I sit by my Master's bedside, watching him as he sleeps. In the dim light of morning I see his complexion. He has begun to grow a beard, that, when he's awake makes him look older. When my Master is asleep, the beard makes no difference. He looks young and serene.

As I sit by his bed, I wonder. I wonder what it must have been like to train with Qui-Gon. I miss him, Obi-Wan misses him too but he tries not to show it. I did catch him crying once, the day after we returned to the Temple.

How can he hide his emotions so well? Why won't he allow them access to his face? It is hard to read my Master, but I try hard to understand him. Sometimes I get frustrated and it only gets me in trouble.

My Master is a mystery. A mystery I want to solve. I hear whispers from older Padawans then me and whispers from Knights. One of these whisperings I understand. Sith Killer is what my Master is called.

Other whisperings I do not understand. What is Melida/Daan? Who is Bruck Chun? Who is Xanatos? I want to ask my Master, but he will just say that these things are in the past. You know what I think? I think he just doesn't want to talk about these things. Maybe in the past these people hurt him.

Training to be a Jedi is hard. I find it hard to meditate. I would rather fix something. My Master doesn't seem to understand. Maybe it's because he doesn't like fixing things?

I watched him the other day duel with one of his friends. My Master won. He his very good with a lightsaber, I hope that I'll be able to be as good as he is someday.

The light streaming in the room becomes brighter, yet my Master has not yet awoken. He must be very tired. I would think he would be, he had trouble sleeping again. In my room I could hear him walking around, the whistle of a tea kettle, and the soft clink as he took a cup from a cabinet.

I fell asleep and awoke a few hours later. I sensed that my Master had gone to bed, but probing further, I saw it was not restful sleep. I went to his room, pulled up a chair and sat by him. I stroked his open palm, like my mother used to do for me, and I softly quoted a poem my mother also told me.

Soon my Master was sleeping peacefully, but I didn't leave the room. My Master says that dreams pass in time, then why does this one continue to plague him? I too have dreams, nightmares sometimes. They keep coming back. If my Master has nightmares the keep haunting him then why does he say that dreams pass in time? Is he just trying to reassure himself? Is it something his own Master had told him?

I do not understand. I do try to understand you Master, but how can I if you can't understand yourself? Perhaps I'm going to far here, yet sometimes I wonder, do you even understand yourself?

My Master, if you could just open up to me. I know I am just a kid, but I am your student. You can trust me Master, I trust you.

There are times I wish that Qui-Gon had lived. If he did then maybe I could find my answers. He's dead, and so I can't ask him. I could talk to Master Yoda, but he doesn't like me so why should he answer my questions?

I can't wait till our first mission. I know I shouldn't crave excitement but I can't help it. I am looking forward to proving myself to you Master. Will you open up if I prove to be a capable Padawan?

Still you sleep, so peaceful, so still like a pond on a calm day. I can make breakfast for us. Sleep, it is good for you.

I stand and head to the kitchen. Looking in the pantry I grab a loaf of bread and put bread in a toaster. Standing on my tiptoes I grab two plates and take them to the table. Next I get the jam and the juice, can't forget the cups. The toaster clicks and I look to see two pieces of toasted bread. I place one on each plate and then place to more in the toaster. I seal up the loaf of bread and put it away. I find the better and place it on the table. Then I pour the purple juice. The toaster clicks and I put the toast on the plates. I get the knives for the jam and butter and put them besides the plates. Taking the bowl of fruit, I set it in the center of the table.

Breakfast is ready, toast, juice, and fruit. Now all that is missing is Master. I step back to his room and find him still asleep. Funny, how he likes to pull me out of bed in the morning, yet today it is the other way around.

I glance at the calendar on the wall above Obi-Wan's desk and slowly I realize something. Today, three years ago, his Master was killed. How could I have forgotten this date? Looking back over at my Master, I see his eyes flicker open. "Breakfast is ready." I tell him.

For a moment my Master remains silent, simply gazing at me. I search his gaze, yet his eyes remain unrevealing. My mother said that a person's eyes are the windows to his soul. Not with my Master. He reveals nothing. Why won't he let me see?

My Master sits up in bed, running a hand through bedraggled hair. He says that he will be there momentarily and goes off to the refresher. He's not very talkative this morning. I walk back to the kitchen table and sit down. Now that I think about it more, have I shrugged off my Master's moods whenever this day came? Have I been paying attention?

I spread butter and jam on my toast and then bite into it. If only my Master would just talk about it. Perhaps I should ask him. Waiting for him to come to me to talk really, actually, doesn't make sense. I'll ask him after breakfast. I have a free day today so it won't be a problem.