a shock, then when he realized that being a werewolf wasn't the only thing that made him different.
he didn't like girls.
he wasn't social, but he was forced to be. his mom often made him join sports clubs because it was something he, like most born werewolves, was innately good at.
he didn't like other people, not really. they were too noisy, too busy, too fast. it made him want to hide away.
it didn't help that on top of that he could hear every single thing they said. he could hear it when they talked about him behind his back. how rather than refer to him by name they often called him "that weird quiet kid" or when they all talked about how hot his older sister was. that always creeped him out.
another thing he didn't like?
girls.
the other boys would talk about girls all the time and he wasn't interested. for a long time, he figured that was just because he hadn't met any he liked. he figured he didn't like anyone so why should girls be any different?
it took him until he was 15 to realize that wasn't exactly it.
no, he didn't like girls because he liked boys.
it was a random encounter with a senior in his school, a friend of laura's, one day after school. this guy, david, came by looking for laura. derek told him she wasn't home. and david nodded and said he'd come back later.
and that was it.
derek suddenly understood what people were talking about.
but he didn't want it. he didn't want to be even weirder than he already was.
that was when kate showed up.
and he went along with it.
she was the only girl, of any age, who ever showed any interest in him. so he went with it.
and then she burned his house down and murdered his entire family.
all so he could pretend to be normal.
he'd never even liked her.
he'd just been pretending.
and for that, he lost everything.
because he couldn't accept that he was different. that he was a werewolf. that he was gay.
and he lost everything for it. it was all his fault.
all of it.
and he can't accept it.
that doesn't change.
he's still unable to accept things.