Nill sat in an empty pew that was pushed to the side as best as her little arms and weak muscles could manage, an old broom rested next to her as she took a break from sweeping. It was a lazy but rather warm Sunday afternoon. The congregation had let out an hour or two ago, or rather, what posed as a congregation. Even though this was a church, and Ernst was an actual clergy man (as best as he could be in this run down city), it never really seemed to be a true congregation, not like she knew what a "true" one was like anyway.

They were all faces she had seen many times. People she had passed on the street roughing someone up, people getting roughed up by Heine and Badou, or people whose faces she'd rather forget. It was like they came here for a break, a little escape from being animals on the sidelines of the world at large. They sat, they prayed, the stood when asked, some even donated money. Not like they had to though.

They watched the blind priest go on about mercy, forgiveness, redemption; all were foreign concepts to these sideliners. They looked on as she flitted about getting things when she needed to, dressed in white, head to toe, only on Sundays. Ernst said he was trying to invoke the image of an angel, one of the ones that decorated the stained glass.

She tilted her head back, closed her eyes, and smiled. Feeling the warmth of the artificial sun, the closest they had to the real thing in the underground, on her skin. The time spent cleaning on Sundays meant another week had gone by. Their little family of ragtag misfits had survived another week of heartache, of getting shot, stabbed, harassed, whatever it seemed life wanted to throw at them.

Sundays also meant that she was guaranteed to be visited by Heine. It was the only day of the week in which everyone was busy in the afternoon and she was all alone. Save for him, of course. She liked the time she got to spend with him, it meant he kept their little promise one more week, that he was alive and living, if only barely, for one more week.

It upset her to think about all the times he'd come bloodied and riddled with holes to the rundown church. He would barge in, sometimes dragging Badou, sometimes being dragged. They would swear and insult each other for the other not doing their job better. She was afraid that there would be one day even he wouldn't be able to heal from his wounds. She dreaded that day; she hoped she died before it. After all, what was she supposed to do without him?

He protected her and watched out for her more than the others did, which was quite impressive considering how they wouldn't let anyone near her if they didn't trust them. Heine however just made her feel the safest; he didn't let anyone close to her but him, unless she was the one who went up to them first, regardless of whom it was. He would still stand near her just in case.

Her heart ached when she remembered that even though she felt safe and comfortable around him, he didn't feel the same. He always worried that he would become unhinged more than he already was (another thing that upset her about him, she didn't think he was crazy or dangerous towards her in the slightest,) that he would rip her and everyone else to shreds. That the "beast" in his neck would take over and paint the walls red with blood, flesh, and whatever else hid in their bodies. But more than anything, he was afraid to hurt her. It didn't matter how he was just afraid to hurt her.

He never got to close to her or touched her, not unless she started it. Even then he'd be stiff, only hugging her back because it was expected for him to, only holding her hand limply whenever she grabbed it, and sitting up straighter when she sat next to him. Nill was happy that he allowed himself these small comforts however.

She was quite happy that she was one of the only two women he let touch him. And the only one that could touch him whenever. However she knew that there were times and places where she should only smile at him and mouth some sort of encouragement. Places on his body that she shouldn't touch, the collar around his neck, she learned that one of the first weeks she'd known him.

It was raining that day, something that rarely happened in the underground. She was cleaning, much like today, when he came sulking in. He'd lain down on a pew towards the front; the wood and his leather both creaking as he did so. She half-fluttered half-walked over to him, carrying a small stool that she placed to next to him and sat on it, peering down at his taut expression, lips drawn in a line. Stormy red eyes met clear blue and she smiled softly at him.

"What's the matter?" She mouthed carefully, moving the hair away from his eyes. Even though he was okay with her touching him for the most part, she did so tentatively. Making sure that he was really alright with it, after all, she knew what it was like to have someone you didn't want touch you.

"Nothing." Was the response, it was clipped and said much too quickly. She didn't press him to answer honestly. She didn't know him that well, but she knew that he had scars. Not physical, he was lucky in that sense that at least when, if, he looked into the mirror he didn't get a constant reminder of what had been done to him. Reminders of who had hurt him like she did. But mental rather, ones that no amount of band aids and ointments could fix.

"Tired?"

"Yeah…"

"Then sleep, silly." They both knew that's not what she meant when she asked him if he was tired, the both knew that that wasn't what he meant when he replied.

"Yeah." He spoke again, closing his eyes before rolling onto his side, facing away from her.

She sat there next to him for a few moments before deciding that he really was sleeping. She went up the rusty spiral staircase to her little bedroom, it was small, but it had a window that dropped to a ledge and a decent bathroom. Not to mention a sturdy lock that Heine proved couldn't be picked easily. She grabbed her pillow and one of her blankets, and brought them downstairs.

Gently she removed his boots and soaked jacket, her wings fluttered slightly when he stirred, but he didn't wake up only snored lightly. Continuing she also gently removed his guns and the chain attached to them and placed them with his coat and boots at the head of the pew, within arm's reach, of course.

She threw the blanket over him and lightly tucked him in, the same way that he had done for her when she first slept at the church, only less rough and a bit more careful. Not to mention she actually tucked him in, not just pretending to.

Smiling she grabbed her pillow and thought about how to go about putting in under his head. She very well couldn't let him sleep without one, his neck and shoulders were already sore enough as it is from all the stress and the collar. With that same tentativeness in her motions she gently picked up his head and slid the pillow underneath.

Only now his blanket fell off a bit and wasn't covering his shoulders.

'That won't do.' She thought grabbing the soft material and pulling it up, accidentally brushing the back of the collar as she did so.

He immediately shot up and looked around wide eyed. Nill backed up into another pew and didn't move, her wings folded close to her. Heine looked at her and brought a shaky hand to his face, his other grabbing a fistful of the blanket.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean-" His voice cut off her silent plea. It was low and threatening.

"Don't you ever do that again." She swallowed thickly and nodded, Heine noticing her terrified state softened his face and voice. "Just don't, don't touch me there, okay?" She nodded again.

Nill opened her eyes and looked up at the stone ceiling, cracked and crumbling paint was still left in some parts. She came to learn that not only did touching that collar tend to bring up some dark memories for him, it was also sensitive. In fact, his whole neck back there and the tops of his shoulders were sensitive if his reactions to Badou clapping him on the back were any indication.

'I wonder when he's going to get here…' She thought. Almost if on cue the heavy wood door opened, turning to look she smiled at the familiar black clad albino. Her little wings fluttering.

"Hi." He spoke softly sitting down next to her.

"Hello!" Beaming up at him she began telling him all about her week. From getting new dresses, to having to break up an extremely rare argument between Naoto and Badou, she even told him about managing to sew a decent hem and conquering the elusive button thanks to the redhead.

He gave her a small but soft and sincere smile. Nill liked that only she got to see Heine give a real nonthreatening smile. However small it may be. It made him look younger, at least by a few years; then again he wasn't that old. She did notice that there was sadness around him, more so than usual.

"What's wrong?" Her brow furrowed and she pouted, her blue eyes meeting with red that darted away. Heine focused on something behind and towards the left of her.

"It's nothing. I just…" He paused looking for the right words; Nill gently cupped his cheek, lightly rubbing it with her thumb before tugging his head towards her lap. He hesitated, but still laid down nonetheless. He looked out towards the center of the church one arm outstretched, the other tucked in close to him. She rubbed his head, her fingers running through his surprisingly soft, white mess of spikes.

"It hurts." He flicked his eyes towards her.

"I know. I know it does."

"More than usual." He rolled to look up at her, folding his arms over his chest. "I can't get the smell out of my nose or the sounds out of my head. That woman's laughter, the sound of tearing flesh…"

"I understand, Heine." She moved the hair away from his eyes, still gently rubbing his head with her right hand; she rested her left on his own. "I do."

Heine knew it was true, not quite in the same way, but he knew that she had memories and a past she'd rather forget. Of men buying her, passing her around, forcing her to do things against her will, memories of sights, smells, tastes, that she could never get rid of.

It made his blood boil just thinking about it, how dare they buy and sell her, beat her, touch her, how dare they hurt her. He stared down anyone who looked at her too long and if looks could kill, the people that looked at her with nothing but lust and ill intent would be dead three times over.

At the same time, it confused him though. After all, he wasn't like Badou or Naoto. It wasn't some calling to defend children and innocents, to make evil doers beware. He internally scoffed, hell; he'd go so far as to say everyone in this city was evil in some way, especially him. But Nill, no she was pure and the closest thing to wholly good as you could possibly get without being some dead martyr, like the ones Bishop would go on about.

No it was simply a desire to protect her. The last decent thing in the entire fucked up world, and like the fucked in the head individual he is, he took that last bit of innocence and brought it to a rundown piece of shit church, in a piece of shit district. But wasn't it better than what she had?

Here at least she has friends, a fucked up "family", she didn't have to do a damn thing she didn't want to here, and she had added some semblance of normality to their chaotic life. They had something that calmed them all down, reminded them that maybe, maybe things could work out. She gave them a slight sliver of hope. But of course he took her home more so for himself than anyone else. Not at first mind you, at first he took her home out of some misguided attempt at forgiveness he would never receive. After all, murdered people don't tend to forgive their murderer, and monsters like him don't deserve to be forgiven, let alone try to achieve it.

No, at first it was about helping a kindred spirit. After all, like him, she was designed for one thing. Only instead of aggression, the ability to murder absolutely fucking everything in the goddman way and survive it all like a good boy. She was designed to be alluring to the scum of the earth, she was made for people to use her and not be able to say a goddamn word about it.

He shuddered when he thought about all the times she wanted to scream and cry but couldn't. He shuddered again when he remembered just how long she was forced into it. What kind of a sick, twisted, fucker forces a seven year old to…

Heine was torn from his thoughts when a dull throbbing formed between his eyes. Nill was tapping the bridge of his nose trying to get his attention. Or maybe she was worried that he slipped into the past for a moment.

"I'm here, don't worry."

"Okay." She smiled at him like she always did. That smile. Even he didn't know when he started to want to be around it all the time.

It disgusted him to know that he craved that smile, that he coveted his time with her. He would wait until she was free however if she was speaking with someone else at the church, if it was Bishop it usually didn't last long, Naoto could last awhile but he just sat down, a fair amount of rows between them and closed his eyes.

Of course, this was after their weird unspoken agreement with each other. If necessary they had each other's backs in a fight. Nill was to be watched by both of them, any womanly issues would be handled by her, (One of the few things that the three men agreed on was that they were glad they had a woman around for that, one that wasn't as old as Granny Liza, but then again, Nill seemed to already know how to handle all that. Still didn't mean they liked to escort her to the store and back when she bought those things.) Any other issues were Heine's duty. After all, he was made to be a tough as nails guard dog. He would fuck up anyone who tried anything. He also was the one in charge of comforting her when she couldn't sleep, something that he understood how to do the best.

They both silently agreed that Badou would teach her domestic duties. Naoto's hands were only good with a sword; needles were out of the question. And Heine could really only cook a handful of meals without needing to have it spelled out for him on the packaging.

Before their agreement, he would glare at the back of her head until she left, in which case she would glare at him on the way out, almost daring each other to try anything. It calmed him somewhat to at least know he wasn't alone in his protectiveness.

Still, there was a part of him that not only craved her smile, but craved something more. Something that made his stomach turn and bile rise up in his throat. He was very good about fighting the ugly beast down, it never posed a problem, not now, not ever. However it bothered him out to know that part of him wanted her like that, and it wasn't the age gap that made him sick. After all she was 15 now and he was only, what? Twenty-two, twenty –three tops.

Sure, he could recognize a pretty face. (Even if they terrified the ever loving fuck outta him.) And he got that even as a man who had little to no interest in carnal affairs, well sorta anyways, that he would and did occasionally daydream about things and have to take care of certain situations. Luckily for him, it wasn't nearly as bad as Badou, unfortunately for him; he had to hear about it. And unfortunately for Badou, he typically got a bloody nose from a well placed punch or kick.

But that ugly monster was curious, way to curious to find out if the rest of her was as soft as her hands. It wanted to know just what was beneath her clothing, what she felt like in his hands. It wanted to know if she could moan and actually make noise or if it was just air.

It made Heine want to throw up. Every. Single. Time. Especially when it made him think of her like that. Oh god how he wanted to gouge his eyes out or beat the shit outta himself. But he also knew that it only acted like that because, hey, it's not like there is any other woman around that he felt okay around and wasn't terrified of. (Naoto doesn't count he mused, he didn't care at all about her like that, Badou didn't think so though, but he knew.)

Another round of dull throbbing pulled him out of his thought again.

"Nill, that kinda hurts." He said scrunching his nose.

"Then stop drifting off like that." She looked concerned again.

"I'm just thinking."

"You aren't a monster." The suddenness caught Heine of guard. He nodded his head when he remembered that him drifting off thinking tend to lead Nill to assume he was thinking horrible things about himself. He wasn't thinking about that, but it reminded him that yes, he was in fact a monster.

"Sure…"

"You aren't," Nill leaned down, her golden hair cascading down like a waterfall made out of the sun. "You're just…Heine."

"And just Heine…kills everything."

"No, he doesn't, only the bad things."

"How would you know?" He didn't mean to snap at her like he did. "I…kill and hurt everything."

"No you don't, you've never killed Badou or Naoto or Bishop…And you've never hurt me." Heine's breath stopped and his hands started to sweat, a mix of fear and apprehension began to flood his body. What would have been comforting to anyone else made him freeze up and his heart race and pound against his ribcage. He felt sick, that all too familiar feeling of panic began to set in. She had never done this before, no one had.

Nill was kissing him on the cheek.

A/N So here is the first of many chapters in this tale of healing. Hopefully, no new wounds open up.

Updates will be once a week. Sometimes more if a lot of hits or reviews happen.