Not Enough

Summary: Jace found himself in Isabelle's bedroom the night before Max's funeral. They both try to cope with the pain they were experiencing by trying to forget.

Warnings: a bit of sexual content

Jace kicked down the wooden chair in front of the study table with all the strength he could muster. He had been throwing and kicking things around this room – the room that murderer, Sebastian Verlac, used during his stay in the Penhallows. He was so angry. He was sure his very blood was boiling inside of him. All he could see was red and he believed that he would openly attack anything… anything that would move at that moment. His highly sensitive ears registered the sound of the mattress being ripped. His golden eyes travelled to the slim figure stabbing the poor mattress with all the rage it held.

He watched her long tangled dark locks swayed in concert with her rough movements. He could see the newly placed marks on the bare skin of her arms and shoulders. At that moment, all he could see was Isabelle… and her pain. Her beautiful face was contorted with anger and grief. Her muscles stiff with the tension she was placing on them. His feet moved without his mind fully registering what he wanted to do.

"Iz…" He heard himself say but even to him he sounded distant. The raven haired young lady seemed to not hear him so he tried calling her out again. She didn't show any sign that she heard him or that she was even aware of his presence in the room. He felt something twist his loudly pounding heart inside his chest at the sight of her tear-stained face.

"I… I-I… I need to find him! F-Find him!... Find him and k-kill him! Kill him!... I'm going to kill that bastard!... Kill him!" Her blue eyes looked wild and were rimmed with red as fresh tears continued to stream down her pale cheeks. Isabelle raised her dagger and was in the process of plunging it down again into the brutally torn mattress when Jace's hand wrapped around her wrist. She stiffened in his hold for a very very brief moment and then in a blink of an eye, she whirled around and accidentally cut Jace on his right cheek out of reflex.

Neither of them moved for a moment. Jace just stood there with a bleeding cut on his face but he didn't even wince. Isabelle was looking at him with astonished eyes. Her face held that look of a person who had just woken up from a terrible nightmare. Her right hand which was holding the dagger shook before her fingers uncurled slowly around the handle, letting the dagger fall on the carpeted floor. "J-Jace…?" She croaked out. She sounded surprised to see him there when he the truth was he entered that room at the same time as her. "J-Jace… I-I…" She looked at her hands as if they were covered in blood and she had just committed a crime. "I… I-I'm so-sorry…"

Her hands shook as she brought them up to touch his face. More tears welled up from her eyes despite her obvious efforts of trying to stop them from coming. Jace stared at her with his ever watchful eyes as he tried to mask his own pain. "I-I'm sorry…" Isabelle choked on her own words and her hands seemed to lose their strength. She let them fall on top of his clothed chest. She grasped onto the fabric as if it would be her only way to keep herself from falling. He could feel her whole body shaking. "I'm sorry… S-So sorry… I-I… I w-was there… Max… M-Max was… I-I w-was t-there, Jace!... I could… I could… I c-could have s-saved h–" The rest of Isabelle's words were cut off by her own sobs. She let her cries out freely the moment Jace pulled her into his arms in an almost bone-crushing embrace.

He didn't say a word. He just stood there. He didn't utter even a single word in an attempt to comfort her. He just held her close. His hands weaved into her thick dark hair. He moved his fingers gently trying to unravel every knot as the girl in his arms cried her heart out. He felt her knees buckle and he let their bodies slide onto the floor. He rested his back on the foot of the bed as Isabelle curled herself more closely to him. Jace couldn't describe how much pain he was feeling at the moment. He wanted to scream… destroy things… scream… kill Sebastian… scream… cry. He wanted to cry. He wanted to cry so badly and yet not a single tear could escape his eyes.

His head snapped up at the sound of the door opening. A dark shadow loomed at the doorway. It didn't take long for him to recognize that it was Alec. The look on Alec's face was like another sharp knife being embedded into Jace's heart. "I-Iz…" Alec said softly as he stepped into the room. Isabelle stopped shaking in Jace's arms and a surprised gasp escaped her lips in a way that seemed like she just realized something. "Iz… It was not your fault." She felt like Alec poured a bucket of boiling hot water onto her already inflamed skin. She wrenched herself out of Jace's strong embrace and run out of the room so fast Alec and Jace weren't able to do anything but stare after her.

Later that night when all of them were trying to pretend that they were sleeping, Jace drowned himself at the sound of Isabelle's muffled cries. The moment he entered his room in the new house they were staying in, he was aware of her cries. He didn't bother to change out of his black Shadowhunter gear even after he used a healing rune to heal the cut Isabelle inflicted on him earlier. He just lay down on top of the uncomfortable covers of his bed and stared at the ceiling.

He wondered how could the man he thought of as his father could devise such plans. Jace felt sick. Terribly sick. Not just because of Valentine but of himself as well. He felt like he was the poison to this family that eventually destroyed them. He knew he shouldn't stay with them anymore. He wondered how they could still provide love and shelter for the spawn of the man who murdered their precious little son. Jace gritted his teeth and got off of the bed. It would be Max's funeral the next morning… He figured that he didn't really need any sleep. He walked out of his room as quietly as he could.

"J-Jace?" He stopped dead upon hearing Isabelle's broken voice. He looked at the door of her bedroom and thought that maybe he just imagined her calling him out. He could have just imagined it but the next thing he knew, he was pushing her door open.

He saw Isabelle sitting on her legs at the center of her bed. A white blanket was draped over her head and she was holding the blanket close around her frame like how a lost little girl would. Her teary blue eyes shone brightly in the darkness of the room. He paid no attention at the scattered belongings the girl intentionally left in every corner of the area. He even found himself kicking a hairclip out of his way before he finally stopped in front of her.

Isabelle didn't even raise her head up to recognize his presence. She continued to stare blankly in front of her. Jace thought that this might be the first time he saw Isabelle… so fragile… She looked so vulnerable that he felt like he was looking at a different girl. He moved his left hand hesitantly to touch her cheek. She didn't show any sign that she didn't want him there so he pushed the blanket off of her huddled form. He felt her hands resist and held onto the fabric for a short moment before she finally let go. "Where are you going?" Surprisingly enough, her voice sounded firm and strong.

Jace watched her slip out of her bed and walked into the bathroom. He followed her and found himself looking into their jagged reflections from the cracked mirror. He watched her wash her face in her poor attempt to make herself look presentable. "Out." He replied with a small shrug of his shoulders.

"Out? For what? Some fresh air?... Is that how you cope up with things?" Jace raised an elegant eyebrow at this. He saw her shoulders tensed then shook. He knew she was about to cry again. He wondered if there was any limit on the amount of tears a single person could cry… But then he realized the tears would never end because the gaping painful wound Max's death left in their hearts would be there for the rest of their lives.

Isabelle walked out of the bathroom and Jace followed her again like some lost puppy. She seemed to rummage in the drawer of her nightstand for a moment. She pulled something out of it then held it in her hand tightly. The golden haired boy moved to see what she was holding. He suddenly felt like the air was knocked out of him when he saw the little toy soldier he used to have when he was a kid. He remembered giving it to Max. He remembered how happy the boy was.

Jace could see that day playing like some sappy movie in front of him. He could clearly see how Max's eyes sparkled with pure delight when he placed the toy soldier in his small waiting hands. "Thank you, Jace! I'll take good care of it!" That time, he wondered how Max could get so happy over an old secondhand toy. Jace's eyes were fixed on the toy that Isabelle was mindlessly turning in her fingers.

"He was h-holding this… I… I-I was t-there, J-Jace… H-He could have r-relied on me… H-held onto me… Not… N-Not onto t-this… this t-toy…" Isabelle swallowed though she was having a great difficulty in doing so. "B-But then… I-I thought… T-This was n-not just a toy to him… This… T-This was you to him… H-He… He was p-probably hoping you w-would come and s-save him… Just like the h-hero he always saw you t-to be…" Blood pounded in Jace's ears and it was suddenly too hard for him to breathe. Each of Isabelle's words to him rung like loud thunder roars upon his eardrums.

Isabelle gripped the toy soldier in her hand so tight that her knuckles had gone white. She then slammed it back into the drawer with such force that shook the whole nightstand. She turned to face Jace who was as white as a ghost at that time. "I thought I was strong! I did everything to be strong! But… B-But I… I-I couldn't even protect my own little brother! I-I… I couldn't! I c-couldn't!" She started thrashing and throwing things around. He felt his body moved to restrain her.

Jace had no idea how long Isabelle was struggling. He just found himself sitting at the edge of her bed and she was standing in front of him… panting… trying to catch her breath. He looked up and winced at the sight of her seemingly endless tears streaming down her pretty face. "Isabelle…" He whispered her name softly… as gently as he could manage for he felt like the girl before him would inevitably break if he was not careful enough even in just saying her name.

In a heartbeat, her hands were on the rough fabric of the front of his gear. She pushed at him before slamming herself hard against his toned body. He was too confused and too surprised to move. And then her lips as hot as fire were suddenly upon his. And as a reflex, he kissed her back. It took him a whole minute or two to realize that she was shamelessly clawing onto his gear, trying to get rid of his clothes. His hands couldn't seem to get a firm hold on her arms or shoulders because her skin was already slick with sweat. He instead found purchase on the thin material of her white nightgown. In his attempt to put some distance between himself and Isabelle, he accidentally tore the fabric of her gown.

Isabelle gasped in his mouth as the cool night air assaulted her defenseless skin. She parted from him just to stare deeply into his golden eyes. He was actually trying to catch his breath. His eyes first stared into her hypnotizing blue ones before they travelled down to look at her ever inviting swollen red lips… He even dared to look lower just to find how her torn nightgown was dangerously hanging low on her creamy chest. "Jace…" Her tone was needy and was incredibly seducing that he almost wanted to scamper away from her. "I…" She placed a hand on top of his rapidly beating heart. "P-Please… Help me forget…" She refused to look into his eyes. He knew he shouldn't let her have what she wanted… what she needed. But his body seemed to have a mind of its own. He reached up. His hand slipped at the back of her neck tenderly before he pulled her down on him. Their lips collided with each other again and this time they both let their bodies melt into each other.

Jace pushed all other thoughts away. His mind couldn't even linger on the thought of Clary for a whole minute. He was more on feeling than thinking that night. Everything had been so suffocating for him that he knew he needed some form of escape… Some form of release and Isabelle could give him that.

Isabelle moved boldly and straddled him. He let his hands wander along the sexy curves of her body without any restraint. She expertly got rid of his gear and her small but capable hands quickly slipped under his shirt. Her hands roamed the hard planes of his muscles and Jace couldn't help it but to groan softly into her mouth. She moved away from him for a brief moment to remove her nightgown. He took this opportunity to get rid of his shirt as well.

The moment her nightgown was gone, Jace drank the sight of her full naked breasts. His pants become unbelievably tight at the sight before him. He snaked an arm around her slim waist and pulled her hard against him. He reached up to kiss her chastely before he proceeded to trail open-mouthed kisses down the curve of her throat to her heaving chest. "Jace!" Her back arched towards him as his hot mouth closed over one of her hard nipples and sucked in such a manner that made her toes curl. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer against her body.

The next thing she knew, she was lying beneath Jace's naked god-like body. He was pouring small sweet kisses on her skin that left a burning sensation on every spot. Sometimes his finger would trace thoughtlessly over some of her runes, making her back arch because of the sensations he was giving her. Her legs spread for him invitingly when his kisses travelled a lot lower. She could feel that coil in her stomach tightening with every small almost innocent kiss he planted on her sweaty skin. She couldn't tell what she felt first, his long pianist fingers parting her dripping wet folds or his skilled tongue flicking ever so slightly over her throbbing clit. It didn't take long for him to start licking and sucking on the most sensitive part of her body. Isabelle was shaking in pleasure and her fingers were buried in Jace's golden locks as he dipped his tongue occasionally into her entrance.

"J-Jace…" She moaned his name out in an almost pained tone. Her hands tugged on his hair and he gripped her hips tighter to steady her as a response. "Jace…" He looked up at her and she flushed at the erotic sight of him licking her. "G-Get inside… now…" She gritted her teeth to stifle a loud moan when he playfully bit down on her hard nub. She felt him move above her. His lips sought for hers and she moaned in satisfaction upon tasting herself on his lips. His left hand was still touching her most intimate part and when he dipped two fingers inside of her wet cavern, she bit on his lower lip to stop herself from screaming because of pleasure. She bucked her hips towards his the moment his hard arousal brushed on her lower abdomen.

"J-Jace… n-now…" She almost sounded like she was whining. She felt him smirk smugly against her lips.

"Get on fours, Iz…" His breath was so hot against her ear and his voice was so alluring she felt like his voice alone could make her come. She did what he asked and braced herself on the metal bars of the headboard. She could feel her legs shaking in anticipation as Jace moved smoothly behind her. His hands touched her back and for a moment, Jace took in the sight of her beautifully marked skin. He had always admired Isabelle. She was strong and yet her heart was always open for them. Her brothers. He almost stopped at that time. Isabelle was his sister. Hell, he even saw her more of his sister than Clary was. But it wasn't like it was the first time he had Isabelle. He was her first. And he had her several times more after that first encounter. It all just changed when Clary arrived in his life. But it was alright. He and Isabelle already had a clear understanding of what they have. They didn't try to pursue anything beyond that.

Jace placed his right hand on her hip to steady her as he guided himself into her hot core. Isabelle cried out and grabbed onto the bars harder as Jace begun thrusting. She could feel him completely. The way he could make her feel so complete and… incredibly full was amazing. It just felt so good when she was with him. The room was filled with their ragged breathing, muffled moans, and the sound of their slick bodies fitting and slipping onto each other. She was so blinded by pleasure, she couldn't see anything… She couldn't seem to hear anything as well. All she could do was feel him. Feel Jace take her with reckless abandon.

Soon, she felt his weight settle on the length of her back as he held her against him. She could feel his thrusts quickening to that familiar inhuman pace. The coil in her lower abdomen got tighter and tighter with every thrust and she found herself gripping the sheets to the extent of tearing them. His mouth was hot at the back of her neck as he placed a wet kiss on her skin from time to time. "J-Jace!" She bit her lower lip until it bled when he bit down on her shoulder. Her body tightened around him and she felt like all her muscles contracted at the same time to the point of almost breaking then relaxed all at once. She fell limply against the soft mattress beneath her and then she felt him tensed on top of her. He growled her name sexily right on her ear and she felt him grow even harder inside her before he finally let go. She moaned in contentment at the feeling of his warm seed spreading like wild fire inside her.

They lay there for a moment, basking in the afterglow. He was still inside of her so he immediately felt it when she started crying again. He used all the strength he could muster to pull himself out of her and turned her to face him. She covered her face with her hands as she cried. She hid herself away from him using her arms as her shield and it actually looked like she was shielding her face from the burning heat of the sun. Jace had no idea what he should do. He just found himself pulling her in his arms and let her cry on his shoulder.

Sometime during the night, he moved a hand to touch his face. His hand came away wet and he figured it was his own tears. He wanted to cry so badly when he discovered Max's death but his tears wouldn't fall for some reason… At least that night he was finally able to do so. He also learned that it was not enough to try to forget. The pain was still there. Its presence as clear as before. And as he glared dangerously at the dark shadows on the ceiling of Isabelle's bedroom, all he could think about was Sebastian Verlac would pay.

I really just wanted a scene in City of Glass where in Jace comforts Isabelle. But then… Things got steamy in my imagination so uhhh…

Jace and Isabelle have always been sexy characters to me so I can't help it but to pair them up in this way from time to time. Though I don't really mind Clary. I just like Isabelle better ^_^ I might write a oneshot of Jonathan/Sebastian and Isabelle, so hopefully you guys will look forward to that. Thanks for reading and please do review!