A/N - Written as a result of insomnia. So angsty that I think I broke myself.
No, he thought as an icy coldness drenched him, bringing with it broken memories of ripping skin and blood and teeth and darkness, of hands shaking as they grasped a newspaper, the pain of knees cracking on a hard stone floor, Surely not.
Yet there it was – a Dementor standing in the door of the compartment. The children around him whimpering quietly as it sucked in another hideous rattling breath. This time, however, it was not pain that filled him, but anger. This was not the place for such a creature, no matter the circumstances. He tried as hard as he could not to think about what exactly the circumstances were as he stood to face the thing.
He didn't know what possessed him to say it, but the words escaped him before he had time to think about them,
"None of us is hiding Sirius Black under our cloaks. Go."
The memory burst unbidden into his mind, then.
On the same train in a very different time; summer, when they didn't have to think about wars and death and betrayal. James had dragged Peter with him to try out his latest seduction technique on a less than willing Lily Evans, leaving Remus and Sirius alone in the compartment.
Being sixteen years old and more than a little enamoured of each other, being left alone had meant only one thing. It had been a little surprising when Sirius had squeaked, sworn under his breath, and pulled himself from Remus's arms only to bury under his ratty old cloak in the corner of the compartment. Before Remus could ask what was going on, Regulus had opened the door and was looking down at him imperiously.
"Do you know where Sirius is?" It seemed a command rather than a request, and though Remus didn't at all appreciate Regulus's tone, he did his best to smile as he lied,
"No, sorry."
"Oh." Regulus replied, but he didn't leave the compartment, simply looked at Remus with an odd mixture of curiosity and disgust that made him suddenly very conscious of his slightly dishevelled state.
"What?" Remus said eventually, "Is there anything else, or do you think I'm hiding him under my cloak?"
Regulus did not grace that with an answer, but instead let the compartment door slam shut behind him as Sirius emerged from the folds of the cloak.
"What in Merlin's name was that about?"
"He only would've pissed me off. And it's nearly the Summer holidays, which means I won't see you for ages, which means I want to make the most of now." Sirius breathed into his ear as he picked up where he had left off kissing the tender spot where Remus's jawline met his neck, but not before Remus could dissolve into peals of laughter and bring Sirius's mouth to his to smile into a kiss.
"Expecto Patronum" he choked, and he almost wished the silver form did not shoot from his wand. It was weak and pale, stained with regret and pain and a terrible longing. He didn't even know its corporeal form any more, it had been so long since he'd not crumpled at the thought of a silver dog bursting from his wand.
It worked, though, the Dementor turning from the compartment, and warmth beginning to seep back into his bones. He was not allowed even a moment of triumph as the lights flickered on and his gaze dropped to the boy on the floor; scruffy black hair framing a face that was achingly familiar, green eyes blinking open, full of confusion and fear. Remus could only guess at what he had been reliving – the shouts of his father and the screams of his mother, the last moments of the parents he never knew, betrayed by one they trusted above all others. Loved above all others. The others were looking up at him in awed thanks, but he could not bring himself to meet their eyes as he was filled with guilt and shame and utter, overwhelming disgust with himself.
He looked down at Lily and James's son, felt his wand still warm from the energy of his Patronus, and he felt a little sick.
A/N - Sorry. So feel free to express yourself in a review :)