Disclaimer: Only in a dream would I own LotR. and then since my own had is never entirely on my side it would be ruined with flying monkeys or something
Elrond looked back towards the shores of the Grey Havens with a mix of sadness and joy. Middle-earth was all the home he had ever known and it pained him to know he was leaving his daughter behind forever. But he also knew that his beloved wife would be healed and waiting for him when the ship weighed anchor on the shores of the Undying Lands.
Looking at the faces of his companions, he knew his sentiments were shared. The destroying of the One Ring had taken a toll on all of the Ringbearers. In two weeks they would all be going home.
Three Weeks Later
"I don't know how much more I can take of this," Elrond moaned to himself, slowly rocking back and forth.
For two weeks there had been no wind to carry the ship to Valinor. For two weeks Elrond had suffered through incessant Hobbit chatter, a permanent cloud of pipe smoke and the sight of his in-laws … making out. It was getting to be more than he could take and Cirdan certainly wasn't helping any. His whole attitude towards this situation was "suck it up Princess".
As it wore on to high noon and the day became hotter and hotter, Elrond came closer and closer to his breaking point. The chatter seemed to increase, the smoke more volumous and was it just him or was Galadriel and Celeborn getting closer to him every kiss. Finally it became too much.
"Enough," cried Elrond. Everyone froze as that one word echoed throughout the sea.
Elrond stood with fists clenched, eyes bulging, breathing heavily as he stared at each passenger.
"I have had enough. Dignity be damned, I will stand it no longer. I have endured two weeks of this insanity." He turned to the Hobbits; "I do not care to hear whether of not you think turn a spit to the left will enhance the flavour of a chicken better than turning it to the right. Nor do I are which particular spoons Lobelia Sackville-Baggins took from your collection. One more word from either of you and I will gag you and tie you to the bow of the ship as an ornament. And you," he said pointing at Gandalf, "I allowed you to smoke in Rivendell as long as you did not offend anyone with the smell of the smoke. What on Middle-earth makes you think that I want you to smoke it for two windless weeks straight in the middle of the sea? You had better feel lucky that I do not throw that pipe weed overboard! And of course my Lord and Lady, why would anyone, much less your son-in-law want to see you making out. Especially when you use tongue!
Although Elrond had felt much better about getting that all off his chest, the others were not so thrilled. As Elrond turned to look at the sea, five very miffed passengers ambushed him.
Another Week Later
Many Elves gathered on the shores of Aman. A from Middle-Earth was sighted not one day ago on the horizon. Amongst the crowd was Celebrian, daughter of Celeborn and Galadriel and wife of Elrond Half-elven. Brimming with excitement as she eagerly awaited the arrival of her family. As it approached, the crowd could see clearer detail of the vessel and Celebrian's eyes grew wide with shocked as she beheld her husband gagged and bound to the bow of the ship!
A/N: reviews are alays accepted. hint hint.