I've been a fan of Gossip Girl since the beginning and I've always had a thing for Chuck Bass. Since Chuck and Blair are at war, I decided to write how one of their battles takes place. I got inspired by the whole cherry pie idea during episode 4x05. The writers are geniuses when it comes to Ed Westwick's lines. I plan for this to be a one-shot but who knows I might be inspired by another line from Mr. Bass in the future. Please review!

I do not own Gossip Girl

Sweet Cherry Pie

Blair sat at her vanity and finished brushing on some light pink blush. Her chocolate locks fell gracefully down her back and contrasted greatly with her new sky blue sundress she bought while in Paris. She could hear the guests downstairs enjoying the tea and pastries she had Dorota set out for her little get together today. Now that she finally was a student at Columbia, Blair wanted to make sure she did everything to get her status to the top and establish herself as queen of Columbia. Having small parties at her and Serena's place for all the wannabee Waldorf's will surely help her to achieve her reign.

Columbia represented Blair's true identity and also stood as Blair's fortress against that motherchucker Chuck Bass. Of course Blair didn't mind battling Chuck in a war, it was his promise that scared her. Well, scared her a little. Blair put down the blush and stared into the mirror at her reflection, but it wasn't her reflection she saw. In her dreams and even in the mirror that stood in front of her, she dreamt and saw nothing but Chuck's sorrowful face the night he declared war. He looked so hurt and angry. It seemed as though his face and attitude morphed back into the man he was three years ago. The bad boy of the upper east side. The one who stopped at nothing to get what he wanted. Blair had been waiting in the shadows for Bass to make his move, but still after one week, not one strike had been struck.

"Ms. Blair," Dorota said from the other side of her bedroom door, "all guests are here but we have a problem." A problem during her first Saturday minion session, this could not happen! If the guests downstairs were possible followers, no problems could arise today and make her look like a total idiot.

"What is it Dorota?" Blair asked as she opened the door. When she opened the door, Dorota held a pie in her hands and had a strange look on her face. "Why are you standing there with a pie in your hands? You should be catering to my guests." "Okay Ms. Blair," she said laying the pie on the floor in front of Blair's door. "Dorota! Don't leave pies sitting outside of my do-". At that moment Blair realized what the problem was and started to get confused.

She walked a couple more steps out of the hallway careful to watch her step near the cascading staircase. She looked down and saw Serena and a couple of her now hired minions staring back up at her pies in hand. "Blair?" Serena asked, "Why did you order five hundred pies from the bakery?"

Blair grudgingly turned her head to the living room and saw that every surface and even some of the floor was covered in pies. All of her guests acted confused and looked up at Blair waiting for her to answer Serena's liable question. Blair didn't even remember telling Dorota to order pies for her party today. This is the upper east side not the midwest. She had no idea where the pies came from so she answered the question like any young presentable woman would, "Oh the silly bakery must have confused my order. I meant to order five delicious coconut pies not five hundred!" She ended her statement with a small but likable giggle. Everyone seemed to laugh about the events and continued on with their conversations like the pies weren't even there.

After the attention was off of her, Blair practically ran down the stairs towards Serena and her minions. "Why the hell are there five hundred pies at my party!" she yelled to the girls. "Didn't you just say there was a mess up in your order," minion number one stated. "No genius that was a cover up!" Blair yelled at the girl, "I'm Blair Waldorf not June Cleaver! And I don't even like coconut pies which you should already know if you were a descent minion!" The girl stepped back while the other minion spoke up, "It's not coconut pie, or even good pie at that. It's cherry pie." "What does it matter what kind it is...," Blair suddenly flashed back to a certain text she received this morning. The text read "I almost forgot how much I used to enjoy your pie". She thought it was just a perverted text from Chuck but now she realized what it meant.

"Serena come here," she said quickly grabbing Serena's elbow. "Ow Blair! What?" "Chuck's behind this." "Why would Chuck send you a busload of pies?" "We're at war Serena! It probably has some hidden message behind it. He is one sneaky son of a bitch." "Okay...um...I got nothing," Serena said holding up the pie close to her face, "It looks okay to me." "I just don't get it," Blair said to herself, "This isn't even funny."

Serena shrugged and her and Blair looked around the room and saw that everyone was having a good time. Many of them had even got Dorota to cut some of the pies and serve them. "Just don't worry Blair," Serena said grabbing a fork and taking a bite of the pie herself, "it's just pie. It could be worse."

Blair left Serena with the blonde bimbo named Leah and walked into the hallway by the elevator pondering about the situation. As she leaned against the wall next to the elevator, she could hear the shaft of the elevator making its way up to her penthouse. She figured it was another future minion making her way up so she stood in front of the doors with a smile and waited for the doors to open. When they finally opened, the devil himself was standing in front of her. "My my Waldorf, you seem happy to see me," Chuck said with a smirk on his face. "What the hell is this Chuck," she said motioning towards the living room filled with pies. "May I remind you Blair that we're in a war," he said walking passed her like he owned the place. "How is this a strike?" Blair asked as she followed him, "It can't even be considered a prank it's so lame." "Oh I think it'll be considered much more than a prank once all of these pathetic loser's digestive systems start working."

He had the look of Satan in his eyes and Blair knew something was up. "What did you do Bass?" "Come on Blair," Chuck said leaning towards her until his lips brushed her ear, "I'm used to you taking it fast, not slow." A shiver went through her body and she knew he had the power over her to make her feel a certain way even if she hated it. "Let's just say brownies would have been too obvious," he said.

Chuck picked up a pie and jammed his finger into it until a small piece broke off. He held the piece up and said, "There's nothing like sweet cherry pie," and then licked the piece off his finger. "Are you insane!" Blair yelled as she finally figured it out. "I'm Chuck Bass," he said with a shrug. "Pot pies! All of these girls are going to be as high as a fucking kite in a matter of minutes!" "Yeah they will be. But hey, at least you won't have to worry about that whole new minion selection process. Once these girls finally come off of the deep end, they're not going to want to follow a druggy. And that's not even the best part Waldorf." Blair was fuming inside. She had an image to uphold.

"And what is that Chuck?" she asked through pursed lips. "I don't even have to go around telling anyone what you did, nor do these girls. Gossip girl will take care of that." While Chuck walked over to a red haired girl clearly putting his moves on her, Blair raced to find Serena for help.

Luckily Serena's system had an immunity to most drugs after her days of partying, so when she found her she acted fine or as fine as Serena can act. "The pies are filled with pot," Blair whispered into Serena's ear. "Pot pie? Like chicken pot pie. That's clever." "Just make sure no one else eats any of the pie." "What are you going to do?" "I'm going to filet me a bass."

Blair found Chuck nuzzling up to the redhead and pulled him off of her by grabbing his tie, "Kitchen now!" "If you wanted to play rough all you had to do was ask!" he said once the kitchen door closed. Blair sighed and turned and saw that there were more pies on the countertop. "Columbia is my turf," she said ignoring the presence of the pies, "Stop screwing with it!" "I said no limits Blair. This is nothing compared to what I'm willing to do. This is for my own amusement. Taking away your army of pathetic followers is the first on my very long list of punishments for you." It turned and started walking towards the door. "What the hell am I supposed to do with five hundred pies!" When he reached the door, he turned and started towards Blair, "We all know you won't eat them," he said with a wink as he started back towards the door. "You bastard!" Blair yelled grabbing a pie and throwing it a Chuck's back.

The cherry insides splattered all over his tailored Armani suit. He reached his hand behind his back and pulled some of the crust of his jacket. "You bitch," he said grabbing a chunk of pie with his fist and flinging it towards Blair. It landed right on Blair's chest permanently staining her new Parisian sundress. For the next several minutes, Blair and Chuck grabbed every pie in the kitchen and smashed it into each others face and all over the other's clothes.

Meanwhile, Serena had called Nate to help with the round up of the pot pies. After the two had finally helped Dorota bag the pies up, they headed for the kitchen to trash some more pies. Before they opened the door, sounds of ramming into cabinets and pie pans hitting the floor escaped the kitchen. Fortunately the music playing in the living room covered up the sounds. "Chuck and Blair fighting," Nate said. "Yep," Serena answered.

Moments later Chuck opened the door and appeared as though he had just dove into a giant cherry pie. Blair came out behind him with the same appearance. "It's so on!" Blair yelled after Chuck, "You ruined my dress and I'm all sticky!" "You ruined my suit, and it's not the first time I made you sticky!" Nate and Serena giggled while Blair gave them both a quick glare. "Get out Chuck!" "My pleasure," he said trying to pull pie out of his hair as he left. "Serena make sure everyone leaves in an appropriate mind set. Just tell them the pies were bad and if they figure out what really happened then so be it."

Blair carefully made her way to the stairs without no one seeing her in the condition she was in. Nate held the bag as Serena dropped some pies into it, "I at least thought they would have had hate sex," Nate said. "Me too," Serena said. Seconds later, Serena's phone beeped and Nate put the bag down so she could read it, "So it seems B's rise to the high life at Columbia involves some cherry pie. But be careful, it isn't just any cherry pie. You just might take a swirly visit to the high life yourself. Who knew B was such a druggy? XOXO Gossip Girl

Hope you liked it! If you did or even if you didn't please review ! -T. Jones