Title: A Lack of Color
Author: Phaedra's Love
Fandom: Roswell
Pairing: Liz/Tess
Disclaimer: I do now own Roswell. Sadly. Please don't sue me.
When Liz Parker dreams she only sees blacks and whites marred by the occasional shade of grey. It's been so long since she's seen colors at night sometimes she wakes in a panic, clutching her chest trying desperately to remember blues and greens and reds. The pale yellow of Tess' hair as she mumbles something unintelligible before drifting back to sleep. The brilliant robin's egg blue of Zan's eyes. She takes all of this in, her heartbeat finally returning back to it's steady haunted echo.
Liz drifts back to sleep to the fading rhythmic breathing of Tess and the gentle happy baby gurgles of Zan.
That's the worst part of being a forced prophet. The colors. The visions are so brilliant, violent kaleidescopes of reds and oranges and Liz understands exactly what's hiding around every corner. It strips away the hues of everyday life, leaving her a lackluster hero in a bottle she doesn't completely understand.
There's only one thing Liz Parker understands when she wakes up in the morning, deprived of the familiar comforts of Roswell. She understands that although Max might be dead he's left his most precious gift in her care. The king has passed but Liz stills holds on, clings desperately to the legacy he left behind. Queen Tess and Prince Zan. Key figures in an on-going epic that Liz knows should have never involved her.
The night part of her vision came true Liz stood in the doorway of the UFO Center, her slender fingers clutching Tess' hand tightly. More violent reds, blood splashed against the cold greys of concrete. When her eyes fall on Maria resting where Liz belonged she knew that she was going to leave Roswell that very night and never look back.
She headed to L.A. with Tess, then San Fransisco and lately Chicago has been the last stop in their travels. It seems nothing less than a tragedy to Liz that the only part of her old life she has to cling to is Tess. A woman who would stop at nothing to seperate her from Max, a woman who killed her best friend in cold blood. Tragic yet somehow poignant, Liz can't help but think. They are bonded not only by their shared secret but Liz's love for Max and Tess' for her son.
Where Tess lacks in humanity she makes up for in honest need. It's the most pure emotion Liz has ever seen on her former rival. Always an apology dangling from the tip of her tongue, Liz can see it in her crystal eyes. Can feel it in her cool fingertips as they travel her flesh in the dark. Tess needs so completely, so deeply it nearly consumes her. It's the third invisible ghost that sleeps between them. Nestled securely somewhere between Max and Nasedo.
They never stop running. City after city and eventually they all begin to blur into the shadowy murky grey that Liz has become so accustomed to. Even the visions begin to dull and sometimes Liz thinks Tess might just be right. She's not an alien, she shouldn't have ever had any of these powers. In point of fact, she should be another smiling co-ed on Harvard's spawling lawns by now. Not running from everyone in a uniform, not running straight into her enemy's arms.
It's for Zan's sake, that's the lie she tells herself. No. It's for Max's sake. She's keeping his memory alive by protecting his son, by finding cold comfort with Tess. And when that lie seems far-fetched she tells herself that it's because of the powers. Tess is the only one who understands even a little bit of what she's going through and if Tess is the only thing left Liz doesn't plan on leaving her.
She tries not to compare Tess to Max, which is difficult considering the circumstances she finds herself saddled with. She's gentle, Max was too but he was actually trying. That's the greatest difference between the two of them. Tess never tries. Despite her dedication to resisting her own humanity, it creeps in. There's a delicacy in Tess and Liz is sure she's the only one who ever sees it. It's in everything from the way her fingertips gently touch the fabric of her forest colored scarf to the tilt of her pale chin and the glimmer of her pink lips. It's in the flashes of purples and oranges that fly past her vision when their mouths collide.
It's not long before they're caught again. It's never long. Sometimes Liz can see it happening before it actually does but the surprise never fades away. The fact is once upon a time Liz Parker was going to be a physicist. Now she's a fugitive and the farther she runs the harder she falls.
It's okay though. Tess is always there to pick her back up before they run headfirst into the next shadowy grey.