Notice: I do not own anything that involves Tenchi Muyo, whether it be the animes, mangas, movies, video games, merchandising, or whatever else. If I did, then why would I be writing a fanfiction based on it?
Author's Note: Tenchi and Ryoko are probably my favorite couple within the realm of anime and manga. The two are absolutely adorable together, and their combined behavior is fascinating. I am unable to resist smiling whenever Ryoko vivaciously flirts with her exasperated Tenchi, nor am I unable to laugh whenever Tenchi must assume the task of mitigating Ryoko's erratic, passionate behavior. Fanfiction has unified the two many times, and I have spent many hours enjoying the exploits of the couple when written by talented authors. However, I gradually became tired of TR tales, though this is nobody's fault but my own. I had simply read too many of the TR stories, thus exhasuting all the plots, characters, motifs, etc. Everything started to seem old to me, so I read other types of fanfiction for awhile. However, the force of Ryoko and Tenchi eventually pulled me back in. I eventually decided that I should contribute a TR yarn of my own, yet I wanted to make mine unusual and memorable all at the same time. Hopefully, I have done so with "Hell Hath No Fury". The theme of love is within it, but so is the concept of revenge and the latter is actually stronger than the former. I can only hope that the result of all my work is a TR story that is both refreshing and entertaining.
HELL HATH NO FURY
CHAPTER I: THE SICK BOY
"Lord Tenchi, are you sure you're not feeling up to traveling to Jurai with us?" Akaeka asked as she walked alongside Tenchi and Sasami to a special Jurian ship ready to transport the two princesses. "You know you're always welcome on Jurai if you choose to come visit."
"Thank you Miss Akaeka, but I'm don't think I'd be much fun to be around in my current condition." Tenchi said with a grateful smile. "But believe me, if it wasn't for this darn flu I'd definitely tag along with you two."
"Ah, but Tenchi, Jurai will be no fun without you!" Sasami said with a pout.
"I'm sure you two will have a blast." Tenchi said to Sasami with a reassuring smile, despite suffering a horrible headache at that exact moment. "And besides, this senatorial summit of yours is a very important occasion. It'd be improper if you two didn't attend."
"Well, I suppose so…" Ayeaka said uncertainly. "But it wouldn't be so bad if we weren't leaving you with… with her!" At this, she shot a look of resentment back at the Masaki house, and Tenchi immediately knew who she was speaking of.
"Miss Ayeaka, you have absolutely nothing to worry about." Tenchi said, still with that cheerful smile on his face. "Dad, Grandpa, Washu, Mihoshi, Kiyone and Ryo-Oki will all be here, so there's no chance of Ryoko trying to take advantage of me."
Tenchi did not like lying to anyone in his family, but this time he had to make an exception to the rule. The truth was, all but one of these people would be absent from the Masaki household while Tenchi was recovering from his flu and Ayeaka and Sasami were at Jurai for the week. Noboyuki would be in Tokyo, attending the Porno Convention, which he claimed was business purposes only. Grandpa would also be in Tokyo, visiting an old friend of his and staying at his place. Mihoshi and Kiyone were still on duty, and would not be around for the next month or two. Sure, Ryo-Oki would still be around the house, but Ryoko probably already bribed her with carrots to stay out of the way.
Being alone with Ryoko while weakened to the extent he was frightened Tenchi, but being stuck with both Ayeaka and Ryoko? There'd be NO way he could heal while the two blew up the house daily with their arguments. He'd much rather prefer to be cornered by a horny Ryoko than to stare at a bill for house repairs, while sneezing out wads of mucus.
A ramp extended from the ship and it's door opened. Tenchi led both Ayeaka and Sasami to it, hoping to Kami that nothing would occur now that would prevent them from leaving.
"Lord Tenchi" Ayeaka said as she stepped onto the ramp. "If anything should happen here, anything at all, you'll let us know, won't you?"
I sincerely doubt it. Tenchi thought. Now please go, now, before she appears!
"Sure I will, Miss Ayeaka." Tenchi said. "Although I really doubt that anything of significance will happen around here. I'll probably just lounge around, and wait for this flu of mine to pass."
Yes, now please leave. Go. Hurry!Tenchi thought nervously. The sooner these two were gone, the faster he could get back to resting and not worrying about the house standing.
"Well, all right then." Ayeaka said, both still looking uncertain. "We'll see you in about a week then."
"Bye Tenchi!" Sasami said as she walked up the ramp and into the open door. "Hope you're better when we get back!"
"Same here Sasami! Have fun!" Tenchi said. Leave! Please!
Ayeaka continued walking up the ramp, but stopped at look at him, still with an expression of worry. Then she turned her gaze to the house, holding it for a few seconds. Without a word she turned back round and entered the ship.
It took only around fifteen seconds for the ship to take off and leave, and once it was out of sight, Tenchi released a large sigh of relief. It felt like a huge weight had been taken off his shoulder, and it pleased him immensely to know that he had a much better chance of recuperating now.
Still, there was Ryoko…but she wouldn't take advantage of him in his condition, would she?
Would she?
Nah.Tenchi thought dismissively to himself. Ryokomay be… well, assertive, but she wouldn't stoop that low. I know she wouldn't.
With this confident thought in mind, Tenchi began the walk back to his home, looking forward to some much needed rest. Along the way though, he could not rid himself of the fear and doubt that remained at the back of his brain.
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The moment Tenchi entered his room, he fell stomach first onto his bed and did not move for the next few seconds. Truth be told, he felt terrible. His head was pounding, his throat was raw, his nose was runny yet dry, and nearly all the bones in his body ached.
How did this happen?Tenchi thought miserably. I'm in good shape. I eat right. I barely ever get sick. So why is this fever so bad?
Tenchigroaned. He had no answers to his questions, and didn't expect to receive any. All he knew was that he was very, very sick, and the more rest he received, the better. Knowing this, Tenchi lifted himself up (much to the complaint of his sore body), and undressed himself to his boxers. There was a chance that Ryoko might see him like this, but screw it, he really didn't care at the moment. He just wanted to sleep and escape this agony.
Finished, Tenchi walked over to his window and drew the shades, tightening them until barely any sunshine penetrated his room. Then he crawled into bed, drew the covers over himself and prepared for a long deserved rest.
"Ohhhhh, Tenchiiii…"
Please God, not now.
He knew who that voice belonged to. There was no mistaking it, with that mixture of devotion and lust hanging off of every word. She was here, and now his chances of sleep were threatened unless he acted, and fast.
What to do, what to do, what to do! Tenchi thought frantically. Wait! Fall asleep! She won't do jack if she thinks you're not awake!
Tenchi relaxed his closed eyelids, and turned over in his "sleep", away from his intruder, while making some fake mumbling sounds.
"Oh, you're asleep, are you?" The same voice said, but now much more mischievous. "That's good. That means you won't be embarrassed while I… examine your condition."
Tenchi didn't see her smile, but he didn't need to. He could feel it. He could feel how sly it was, how dangerous, and how much it offered him. Tenchi knew her and her emotions to be of an extreme variety; when she was happy she was happy, but when she angry then the Earth was in danger of being destroyed. As much as Tenchi admired her, he also feared her, especially when she was like this, obsessed and sultry.
In truth, Tenchi was very attracted to her, and did not mind when she came on to him. If it had just been the two of them all the time, he would have welcomed her flirting and teasing, and probably would have done some himself. But with everyone else around, and chaos sure to fly if she became too close to Tenchi, he had always tried to defuse the situations, always with the fear of complete loss of control from everyone involved. Sadly, that same fear stuck with him, even when alone with her. This occasion was no exception.
"Wait! Wait! Stop!" Tenchi shouted, springing up from his position. "I'm awake! I'm awake!"
Tenchi crawled frantically over to his lamp, and switched it on. There Ryoko stood, a satisfied smirk etched across her face, with her arms folded over one another. It was obvious now that she knew he was asleep all along, but teased him for the fun involved. Tenchi knew that Ryoko wanted him, but also knew that she didn't mind embarrassing the hell out of him along the way.
Tenchi was ready to play his role in the usual game: he would kindly ask Ryoko to leave, yet she would turn the request around, insinuating that he wanted some "alone time" with her.
"Aww, is my poor Tenchi sick?" She cooed playfully while climbing onto his bed. "A little bit under the weather, huh?"
"Ryoko, please-"Tenchi started.
"Please what, Tenchi? Please leave you all by your lonesome?" Ryoko slyly said, trailing her forefinger up Tenchi's chest. "Oh Tenchi, now how could I do that? I couldn't possibly abandon you in your state!"
Ryoko gripped Tenchi's with the hand of her flirtatious forefinger, leaned in, and then whispered, "Maybe its time for the good nurse to give you her medicine."
It would be a bold lie to say that Tenchi was not tempted by this offer, as his bleeding nose (among some other actions taken without his consent by his body) confessed his eagerness. However, the sensation of feeling another unwelcome substance dripping down his nose forced him back into reality. With a regretful sigh, he gently pushed Ryoko back.
"Ryoko" He said wearily. "Look at me. Would you really want to do it like this?" Ryoko re-examined him. His skin was pale, his eyes were bloodshot, and there were dark bags under his eyes. The blood dripping from his nostril (a trait that Ryoko usually found hysterical) was also mingling with some thick, green mucus.
OK, so maybe now wasn't the best time.
Ryoko closed her eyes, and sighed dejectedly, but then opened them and smiled kindly at Tenchi. "All right then, my Tenchi." She said warmly. "We'll save that for another time. In the meantime is there anything I can do for you?"
OK, who are you, and what have you done to Ryoko? Tenchi thought, a bit taken aback. Sure, Ryoko was often willing to help Tenchiin any way she could, but she usually did so with the implication that they would both wind up in the sack afterward. This time though, there appeared to be no coyness, no lust, and no ulterior motive. Instead, there was… maturity.
"What are you after, Ryoko?" Tenchi asked, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.
"What? Nothing! Nothing at all!" Ryoko exclaimed, looking stunned and waving her hands in front of her chest for emphasis. "I just want to help you is all!" Ryoko was not through, and turned her plea of innocence into a guilt trip. "Do you really think of me so badly, Tenchi?" She asked, giving him the most pitiful hound dog eyes she could muster. "After all we've been through? After all we've shared? Do you still think of me as that-"
"OK, OK, OK!" He interjected. "I believe you, alright? But there's nothing you can really do for me right now other than-" Tenchi was the one interrupted this time, and by the growl of his hungry stomach.
Oh no. He thought.
Neither said anything for a brief moment, and allowed the silence of the moment to seep a deep sense of anxiety into Tenchi. Ryoko then stood up from the bed, a grin of promising mischief etched across her face. "Hungry, are we?" She purred.
"Ryoko…no…I'm not-" Ryoko left Tenchi in midsentence, phasing herself through the floor. Down below, Tenchi could hear her rustling in the kitchen, and the clangs of pots and pans as she scurried about.
The boy was in a panic. Tenchi truly appreciated the fact that Ryoko was attempting to comfort him, yet he also knew that her cooking was the equivalent of biochemical warfare. The first time she had tried to cook, the unlucky consumers of her meal became delusional and convinced that goats were chewing off their skin. The second time was no better, for Ryoko's pancakes had somehow mutated into a living organism that screeched wildly until finally put out of its misery by its creator's energy sword. Her third and last attempt at the culinary arts resulted in the EPA evacuating everyone within a 50 mile radius of the house.
So yes, obviously Tenchi was not looking forward to his upcoming lunch. Just as he was wondering whether he could leap out of his window without breaking both legs, Ryoko abruptly phased back through the floor, armed with a plate of what appeared to be omelets. "Lunch is ready!" She happily chirped as she shoved the plate in front of him.
Tenchi shifted his eyes from the surprisingly normal looking omelets to the proud and beaming face of the cook. His eyes went back to the omelets that still looked normal, and then glanced once more at the face that was still proud and that was still beaming. The third time of changing his eye view resulted in seeing the same ordinary eggs, but now also seeing the increasingly agitated look of the impatient nurse.
OK, let's review the consequences of both choices here. Tenchi thought to himself If I eat this food, I may die a horrible and excruciatingly slow death.
Of course, Ryokocould keep me alive and torture me until she decides when to kill me.
Logic not so calmly in mind, Tenchi took a pair of chopsticks from the plate, lifted a morsel of egg with them, and placed it into his mouth. Ryoko smiled wildly in suspense, and Tenchi chewed while dread crawled under his skin. But instead of tasting the acrid flavors of undercooked yolk and burnt egg white, it tasted… it tasted good!
"Oh my God, Ryoko!" Tenchi said, now beginning to shovel the food into his mouth. "This is great!"
"It is?! You mean it?!" Ryoko asked exuberantly.
"I do! This is delicious!" Tenchi said, barely stifling a moan as the intoxicating taste of cheese and mushroom pleasured his tongue.
Ryoko could barely contain her euphoria, and her grin stretched to it's limits as Tenchi continued to scarf his gourmet meal. When he had finished, he set the plate on his bedside, and then leaned back into his bed smiling contentedly.
"Thank you, Ryoko." He said kindly and sincerely. "That was wonderful. I'm sure it'll go a long way in helping me recover."
If Tenchi's hearing was better, he would have been able to detect the sound of Ryoko's heart beating wildly in sheer bliss. The former space pirate may have trekked the entire known universe, and may have stolen many priceless treasures, but it was this simple sign of gratitude from her beloved that she cherished above all.
"Is there anything else you'd like, Tenchi?" she asked excitedly, hoping to continue this fortunate streak of luck.
"Oh no, that's fine, Ryoko. You've already--"
"Looks like your pillow could use some fluffing!" Ryoko declared over Tenchi's polite dismissal. Before the sick boy could protest, she grabbed him from his back, and propped him up. She then took his pillow, thumped it accordingly, placed it in it's original location, and lightly pushed Tenchi back.
"Better?" she asked enthusiastically.
"Uh…yeah. Thanks." Tenchi said. He could not deny that it was now more comfortable, but was starting to become uneasy with is friend's servitude. Ryoko's intentions were flattering, but he knew that she had a tendency to become "excited", and this "excitement" usually led to severe property damage. Aside from that little dilemma, he was not used to such assistance, and did not want to burden her with requests and favors.
"Is there anything else I can get for you?" she asked, almost pleading.
Then againTenchi thought to himselfI guess it wouldn't hurt Ryoko to do a few things for me. I am sick after all…
"As a matter of fact, there is. Do you think you could please bring me some tea?" Tenchi asked.
"You got it!" Ryoko said, and she phased through the floor before Tenchi could say anything else.
Tenchi stretched a bit in her absence, and decided to ignore the guilt attempting to wrap around his heart. Don't beat yourself up, Tenchi he thought. You deserve some R and R. Besides, its not like you're going to run her ragged.