A/N: Hi, everyone! So, this story was requested by Retro mania! I hope you enjoy it!
Escape from Smash-atraz
Smashers Log 1051:
They were up the stream without a Smash Ball. Bowser had captured them and put them on trial for their lives.
"All rise for his honor, the dis-honorable Judge Bowser!" Bowser Jr. ordered Mario, Luigi, Peach, and Toon Link, who were in chains.
Bowser walked into the courtroom, much to the defendants' displeasure, and banged his gavel on the stand in front of him. "Smash Court is now in session," he said sinisterly. "Junior, read those phony charges you and I cooked up!"
Bowser Jr. pulled out a piece of paper and began to read, his voice dripping with malice. "Mario, Luigi, Princess Toadstool, and Toon Link. You are charged with disrupting the villains' way of life, Smashing without a license, and not eating your pasta. How do you plead?"
"Not guilty!" Mario said, particularly when he thought of the three bowls of spaghetti he had eaten just this morning.
"Not guilty!" Luigi declared, his fists pulled up to his chin in fright.
"Not guilty!" Toon Link claimed feistily, knowing full well that Smash battles didn't require a license.
"Not guilty!" Peach said, her tone far from the helpless princess everyone made her out to be.
"Let the record show the four criminals confessed to every crime!" Bowser said, totally ignoring the captive heroes.
Peach wouldn't hear it, though. "Bowser! We just said we didn't do those things!" she cried in outrage.
Bowser pounded his gavel on the table again. "We've got laws in this court against disrespecting the judge!"
"Why do I get the feeling he's gonna throw the book at us?" Toon Link asked warily.
Just then, a huge book sailed past their heads and the defendants recoiled in shock. "That'll get you another fifty years!"
"Hold it, Bowser!" Mario demanded, "Don't we get to talk in our own defense first?"
The Koopa king thought for a moment. "I'll give you… five minutes."
"I'd like to say-"
"Time's up!" Bowser interrupted. "Has the jury reached a decision in this case?"
The jury, which consisted of Wario, King Dedede, Dark Pit, Wolf, Ganondorf, and the remainder of Bowser's Koopaling children, began whispering among themselves.
"Guilty! Or I'll feed you to this Piranha Plant!" Bowser motioned to a red, white-spotted plant with sharp teeth growing in a green pot.
The jury didn't need Bowser's threat to agree to that, nor would their minds change in the slightest without it.
"They say 'guilty', Papa!" Bowser Jr. reported, "Just like we planned!"
"Junior, prepare the scales of justice for the criminals!" Bowser commanded.
"The real crime is this phony trial!" Peach screamed, but was once again ignored.
The defendants watched as a scale was brought into the room. "Smasher number one, weigh in!" Bowser ordered.
A few minions led Mario to the scale and placed him on it. "Hey! Don't I get to take off my shoes?" he asked, "That's not fair!"
"Five hundred pounds!" Bowser Jr. informed, the koopa having manipulated the measurements beforehand.
"Congratulations! You've earned a five hundred year long stay at Club Smash-atraz!" Bowser cried as if he were announcing the prizes for a game show.
"Five hundred years in Smash-atraz prison?" Luigi asked, trembling.
"Hey! It could have been life!" Bowser Jr. said, "Relax! You'll be up for parole in a century or two."
"Son, show them what they've won!" Bowser ordered.
Bowser Jr. released a projectile screen from the ceiling. "Ouch!" he cried as the screen unrolled and conked him on the head. Then, he cleared his throat and stared at the Smashers. "Your trip will begin with a cruise across Glacier Bay to the island prison of Smash-atraz!"
Luigi gulped as a massive blue and orange fish poked its giant head out of the water. The prison itself was an old, crumbling building on a tall, snowy summit in the middle of a small island in the center of the bay.
Bowser Jr. continued. "Best of all, your stay will be uninterrupted by escapes! No one has ever left this maximum security dungeon!"
The defendants all mirrored the looks of dread on each other's faces.
Three hours later, Mario, Luigi, peach, and Toon link had been transported across the freezing bay on a boat, and were led inside the old prison.
"Well, at least we got rid of that creepy Judge Bowser," Toon Link ventured.
"Quiet!" Bowser Jr. snapped, "Warden Bowser doesn't allow prisoners to talk!"
"Warden Bowser?" Luigi questioned.
To their dismay, the Koopa King had come with them all the way to Smash-atraz, and now entered the room. "I had so much fun being your evil judge, I decided to be your cruel warden!" he laughed with wicked pleasure. "Show the prisoners to their cells!"
The four captives grimaced as they were led away, unsure if they would ever see the outside of the prison walls again.
Meanwhile, in one of the cold, dark prison cells, a man with graying blonde hair wearing a weathered, forest-green tunic scratched a tally into the stone wall with a tiny, sharp arrow that the Primid guards had failed to confiscate. "Let's see now," he muttered, "that's fifty-four years, seven months, and nine days…"
Dungeons were this man's specialty, but he hadn't expected to spend so much time actually locked up in one. Magic and adventure had been a big part of his early life, and spending so much time away from all that was almost more than he could stand. Potions and fairies had done wonders for the hero's health and overall lifespan, and his Time Ocarina had allowed him to glimpse places and events beyond his world, but he hadn't expected to spend most of his prolonged days in a cold dark cell.
The man turned when he heard several pairs of footsteps headed toward him. The warden's son had come with a few more prisoners, three of which were quickly forced into his cell.
"Not you, princess! Girls have their own cell!" Bowser Jr. said, "Looks like you've got company, fairy boy!"
"It's about time!" the man in green said irritably, though his blue eyes shone with the fire of courage. "I've been alone in this prison for thirty years now, and you know how misery loves company."
Mario and the others jumped in shock as the heavy prison door slammed behind them, the noise like a metallic sonic boom.
"If you need anything just yell!" Bowser Jr. said, and led the princess away without another word. Of course, the Smashers doubted anyone would hear them. They had nothing else to do, so for now, they decided to get to know their cell-mate.
"Hi! I'm Mario!" the red capped plumber introduced, "This is my brother Luigi, and our friend Toon Link!"
"Toon Link, huh?" the man asked, "Hey, you wouldn't happen to be from Outset Island within the Great Sea, would you?"
"Sure! My grandma is Aryl!"
"You're Aryl's grandson?"
"Yeah! Do you know her?"
"She's a descendant of mine. I'm Link, your ancestor!"
Toon Link almost teared up at hearing this news. "Link!"
Link's smile broadened. "Toon Link!"
Both Hylians embraced one another, experiencing the bitter-sweetness of seeing a somewhat familiar face in this dungeon.
Luigi saw his brother wipe a tear from his eye. "Are you crying because you're happy Toon Link finally found his ancestor?"
"No. Sad. Because that's what Toon Link will look like in fifty years if we don't get out of here." Mario answered with exasperation.
Later on, Mario and his friends were gathered in the mess hall for dinner. Peach was with them as well, but unfortunately, the food was less than appetizing.
"What is this stuff?" Mario asked, staring at the food on his plate with disgust.
"They call it Bowser Surprise because it looks and smells like Bowser." Link explained.
"If Bowser thinks I'm going to shovel that stuff into my face, he's crazy!" Mario protested.
"Hey!" Luigi piped up, "That gives me an idea! We could shovel our way out of Smash-atraz with these!" he held up his silver spoon.
"All the way under the bay?" Toon Link asked incredulously, "That'd take twenty years!"
"So? You have anything better to do, Toon Link?" Peach asked defiantly.
"Wait! If we could make it outside the prison walls, we could take one of the boats!" Mario suggested.
"Shh!" Link said, putting a finger to his lips. He motioned to a few Primid guards who were watching. "That's an excellent idea," he agreed in a hushed tone, "but, they always count the spoons after meals."
"Then we'll just have to create a little distraction," Mario said. He stood up on his chair and hefted his plate. "This food stinks! You eat it!" Mario hurled his food at the nearest Primid, who looked up just in time to catch a face-full of Bowser Surprise.
"Food Fight!" Toon Link cried. He threw his tray and struck another guard in the chest, splattering food everywhere.
"Ready… Aim… Fire!" Link hurled his plate like a boomerang, catching two Primids and knocking them down one after the other.
Bweet! Bweet! Bweet! The fighting ceased at the sharp, shrill sound of a guard's whistle, and to the prisoners' horror, the warden walked into the room.
"So, you don't like the food?" Bowser asked, "In that case, try going without it!"
"No food?" Mario complained, "For how long?"
"Until I get back from conquering the princess's kingdom. I figure… at least ten years."
"Ten years?" Luigi cried, his eyes wide with disbelief, "We'll be goners!"
"You won't get away with this, Bowser!" Peach yelled.
"Of course I will! With you four locked here in Smash-atraz, I can demolish and pillage all I want!" He turned to his son. "Junior, take the prisoners back to their cells, and while I'm destroying the princess's kingdom, let them starve!"
So there they were, prisoners in Smash-atraz, doomed to starve, while Bowser was about to go plunder the princess's kingdom. It was time for a jail-break.
Mario, Luigi, Link, and Toon Link struggled to pry one of the loose tiles away from their cell floor. They pulled with all their strength, and the tile broke free and flew from their hands. It hit the ceiling with a loud crash, and then landed on Luigi's foot!
"Yow!" the plumber screamed, hopping around and making quite a racket.
"Shh!" Link warned, "You'll wake the guard!" The hero pointed at Wario, who was asleep on a stool. Thankfully, he stayed that way, and the four Smashers began to dig a tunnel with the spoons they had smuggled from the cafeteria.
Eventually, they had created a pretty decent sized tunnel, groaning with every seemingly insignificant spoonful of dirt they shoveled out. "Faster! Faster!" Mario urged.
Back in Smash-atraz, Wario was snoring away, when he awoke with a start. Drowsily, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and went to check on the prisoners. When he looked in their cell, he found them sitting on the ground, locked up like they should be. Glad there was nothing that needed his attention, Wario hopped back on his stool and went right back to sleep.
"Hurry!" We've got to dig our way out before he wakes up!" Link said, uncovering their tunnel, which had been concealed with all their bedding. The four of them jumped down the hole they had made and started digging once more.
A few hours passed, each one seeming like days, and the Smashers still shoveled, adding to their tunnel.
"How much farther do we have to dig?" Mario asked, struggling against the pain in his arms and legs.
"According to my calculations, we should be right outside the front gate!" Link reported. The four of them stacked themselves on top of one another and started digging upwards. It was even slower work than digging down, but the hope of freedom kept them at it.
"We must be close," Mario said, "I can hear someone sawing wood!"
Indeed, the roar of a chainsaw echoed through the tunnel. Newly invigorated by this news, the prisoners began to dig faster.
Meanwhile, Bowser was asleep- that is until a sudden jolt forced him out of bed. Bowser tumbled to the floor. "What's going on?" he asked groggily, "A Koopa needs his beauty rest!" He turned on the light and looked around, and was furious with what he saw.
Bowser rubbed his eyes, as if to wipe mist from them. "This better be a bad dream, plumber," he said to the escaped prisoner, who had the misfortune of tunneling into the Koopa king's room, "because if it's not, you're in deep trouble!"
Later that night, Princess Peach received a visit from the Koopa king himself. "Do you know what your friends did?" Bowser asked irritably, "They interrupted my sleep! How can I plunder your kingdom if I don't get my rest?"
"What did you do to them, Bowser?" Peach demanded furiously, worried for her fellow Smashers.
"When I'm tired, I get cranky," Bowser explained with a sinister chuckle, "I put them in solitary confinement and gave them five hundred more years of hard labor."
The next day, the four escapees were in the prison's courtyard, surrounded by high cement walls, breaking rocks with large picks under the burning sun and singing rhymes to keep their spirits up.
When the guards were tired of the heat, the prisoners had to wash clothes under Bowser Jr's supervision. "Scrub faster!" the Koopaling ordered.
"We're out of soap!" Mario protested truthfully.
"Then grab some more!"
Mario walked over to the bucket and took out a few bars of soap, thinking of a plan to escape. He hid some extra soap bars in his clothes, in case they'd be needed, and walked back to where his friends were working.
"Attention, Smash-atraz prisoners! Time to go back to your cells!" Bowser Jr. announced to the four captives, who were all chained up in a line. If Mario was going to tell the others of his plan, he had to act now.
He turned his head a fraction of an inch to face Luigi, his lips parting only slightly as he whispered to his brother. "I have a plan! We're breaking out of here! Be ready to go just before dawn. Pass it along."
Luigi nodded and whispered to Toon Link, who relayed the message to Link.
As soon as he was alone in his cell, Mario pulled out all the soap he had snuck from the laundry room and began his difficult task, using a nail file and whatever else he had smuggled in to whittle and craft the soap to fit his designs. Finally, he had compacted and shaped the soap into a perfectly round, smooth ball.
"Now, a little shoe polish and some glow-in-the-dark paint…" Mario colored the surface of the soap orb, dividing it into four sections with the shoe polish, and filled them in with a blending rainbow of shining paint. "and I've got a Smash Ball good enough to fool Wario!"
Time for phase two. Mario put his Smash Ball close by him. "Help!" he yelled, banging his fist against the metal wall of his cell, "There's a big ugly Pider in here!" Mario knew the guard wouldn't care enough to get rid of the web-spitting insect, even if it were really there. "My yelling's gonna keep you up all night unless you get this Pider out of here!"
But, when Wario opened Mario's cell, he was met with quite the surprise.
"One false move and you'll be KO'd, Wario!" Mario said, raising a fist over the Smash Ball as if to break it. "Let's have those keys!"
"Waah!" Wario cried in shock, too sleepy to realize that the Smash Ball was fake, and handed over the keys without resistance.
Mario snatched them up and ran to free his friends. However, the whaling sirens and the search lights that now swept the halls of the prison indicated that they didn't have much time. Freeing Luigi, Link, and Toon Link was no problem, but they had to go to a whole different level to find Peach, who was surprised, yet joyful, to see her friends again.
The prisoners ran as quietly as they could through the halls, occasionally stopping to avoid the searchlight or to scare off some Primids with the fake Smash Ball.
Eventually, they made it outside, where sleet and wind pounded against their faces. Mario gasped as the raindrops began to wash the paint off of his Smash Ball. He tossed it aside, knowing they couldn't use that to scare off any more guards.
Mario and the others struggled against the storm, numb from the cold. The snow tugged at their feet with every step, and Mario wished they were ice climbers. Their clothes soaked through in a matter of seconds, and tiny snow droplets clung to their hair and faces. The blaring sirens faded behind them, though the howling wind drowned out the sound somewhat.
They couldn't go straight to the bay because of the guards waiting for them, so Mario uncovered the entrance to a pipe leading underground and the others jumped inside without hesitation, screaming as they fell down the echoing tunnel. They landed with a thud, trying to ignore the pain from the fall and get moving as quickly as possible.
Mario pulled a brick loose from the wall, and to their surprise, water poured in their small tunnel!
"Watch out!" Peach cried as the others screamed in horror. The water was getting higher as the Smashers frantically tried to break away more of the wall. When the hole was big enough, they swam through it and surfaced in the bay, right where they wanted to be.
Mario pointed to a boat and they quickly boarded the vessel. Luigi, Link, Toon Link, and Peach started rowing, but Mario had one more surprise for Smash-atraz.
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a real Smash Ball he had found when they had fallen, and pounded his fist into the orb, claiming its power for himself. Mario shot a devastating inferno of flames towards the prison, melting the glacier of an island it was floating on. Without the foundation, the prison immediately tumbled into the sea, perishing from the fire and crumbling beneath the water's surface.
In the distance, Bowser and his son were paddling in the bay, trying to escape the massive, hungry fish that had its eye on them.
"Well, that's the last of Smash-atraz Prison!" Luigi said with a smile.
"You'll never have to go back, Link!" Toon Link grinned.
"Yep! I'm a free Hylian!" Link said, "Free to breathe the air, free to walk the streets!"
"Free to buy us dinner?" Mario asked, laughing at his joke.
"Sure!" Link answered eagerly, "As a matter of fact, I packed us a snack from the prison mess hall!" Mario perked up with interest, until he saw what Link pulled from his pocket. "Bread and water all around!"
A/N: Thanks for reading!
A few notes: My Turn to Shine should be updated next week. Breaking My Limits is still happening, but is going painfully slowly. Lend Me a Hand may be undergoing some updates. Feedback on what I should change would be appreciated for that one before I start revising… You can review, or PM me. Thanks, guys!