A.N.: This is a really dark fic. That's all the warning I'm going to give you. I don't want to give away too much. I just got tired of the usual "The reason why Jack is such a manwhore is he only wants a relationship with Will" theory. I mean, it's good. Completely plausible. But it just gets old. So, here's my explanation.

-Li.

"As a rapturous voice escapes

I will tremble a prayer

And I'll beg for forgiveness."

-AFI

"It's hard to wake up

When the shades have been pulled shut.

This house is haunted

It's so pathetic,

It makes no since at all."

-Blink182

"This is the sound of poisons,

The Sickness no one knows."

-Shriekback

Present Day Jack's POV

His name is Juan (Or Don or John.) and he has no face. Only a body. And right now it's writhing beneath me. And although he has no face (and therefore no mouth) I can hear him moaning. I just want him to shut up There's only one thing I want from him and that comes soon enough. My release is quick and meaningless. I roll off him before he's finished, and he leaves in a huff---pissed off. Which is just fine with me. I couldn't stand seeing his slick brown flesh an minute longer. And if he hadn't left, I would have kicked him out. I already got what I wanted from him: those brief, fleeting seconds of pure bliss where nothing matters and there's no one else in the world but me. Another notch in my belt. Another Sharpie mark on my headboard. My headshot stares back at me from across the room, clearly disappointed. I am discussed with myself. I feel barren. Vacant. Hallow.

I roll over and cry myself to sleep.

1984

His name was Darren Hilson. He was beautiful. Blond hair. Emerald eyes. I was his before he even spoke to me. Little did I know I'd be his for the rest of my life. His name was Darren Hilson. And he devoured my soul.

Present Day Jack's POV

The alarm clock wretched me out of my fitful sleep. I don't dream anymore. I use to. But that was a time long forgotten. A time when I was happy and didn't have to fake a smile. It seems anymore I'm only happy around Karen and Will. Or Grace when she gets a bad perm. I crack myself up. But seriously. They help me forget the things I can never clearly remember.

I rush through the shower and dress, hurriedly running a comb through my hair. I want to get over to Will's and start the day's clever banter. Then Karen's taking me to Barney's to buy me a lil sumthin'sumthin'. She doesn't know it yet.

"Hello William. You're looking particularly portly today." I said as I invited myself in. I stole a strip of bacon off his plate as I passed. I was on a quest for orange juice.

"Jack. You're particularly wearing today." he took a swig of coffee.

"Oh, William. You're so pathetic in your attempt to hide your wild animal lust for me. It's sad really."

"Don't flatter yourself." he cut off a piece of the cinnamon bun before him and speared it with his fork which I snatched away from him.

"Don't fatter yourself."

He gave me one of his trademark looks of distain.

I watched him tear into the bun with his fingers. That diet of his much be out the window, because he smothered the cinnabun in an obscene amount of that lovely goo they come with. The bun-to-goo ratio wasn't the only thing I found obscene as I watched my unfortunate friend assault his breakfast. That sticky-sweet goo ran over and between his fingers, reminding me of--- Okay, Jack, that is more than enough! Will is your friend, not some random conquest! You've had this internal monologue about a million times!

It's true. Many times I've caught myself staring at him. I can't help it. I give him a lot of flack, but Will is a very attractive man. And if I see an attractive man…I get mountain climber's syndrome: all I can think about is mounting. But I know what would happen. It would start with a touch. End with a quick fuck. And I'd have to leave. I never get too close.

I realized I'd lost myself in my head and when reality sank back in, I realized I was watching Will absent-mindedly licking the goo off his fingers.

I left quickly, stammering out some lame excuse about expecting a plumber because my water heater blew up. A lie. Well, not completely…..I did have a pipe that was about to explode…

The rest of the day was uneventful. Karen bought me a new coat and scarf combo and we ragged on poorly dressed people.

"You okay? You don't seem like you're all here." said the beautiful stranger in my bed. He reached out to undo my buttons. I slapped his hands away, heart pounding. "Oh! I get it! You like to be the dominate one. Okay." he flipped over on his back. "Dominate me."

1984

His hands came at me. On either side of my hips. Pulled me closer. His mouth was on mine. The kiss was bitter with cheap liquor, but I'd waited all night for this. This was good. It was what I wanted, right? So why did I say "No"?

Present Day Jack's POV

"GET OUT!" I screamed.

"What?!?!" whatshisface was in shock. I would have been too. I sat bolt upright in bed and screamed at him to leave. I was shaking and covered in cold, clammy sweat.

"Dave, just go!"

"It's Dan!" he cried, throwing on his clothes . Quickly, he fled.

Only then was it safe for me to break down and cry.

A.N. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. && to all of you who were disappointed by my taking down my uber sexy Jack/Will fanfic, I'm sorry. I just didn't know where to take it. I hate to sound pushy, but please do review. I love hearing feedback from you guys. And to all of you Jack/Will shippers out there, you'll be pleased to know that when Jack was in bed with poor little Dave or Dan or whatever his name was, he only got off after thinking of Will with his lovely gooie breakfast. J Kisses! -Li