: If Only I Knew:
Ch.1 revise
Author's Note: This is sort of different then from the show, because Millardo never died and Endless Waltz never happened. The Gundams were locked up and no one was supposed to see or use them again…or so our heroes hoped. I hope you like it.
Relena was busy finishing all her paper work, when there was a knock on the door.
"Come in," she said without looking up.
"Sorry to have bothered you Miss Relena, but someone's here to see you. I told him you did not wish to see anyone, but he refused to leave. I would call security, but I have a feeling that you might want to speak to him," said her secretary, Missy Peterson.
"I told you; I'm really busy right now and cannot be bothered unless it's a life or death crisis," she answered without looking up from her work. At a young age, Relena Peacecraft has taken on the job as Vice Foreign Minister. Her brother, Millardo Peacecraft, has disappeared with Noin during the last battle aboard Libra. No one knows that happened to them. Rumor has it that he's dead, but the truth is still to be seen.
"Yes, Miss Relena, but…but…um…"
Relena was getting impatient; while the person who was waiting outside to see her was also getting impatient, so he decided to just go in, whether she likes it or not. He pushed past the secretary as Relena looked up. Her face twisted with shock. She sat there speechless. What do you say or do when the person whom you love suddenly appears in front of you after months of not seeing or hearing from him?
She didn't know how she did it, but she managed to say, "Hello."
"…" came from the antisocial, quiet soldier. He just stood there staring at her with his beautiful Prussian blue eyes.
In a calm and professional voice, which took her awhile to find, she asked, "Can I help you?" She hoped her voice did not reveal her emotion. She was scared, yet curious and excited at the same time.
Still, "…" from the perfect soldier.
The secretary, who was still in the room, decided to leave this awkward situation before she witness something that she should; however, not before she handed Relena a couple more big, heavy folders that needs her revising and signatures—all 100 files, in addition to the ones on her desk, are all due tomorrow at 0800 sharp.
'She's going to be up late again.' Shaking her head vaguely, she thought to herself, 'If only her brother would be thoughtful enough to at least show up and help her, then she wouldn't be so stress with paperwork.' Relena wasn't paying attention to the pile of papers, so she didn't see the concern looked on her secretary's face.
As soon as the secretary left, Heero went to one of the chairs in front of Relena's desk and sat down.
Even though she has only known Heero for a couple of months, she felt like she could understand him as if she has known him all her life. If he wanted to say something to her he would, but it has to be on his term. If he didn't feel like talking, she can't get anything out of him even if she threatened to shoot him.
They sat staring at each other for a couple of minutes until Heero finally broke the silence.
"I need to tell you something," his tone icy cold like always. He didn't know what to say next. His feelings for her were something still foreign to him. He is still trying to figure some of it out himself.
He didn't know whether to tell her the truth or lie and break her heart again; however, what is the truth? 'Why did I come here? What would her react be like once I tell her? If I tell her won't she hate me for leaving her the last time?' Questions of doubt popped into his head, like shooting bullets.
All Relena could do was stare into that Prussian blue eyes of his and felt lost all over again. She let her eyes wonder down to his lips. 'I wonder what it's like to kiss him?'
Heero caught himself starring at her too. Her shiny brown hair and her beautiful blue starry eyes. He wants be lost in it once again.
Suddenly, he looked away, startle at his feelings.
Relena knew something was up, but she still remain silence, waiting for him to tell her.
"Relena…I…" He just couldn't say it. This was an impossible mission for him.
"Yes?" She asked calmly, but really her heart was about to jumped out of her chest.
After a while of silence, he said, "I…want to tell you that I'll be leaving again."
Relena did not know what to say, so she remained quiet. She looked down at her desk because she didn't want him to see the tears building in her eyes.
"I want to start over. Have a normal life. No more fighting," he continued.
"I see," she managed to say.
Heero got up to leave, although he really wasn't finished with what he was saying, but he just didn't know how to ask her. She is the Vice Foreign Minister, the one who maintain peace for Earth and the Colonies; they need her more than he, but in his heart that was not true. He did need her more than anything, more than his life. He couldn't just ask her to leave with him. That was being too conceited. He stopped half way to the door with his back towards her. Relena came up from behind and hugged him. Her arms circle around his waist. His hands longed to hold those hands, but he resisted the urge and stood perfectly stilled.
"Don't leave", she whispered, still holding on. She didn't want to let go, fearing that he would leave her forever. You just never know with Heero Yuy, he can be here one minute and gone the next.
"I'm sorry…I have to go." This was harder than he thought. He had come here to tell her that he loves…no, care for her, but only to change his mind and leave her.
If Relena wasn't facing his back, she would have saw the sad look in his eyes that was only there for a brief second before that was replace once again with the unemotional mask.
He gently pulled himself away from her and she reluctantly let go of him. She didn't know what to do as the person whom she loves the most was going to leave her again. She couldn't watch him go again. Finally, she looked up to say….something, but he was gone.
"I love you, you big idiot," she whispers to no one.
Disclaimer: Gundam wing don't belong to me, but to its creators.