Author's note. This was inspired by my brother's success with "Things Not To Do On Atlantis", and my own craziness.

This starts in season 1, around the end of Rising

I don't own Stargate Atlantis, or anything related to it.

A mysterious person had taken one of the whiteboards from McKay's lab, and positioned it in the mess hall along with a box of dry-erase markers.

McKay was displeased, as seen by the first message.

"If I find who superglued the whiteboard to the floor, I'll make him…."

The rest had been erased- added was "Remember what Dr. Weir said about harassing the staff!"

"Especially when she might read it."-Dr. Weir

I shall not tell an Athosian that bantos rods look dumb.

Written fifty times and signed Lt. I-Have-a-Concussion

Only stand between Dr. weir and her coffee if you're the type of person who likes standing between a mother bear and her cubs - anonymous

If you find yourself in such a situation, immediate and rapid change on temporal and spatial coordinates is recommended.

Zelenka! Stop confusing the mortals!

Do not let McKay save the day! He becomes unbearably smug! - Sheppard

To the person who left the bowling ball on the jumper-bay door. The dent is not appreciated – Sheppard

Weir is Stupid

Weir is Dumb

Weir doesn't know how to add 1+1.

The bad poem was partially erased by something.

Thank you, major – Dr. Weir

Getting to rub Kavanagh's face in his stupidity? Anytime, doc - Sheppard

Do not us an Athosian lighter on someone's cigar.

You may light their hair!

Someone swiped my last chocolate bar! - Anonymous

I ate it! - Anonymous

An array of choice words was pointed at Anonymous. Which one? We are left to assume.

A single word written in ancient. Below was written a translation that clarified – and the whiteboard would be better off being eaten by wraith than having another Athosian trip over it.

Someone had started a game of tic-tac-toe. X won. O swore. X hid the marker.

1+1=3. Do not erase these calculations- they prove the world exists, and spontaneous failure of reality to exist may result from their erasure.

Zelenka, stop trying to mess with people's heads!- McKay

Attention everyone- there is a large stash of Jell-o in Sheppard's quarters- anonymous

ANONYMOUS WILL BE PUNISHED! - Sheppard

No more posts till tomorrow, when I find out where X hid all the markers- Sheppard

If we don't have anything to write with, how are we writing? - Anonymous