Nurse Jackie
Over the Influence
Disclaimer: Characters not mine.
-x-
A woman will encounter several crises in her life; many of these crises will test her in ways she wished she would never be tested. There is never a time when the testing is through, but there are times when a woman will reach a lull. Maybe that lull is right now.
With her chafed hands stuffed into her denim pockets, she watches her daughter take the keys to the old copper Buick LeSabre and open the driver's door. Now is the moment to be a teacher, a mother, a friend. But is it a lull?
Even the car engine sounds nervous as it starts up.
Grace pokes her head out the window and glares expectantly at her mother. "There's no way I'm doing this on my own."
What a valuable lesson to be learned. None of us are doing this on our own. None of us.
Jackie pulls out a tissue and rubs the itch away from her nose. Maybe she could spare a swipe or two to her eyes as well . . .
"I'm comin', pumpkin."
And she gets in the passenger seat.
Grace's hands are trembling on the wheel.
"Now, it's gonna feel a little weird at first, but that's normal," Jackie spews some motherly advice because what do you fucking say to your daughter when she first gets behind the wheel? "Think of it like learning to ride a bike for the first time."
Grace turns up her glassy gray eyes in terror.
"I crashed my bike on my first time."
Good God, how could she forget? They had that on tape, didn't they?
"Well, that's why we're in a vacant parking lot."
Grace doesn't look convinced.
"Remember what you learned in Driver's Ed," her mom reminds.
The teenager shifts her wad of chewing gum from one side of her mouth to the other and her teeth chatter before she shifts the gear to the big bold letter "D". . .
-x-
"Look, it's not a big deal, sweetie. See? Just a scratch on the side mirror. Nobody's even gonna see it."
Grace was in tears.
Her dad interjected, "You know, Grace, you have to get used to making mistakes if you want to be a confident driver."
Grace threw her hands up in the air. "Oh, can we stop fooling ourselves? God! Since when have I been a confident anything?"
"Sweetie . . ." Jackie had plenty of time to work on her gushing.
Grace rubbed her face on the sleeve of her hoodie and coughed on her own saliva. It was a pathetic sight. But boy, mothers sure found those pathetic sights worth hugging . . .
Grace didn't protest, but she didn't really give in either.
Over her daughter's shoulder, Jackie caught Kevin's eye and winced pointedly. That was the signal ex-wives used to alert their ex-husbands that something needed to be said, and fast.
"Grace," Kevin began with a heavy sigh, "I know it's rough when you're first starting out, but things will get better after you practice a little more. We're in no rush to get your license, right? It's why we chose to start as soon as possible."
Jackie sent him a look of mute appreciation.
"Your dad's right, baby," Jackie murmured into her daughter's frizzy blonde hair. "You're gonna be fine."
She pulled back to gauge Grace's facial expression, content enough to find the bitter edge to a smile in place on her chapped lips.
"We'll take the car out again tomorrow afternoon," Kevin offered.
Grace nodded and gave him a grudging, one-armed hug before jogging back to the house.
Jackie fumbled with the keys to the Buick for a second or two before tossing them to Kevin.
"Better your car than mine."
He let his head fall back and laughed. "Come on."
"I told you it was gonna be bleak."
"Your not impressed that she didn't have a panic attack when the engine started?"
"No, I'm impressed. It's just a little depressing for a first time experience. Aren't these supposed to be fun, joyous, laughter-filled moments when a kid first gets to drive a car?"
Kevin's face grew dark. "Since when has Grace had an experience that was joyous and laughter-filled?"
Jackie paused to think, only to find that there wasn't anything to think about. It was true, Grace avoided anything new or exciting to avoid failure or avert disaster. They had dealt with it since she was ten, but the only progress she'd made was that she could now teach kindergartners fire safety rules as a volunteer job.
Jackie shook her head. "God. It's the teenage phase. It's just a million times worse with her."
Kevin shrugged and his jacket made a crinkling noise that echoed in the quiet driveway. "Relax. She'll pull through it like everyone else does."
"Yeah, but it'll be hell getting there."
He exhaled in agreement. There was a second of silence and then he changed the subject.
"You gonna drop by tomorrow night after work?"
It was a familiar question. He seemed to want her around more than she was comfortable with. They were divorced, but it was ironic how much easier it was to get along with the person once you didn't have to share a bed with them.
"Eh. I don't know."
A light turned on in the house next door, and Jackie used the distraction to look away. It must have been nice to have neighbors.
"Jack."
She snapped back to reality and opened her car door.
"I'll think about it."
The door closed, and she started the engine. Kevin tapped his knuckles on the glass so she rolled down the window and pursed her lips, waiting for whatever he wanted to say.
"You know we've been pretty great together - especially these past few months."
That, she wasn't expecting.
"Yeah. I got it."
For some reason she smiled a little.
Kevin's voice dropped an octave. "Do you ever regret it?"
He didn't need to be specific. Any time they said "it" they meant the divorce. It was just understood.
She stared at his face for a long while, and whenever she did that - the long, hard stare - she had to be honest with him.
"No. I don't regret it," she admitted, and shrugged with an innocent grin. "Do you?" she tried to sound more concerned than she actually was.
His smile seemed genuine, and she was relieved. "No."
With that, he knocked the roof of her car and waved her out.
"Tomorrow night!" he called as she backed out of the driveway.
"It's a big maybe, Kev!"
"You don't wanna miss the penne a la vodka, do you?" he shouted with a grin.
Damn. That sounded good.
-x-
Ok, so that's my springboard. What do you think?
I've got a plan for this, I swear. Things will get complicated and all that good stuff, every character will make an appearance at some point in the future, that is, if people seem interested in me continuing. I'm just gonna go into hibernation for a while and see what happens. If I get the go ahead from my muse, I'll be back. :)
Review if you feel motivated.