This is my second entry for OQ August Angst fest, using prompts 5, 11, 31, 26, 21, 7. It's another AU, with no magic or curses. Just a short drabble.
Inspired by The Greatest Showman's Rewrite the Stars! Hope you like it!
"You know I want you." His whisper is soft in her ear. Robin holds Regina as close as he possibly can, hanging onto her tightly as if she's his lifeline.
Regina squeezes her eyes shut, the simple phrase making her heart clench in a pain that she cannot describe. It's a pain that spreads, a flu-like essence that seeps discomfort through her muscles and sickens her stomach. "I know," she replies simply, only managing to say just that.
Pressed against her back, Regina can feel her beloved Robin bury his face in her neck. She feels a wetness slide against her skin and it breaks her even more. "You know, I was going to propose to you," he murmurs, voice cracked with emotion, "I was going to ask you to marry me."
"Don't," she says firmly, her own voice breaking in the same way. His words only make it worse. For that is all she'd ever wanted. "Please don't."
"Please don't leave," Robin counters, holding her even tighter, "You promised you wouldn't."
"You know I have to, Robin," Regina sighs, turning her head to press her face even further into the pillow in a display of feeling that she tries so hard to conceal. She doesn't realize how much it tortures him.
"You only have to, to please your mother." His words are bitter, spat upon her like acid. But can she blame him?
Regina shakes her head softly. "You know it's more than that. The money's gone, Robin," she cries quietly, "My hands were tied. It's the only way I can ensure our family's stability." A pregnant pause. "Leo's a good man."
"And I'm not…" Robin concludes, the pain, the hurt so clearly evident in his voice. It completely shatters Regina, for the last thing she ever wanted was to hurt the one person she cared about most.
She shifts in his arms, turning slowly on the mattress to face him. Around them, the air is frigid in Robin's one room, hole in the wall apartment. But their breath is warm in the space between. It's a small reminder of the passion that they once shared, a passion that still lingers. Regina regrets her decision to turn towards him, for the anguish in his eyes is far too much to bear.
"Don't ever think that," she tells him almost desperately. That's the last thing she wants him to think.
"Why shouldn't I?" Robin asks, "Your engagement to that man says enough—about me, about us."
"Robin, you mean more to me than anyone else."
"And yet, here we are. It's like I don't even know you anymore."
Regina's eyes widen, her stomach twisting in pain, a pain that she knows she deserves. "No, don't say that." She shakes her head, reaching out to touch his cheek. Her eyes desperately search his. "I love you."
Robin sighs, unable to resist leaning into her touch. Regina can tell that his heart remains conflicted, pulled in every which way over a complicated situation that bears no painless answer—a fate that will inevitably pull them miles away from one another. Would he rather see her along with her family fall to ruin as they lose their house and everything they own, or see her married off in the arms of another all for the sake of securing financial stability and a reputation that had already begun to wane? Regina knows it hurts him to know that he cannot provide, barely able to make ends meet for himself.
"This is our last night together," she whispers quietly, her eyes glistening as she gently strokes the cheek of her secret lover. "I don't want to ruin it with the reality of it all." Regina shifts closer and presses a tender kiss to his lips.
He accepts, willingly opening himself to her one last time. Robin's lips part for her, moving in perfect time, moulding together with hers just as they should. As tenderness turns to something stronger, warmth blooms in both their chests. Though leadened with the burden of the current circumstance, it is a warmth no less, that sparks a desire coursing through their veins.
Regina's brows are furrowed as she continues to press herself against him, wrapping her arms around his back; fingers splayed and pressing firmly against his shoulder blades. She feels herself slowly rolled onto her back as he leaves her lips, his own traveling down to the smooth column of her neck. It's then that she opens her eyes, feeling tears begin to prick at the corners.
"Robin," she utters, "Robin."
He halts, lifting his head from the warmth of her skin. Passion-filled eyes meet hers. But they dull quickly with the worry of the anticipation of her denial swirling deep within the blueness of his orbs.
"I came to say goodbye," Regina whimpers, "Only to say goodbye."
Robin shakes his head. She can see his own eyes beginning to well up. "You're killing me, Regina," he says brokenly. He closes his eyes, blindly lifting himself from Regina's supine position. The next time he meets her eyes is with a gaze so numb, so distant that it chills her to the bone. "Maybe you should just go."
Silently, Regina slips from the bed, stooping down to slip on her heels. They were only planning to lie with one another and simply spend their last time together in each other's company. But even that is just too much to bear. She straightens her skirt before grabbing her purse, all the while avoiding the eyes of her beloved as he watches her in silence.
Both walk to the door as if in a daze, wondering if perhaps it is a dream—a terrible nightmare from which they'll both wake and find one another back in the comfort of each other's arms, having nothing that could ever keep them apart. But alas, Robin is unlocking the door and pulling it open. A small gust from the outside hall prickles Regina's skin as she turns to face him once more. Her eyes are lined with red. They ache with the need to cry, ready to burst at the seams. And she wants nothing more than to wrap her arms tightly around Robin and sob into his chest. But she does nothing of the sort. She simply stares up at him, taking in his mournful gaze, trying to remember him as he used to look at her—with love in his eyes.
"I love you, Regina," she hears Robin whisper out as if speaking a forbidden confession, "I'll always love you."
It's enough for the bout of held tears to finally open the flood gates. They trail down Regina's cheeks and impede on her vision. "I know," she weeps, tilting her head down to wipe furiously at her cheeks. Her skin is hot with embarrassment.
"Hey." It is the gentle touch of his finger along with his soft, soothing voice that brings her back to the present. Robin lifts her chin to meet his gentle gaze. It's one that now reads of some kind of a conciliatory understanding, a forgiveness of sorts. He has never been one to leave her in anger. This last moment proves to be no different. "It's going to be okay." He smiles sadly through the apparent agony, crushing Regina to a thousand bits. He had always been her rock.
"I never meant to hurt you. Please just know that," she mumbles, and Robin nods quietly, moving his hand to cup the back of her head and bring her close once more. His arms envelop her in a tight hug filled with raw emotion.
They say that if you really love something, you have to let it go. With nothing but fragmented memories, and the ghost of each other's touch lingering upon their skin, they say goodbye; knowing that, with their stories written in the stars, it's for the best.