One Last Kiss

An X-Men Fanfiction by Sassy Lil Scorpio

Disclaimer: Scott Summers, Jean Grey, and all other names mentioned in this fan-fiction are the property of Marvel Comics. The writer makes no claim of ownership. Copyright infringement is not intended.

Summary: He hated that he had to live his life without her. He would do anything to see her one last time, if it meant the pain would go away. ScottJean. X3 Spoilers

Rating: T

Author's Notes: Scott Summers is my least favorite X-Man in both the movies and comics. I've always found his character to be boring, and yet, when I saw X3, I couldn't help but feel genuine sympathy for him when he was in his room crying, during his confrontation with Logan, and especially when he saw Jean again. It's ironic that I'm writing my first X-Men fic on a character I'm not too crazy about, and yet, as I wrote this, Scott grew on me. I took some liberties with this writing as far as his character goes and his final scene in the movie, but overall, my aim is to give him justice.

oOo

When you close your eyes
Do you like what you see?
Inside your mind
And do you like to dream
About the stars above?

Dishwalla "Once In A While"

oOo

"Not everybody heals as fast as you, Logan," Scott Summers said, making no effort to disguise or hide his bitterness.

And he truly meant it.

Everyone healed quickly from Jean's death, but Scott hadn't. Everyday, every hour, every minute, every second, he had to go on without her. He would never hold her close again, hear her voice whisper in his ear, or feel the softness of her fingers touching him.

He would never kiss her again.

Jean's body had never been found. If she were laid out in a coffin, dressed in her favorite outfit, it would still grieve him—but at least, he'd be able to see her, to run his fingers through her red hair. If he saw her eyes closed and her hands folded on her stomach, he could pretend that she was fast asleep and dreaming. Dreaming of him, the first time they met, their first lunch together on the school's grounds, their first date when they tried to blend in with the human population. If he could see her one last time, even if it was just her lifeless body in a pine box, then he would be able to have some sense of closure.

Scott didn't share any of these thoughts with Logan, even though it was obvious that his heart was also sore from Jean's death. Logan cared for her, but it was not the same. He could sense Logan's puzzled stare as he walked down the hallway. Logan claimed to understand, but in actuality, he didn't understand what Scott felt. How could he? Sure, he was attracted to Jean, but other than that, there was nothing there for Logan to grasp on, except for carnal fantasies. He didn't know Jean as Scott knew her. He didn't hold Jean in his arms, know her darkest secrets, or kiss away her tears. Logan wasn't there to encourage her that her powers were a gift, and not an out-of-control manifestation to be afraid of. As far as Scott knew, he was the only one who did that for Jean. No matter what Logan thought or wished, there was no connection between them.

The other side of the coin was that Scott knew what Logan thought of him. Dull, monotonous, uninteresting, no emotion—what kind of woman as beautiful and sensual as Jean Grey would want to be hooked up with the world's most boring mutant?

No one (and definitely not Logan) ever stopped to think that Scott appeared impassive for a reason. He was among the first to be recruited by Charles Xavier. Professor X always let him know how much he expected of Scott, since he was one of the first mutants to enroll in the school. Scott was groomed to be a future leader, and to him, this meant he had no time for shenanigans. He took Professor X's words very seriously—that he was a natural-born leader.

And he took himself seriously as well; maybe too much for his own good, but now as an adult and past his teen years, it was hard to change. He had to keep his emotions in check in case of emergencies, in case he encountered situation that he could not control, in case his life or his family's lives were on the line. In this case, the X-Men were his family, and the only side they ever saw of him was the expressionless Scott Summers.

Sometimes he wondered if it also had to do with his eyes as the famous quote went: the eyes are the windows to the soul. Since no one, not even Scott himself, could see his eyes, nobody knew if his eyes twinkled with amusement, narrowed when he was angry, or drooped when he was physically and mentally exhausted from the life he led as co-leader of the X-Men.

Other than his occasional flashing of a smile, he was misunderstood to be a dull, wholesome, do-everything-he's-told-never-questioning-authority good guy. The only person who saw his human side was Jean. Once, by accident, Scott shot an optic blast at their alarm clock, destroying it. He had been dismayed until Jean came in from the bathroom and cracked up laughing. Even now he could hear her laughter in his mind, and his eyes brimmed with tears. What he'd do to hear her voice again.

He thought back to what everyone thought of him as being the quintessential hero, but uninteresting Cyclops. The good guy—Scott often scoffed at that. There were far and few times where he entertained the notion of leading his life in the opposite direction as if to prove he had life to him, but he wouldn't betray Professor X.

And he wouldn't let down Jean.

Yet, he had let her down. Scott was convinced of this as if it were a proven fact. He should've done more to save her when they were at Alkali Lake. She was the woman he loved. She was the woman he would lay his life down for, and all he could do was shout about going back for her and shedding tears—tears that he wanted nobody to see, especially Logan. When Ororo explained to him that she blocked everyone at the last moment from helping her—including Professor X—Scott didn't want to hear about it.

In the weeks following the incident, Ororo would come by his room and knock softly. She came to comfort him, but he wanted no part of it. After several minutes, she would leave, and he'd hear her soft footsteps retreat from the door. One time he had poked his head out, ready to call her back, but decided against it. He'd only end up snapping at her, even though he knew Ororo was trying to help. So he isolated himself from those who would've helped him like Ororo—and from those who reminded him of what he had once with Jean, namely Bobby and Rogue. Scott wasn't the type to be easily shaken up, but Jean's death broke him, mind and spirit. He preferred to stay locked in his room comforted by pictures and memories of Jean. He could weep in solitude and let down his guard as leader of the X-Men.

He could be human.

They had all moved on with their lives, even Professor X did. There were old threats to worry about—Magneto and Mystique—and new threats were looming over the horizon. Scott was sick of hearing about them, and tired of carrying on without Jean, but he maintained a blank façade, not revealing a single emotion.

Professor X still ran the school and would have meetings with him to discuss what he was feeling. At times, Scott wondered why Xavier wasted his time. You're a mind-reader, he wanted to shout, you should know without me telling you. He even wished that Professor X would place a mental block over the part of the brain that controlled memory, so that he wouldn't replay the events leading up to her death in his mind's eye.

He couldn't be a leader to the X-Men anymore, not after Jean's death. He knew Jean would've wanted him to stand tall and strong—and all that other inspirational bullshit. Right now, standing tall and strong was the last thing he could do.

So he left the mansion without telling anyone. It was better like that. As he got on his motorcycle, Scott wondered if anyone would wonder where he went. Probably not. He needed to go to Alkali Lake again to see if he felt her there—to see if any healing would come from standing by Jean's final resting place.

After the solitary drive on the road, Scott stood over Alkali Lake, staring at the waters as if they held the answers to what happened to Jean. She was down there, in its very depths. Where else could she be? He stared at the waters wondering if he were to shoot an optic blast at them, would he be able to see the bottom of the lake and find her there. It was a morbid thought, but he couldn't help but wonder.

He allowed his mind to wander about what Jean had seen in him. She saw him as Scott—not Cyclops—but as Scott Summers. Not a superhuman who could fight the good fight with little to no emotion, but as Scott Summers, a man who had so much in common with her, and felt blessed and frustrated at the same time with his mutant gift.

He wanted to hold her hand one last time. He longed to feel her lips against his own. Most of all, he longed to stare into her eyes—without having to worry about his optic blasts incinerating her. He wanted Jean Grey back, was that too much to ask for?

As if in reply, he heard his name being called.

"Scott."

He heard the voice—her voice—in his mind. Then, in the air, he heard Jean's voice repeating his name, echoing in the open expanse of land. A range of emotions could be heard from the voice: sad, angry, and frustrated—and all saying his name at the same time, overlapping each other as a scattered chorus of Scott. Sometimes the voice sounded choked with tears, other times, badly frightened. Whatever it was, Scott didn't like it. This wasn't the Jean he knew. Her voice was disconnected from her body; it floated around and called out to him. It was as if she her entity had become one with the air.

He screamed, desperate for the torture to end. It wasn't fair that he had to deal with the constant grief, only to be taunted by the sound of her voice calling his name. Just as quickly as he had her voice, it stopped, and the atmosphere was deathly silent. He wanted to hear from her again, but not in this manner. There was something spooky about the lake now and he was going to head back to the school, when a very strange sight caught his attention.

In the middle of Alkali Lake, the waters had collapsed downward and swirled together, forming a huge whirlpool. During the span of his lifetime, Scott had seen a lot of crazy and unusual sights that human beings couldn't describe accurately despite their attempts at scientific explanations. This was one of them—the whirlpool was gigantic and appeared to grow bigger and swish around faster, a watery black hole. He could feel energy from the whirlpool reach out to him, yearning to pull him inward, and drag him if necessary. It was as if the energy had giant invisible fingers, longing to squeeze him in its mystical grasp.

No human being could explain that. If they tried to, it'd be full of wonderment with an undeniable streak of hatred and bias that a mutie or mutant freak was making the water spin uncontrollably and rise up like a tidal wave.

Scott himself knew that only a mutant with extraordinary powers could force the waters to obey a mental command: in this case, to collapse and swirl together in an enormous whirlpool of energy. Scott went to the edge, peering over, when suddenly the water exploded upward, and he felt the energy again—it made his entire body tingle all over. He lifted his shades quickly; shooting red optic blasts as the water rose and rebelled, coming towards him with increasing power. Within seconds, the water had reached the cliff he was standing over and he was knocked flat on his back from the psychic power from within.

Groaning, Scott rose to his feet and looked around the forest and at Alkali Lake that was in front of him, calm as if nothing had taken place. He was immediately confronted by a white light so powerful that if he weren't wearing his ruby quartz shades and if not for his own mutant ability, he would've been blinded permanently. It was as if a star had fallen from the sky and hovered above Alkali Lake, its brightness radiating and making everything pearl white.

Scott could barely make out the figure of a tall slender woman coming towards him. The light receded and the figure advanced towards him, slowly, but with purpose. Scott's eyebrows rose.

It couldn't be…but it was…it was her…

Jean Grey.

This couldn't be happening. What if he were hallucinating? What if his mind was playing tricks on him and his eyes were allowing him to see something that wasn't real? What if she were a mirage that only existed because he wanted her to be alive again? Scott swallowed the nervous lump in his throat.

"Jean…"

She came forward, her red hair flowing past her shoulders, her lips pressed together. She looked the same as the day of her death except that her hair was longer…and her eyes were empty. When he looked at her eyes, it was like staring into oblivion.

His mind shouted that this was impossible, but his heart chose to believe. He had to believe for the sake of own sanity that she was alive. It was her…she had come back…the whole time she had been waiting for someone to come to Alkali Lake to release her from the stronghold of death. The Jean that stood in front of him breathed and spoke to him as if she were just as alive as the day of her death.

"I want you to take the shades off," she said. "I want to see your eyes."

Scott hesitated. Something was not right about this—and yet, it felt very right. At the same time, she knew as well as he did; that if he ever looked directly at her, she would cease to exist in less than a minute. His blasts were powerful enough to burn her to ashes.

"Don't worry…I can control it now."

She gently removed the shades and he could feel the power from inside his eyes extinguish and die away. The optic blasts had always felt like a burning sensation, as if his eyes were constantly on fire. Now the sensation was gone, but a new one was present, and it was the same one he felt when watching the lake swirl as a giant whirlpool and then rise up against him. He briefly wondered if this was the smart thing to do, to be this close to Jean, especially with this strange energy radiating from her. He blinked back the tears lingering in his eyes from seeing and having Jean in his life again. This time, these were tears of joy.

Jean was closer to him now, and he could hear her light breathing, and feel it on his cheek. For the first time, he stared at her with his own eyes and without the fear of burning her up. For the first time since she had died, Scott was overwhelmed with a peace and happiness that no man could ever explain. His eyes flicked over to her lips and she moved in a tad closer, reading his mind. Scott didn't give it a second thought; after all, Jean possessed the ability to read minds. She was an incredibly powerful telepath…more powerful than he ever expected during this brief reunion at Alkali Lake.

There was only one thing he wanted now. One thing that would take away his pain forever; and the never-ending sorrow he had experienced when he thought he had lost her. The one thing that would solidify in his mind that she was truly back was a simple passionate kiss. He would kiss her and taste her sweetness on his lips again. That's all he wanted to do before she died was have one last kiss with her, one last embrace, one last gesture to show her that he always loved and respected her. There were other ways that he could demonstrate his love for her, but right now, kissing her, holding her in his arms, would be the best thing.

Scott's heart pounded against his ribcage, threatening to break free from his body. There was nothing to be worried or nervous about. Everything would be fine, now that Jean was back again. He couldn't wait to tell Logan and Ororo—since they, along with Professor X, were the ones most deeply affected by Jean's passing, aside from Scott. She was back, and his spirit was intact and his heart was whole again. For the first time, he could look at her with his own eyes and she could look into his soul and see who he truly was.

With that final thought, Scott mustered up all the jumbled emotions he had been feeling for the past few months and passionately kissed Jean…for what would be the last time of his life.

The End