CaBiN fEvEr!
by Tigan-Ada
Megatron's intact optic twitches for the fifty-third time that evening. Isaac rubs his oily hair in frustration – he knows how the severed Cybertronian head feels, confiscated in what feels like NOTHING. There's things to do yet his brain is confounded and won't cooperate. He's fidgeting, shifting, unable to focus…
"Professor…" the voice rumbles in a distant confusion…
Isaac looks his way with blurry vision.
"I… I've got a virus…"
Isaac blinks.
"I'VE OBTAINED CABIN FEVER!"
"…I'VE GOT IT TOO!"
Then in unison they both shout in maniacal delight, "CABIN FEVEEEEEER!"
With his access to plenty of the technology within his grasp, Megatron unsoundly turns on some flashing disco lights and inexorably sends some short drones into a dance.
Sumdac grabs his head – his messy hair, unclean face and cluttered brain, "I've got cabin fever – it's burning in my brain!"
"I've got cabin fever – it's DrIvInG mE iNsAaAaNe!"
The drones link arms and sing as they dance, "We've got cabin fever, we're flippin' our bandanas – been stuck in here so long that we have simply gone BANANAS!"
Thanks to Megatron's body-less state, his urges to move instead precipitated into various doohickeys and mechanical devices inside the room – and inevitably all down through the Sumdac Tower, causing everyone to slowly back away and evacuate the building…
Inside the laboratory, everything is in a state of PARTYING! Colourful lights randomly move all over the place, with music blaring and drones dancing – with Isaac enthusiastically joining in while Megatron looks like he's on cloud nine! The erratic and energetic movements and random programs kicking in all but reveal that if Megatron had a body, he'd be moving it… possibly like a hula girl… O_o.
The two only sentient beings in the lab start to sing…
"We – we – we've got cabin fever, we've lost what sense we had! We've got cabin fever – WE'RE ALL GOING MAAAD!"
...
...
Optimus Prime doesn't know what to make of it.
There he was, just minding his own business on his recharge berth thinking, slightly noticing that a few drones and robotic arms embedded into the walls began to move oddly – and before he knew it the whole place is, in a word, DANCING.
He just sat there… blinking his optics…
Leaning to the side so he can look past the massive robotic arm in his way, he spies Prowl trying to dodge the dance moves of virtually EVERYTHING in the base, "Prowl…? Uhm…"
"Permission to BLAME BUMBLEBEE! …Sir?"
"It wasn't my fault!" comes a far away and slightly panicky reply.
"WHHOOOOOOAAAAaaaaaaaa…?!" a sudden crash that shakes the very ground clues Optimus that Bulkhead just took a fall.
"Grab your partner by the ears-"
'A song?' before Optimus could make sense of it something hard grabs him by the wrists and yanks him hard off his seat to the left.
"-Lasoo him to the wheel."
Being twisted and twined forcefully into dance moves, Optimus had no time to try and pry himself free from the massive robotic arms clinging to him.
"Do-se-do, step on his toe," Optimus promptly yelps at the slam of metal pressuring his poor foot, "Listen to him squeal!"
"I'm too old for thiiiiiiiiiiiis!" Ratchet's growling complaint is enough to guess that he's stuck dancing with something too. A loud crack makes Ratchet's tone change to a pleasant surprise, "Oh…! That hit the spot…"
"Allemande left, allemande right, it's time to sail or sink!"
That only makes Optimus nervous and he tries to figure out how to get himself out of this… when suddenly his feet leave the floor.
"Swing your partner over the side – drop him in the drink! Heeeheee!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh…" and that's all they hear of Optimus Prime before he sails through the many walls in their base.
...
...
Sari stares dumbfounded at her twin tutorbots as their voices and attitude changes almost instantly, their poses becoming less of a teacher mode and more of an… aristocrat…?
"We've got cabin fever," one tells her as if it were according.
"No ifs, ands or buts," sounds normal enough…
"We're disorientated…" she backs off as its servo lifts towards something explosive.
"And demented."
And then, as she dives behind her solid rock desk, they both cry out, "AND A LITTLE NUTS!"
Kaboooom!
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...
Lugnut blinks his five optics as Blitzwing begins to sing in his native German tongue (why alien have human language?) – and suddenly his red hot expression flips into his random one, that euphoric smile plastered to his faceless face as he sings.
"We were sailing SAILIIIING the wind was on our siiide!" then the frozen cold one switches into place, staring icicles at Lugnut until he felt his backbone infrastructure suffer a chill, "And then it offlined."
...
...
There is a definite dint the size of a small car in the side of Optimus' helm. Yes. That's definitely it.
Bulkhead's discerning couldn't help him to look away from his leader that had recently gotten up from the huge hole he made and began joining in with the InSaNiTy, smiling like there was nothing wrong!
Bulkhead couldn't help but feel uneasy of an unstable and apparently wide open to whatever-is-causing-everything-to-glitch Optimus Prime – and secretly hopes this'll sort itself out… but knew better of it. He needs to alarm Ratchet… once he can get up himself, held down by overenthusiastic televisions and game consoles that dance upon his large back like a centre stage.
"I've got cabin fever – I think I've lost my grip… I'd like to get my hands on whoever wrote this script!" sang the computer components all across the base… or perhaps a very irritated Ratchet – he couldn't tell with all the noise going around.
And then the thing that shocked him most: Optimus whips out his axe and OPENS HIS MOUTH-!
"I-I-I-I-I was floating neath the tropic moooooon, and dreaming of a blue lagooooon – now I'm as crazy as a looooon!" Optimus sing songs while using his AXE as a guitar and hula dancing that aft like no one – or a traumatized Bulkhead – is looking…
Suddenly all affected devices, drones and even Optimus stop the dancing but sing in a loud, obviously elated voice, "CABIN FEVER HAS RAVAGED ALL ABOARD!"
...
...
Needless to say Megatron and Isaac are having the time of their lives, oblivious to the madness and havoc and confusion they were creating with it.
The two shout in unison, "THIS ONCE PROUD VESSEL HAS BECOME A FLOATING PSYCHO WARD!"
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...
"Megatron would not approve!" Lugnut shouts, waving his iron fist at Blitzwing… but to no result.
"WE WERE SAILING – SAAIILING – HEADING WHO KNOWS WHERE!"
"We were heading to the last known coordinates of the Nemesis!" he nearly looses his voice and his arm feels stiff from being waved so much.
...
...
"AND NOW THOUGH WE'RE ALL HEEEERREEEE – WE'RE NOT ALL THERE!" came the shout from Sumdac's lab.
Everything seems to get out of hand – drones committing random acts of dance while Isaac runs around shouting, 'whooop!' and Megatron… well… considering the things he's hooked up to his own madness is quite apparent. Ah if he could smile… but alas, he's only a decapitated head.
Confetti floats down from the roof out of NOWHERE as the disco lights flash on and off.
Then they all posed for one last, "CABIN FEVER! AAAHHH!"
The 'cabin fever' virus had just then run out on its own somehow. The expense of energy and activity had flushed it out from Megatron… and slowly his one optic – that was so full of girlish giddiness – blinks, clears and grows wide. Everything slows to a calm as he lets his control of everything he had access to slip as the shock of what he'd done settles in. So much so he fails to realise he just had influence over a damaged Autobot.
Isaac notices the sudden lack of lights, movement and sound and blinks at his strange pose… his face goes red in humiliation! ..He's… going to go have a lie down…
He pulls himself to the door – oh how he aches.
Embarrassed, he unsurely turns to Megatron before leaving, "Ugh… I'm uh… good… goodnight…?"
He doesn't even know if it's night. Either way, Megatron doesn't respond – he just stares with his one aghast optic at nothing.
And that's how Isaac leaves him.
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...
Optimus' head hurts. That's the first thing that comes to him. Then something tackles him in the back and he collapses face-first onto the cluttered floor, all sorts of metallic objects beneath him making his landing all the more uncomfortable… and why was he on his feet before anyway?
"I got him!" comes Ratchet's tetchy voice above him.
"What…?" he tries to ask – his voice is hoarse and his vocal processors feel scathed… what's going on? The last thing he recalls is… being thrown through the walls… by maniacal, dancing machines.
Bumblebee and Prowl come running through the door while Bulkhead slowly gets himself up from the ground himself. That's a good idea – but when Optimus tries it he's forcefully held down.
"III don't think so," Ratchet advises… rather forcefully.
He doesn't feel up to it anyway. He's obviously been injured… judging by the throb of pain in the right side of his helm.
"Will boss-bot be okay?" Bumblebee asks, "As in… 'okay' okay?"
The young voice almost goes over his head. So, he's injured in some way? Of course he's injured. It feels like his own metallic skull has been cracked and pushed inwards, bending his right. Yes, he can tell all that just by feeling it.
"I'll manage," Ratchet's gruff voice doesn't sound very… convincingly concerned, "Hold still-!"
Then his systems go offline…
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...
Blitzwing rubs his face, "OOoOOOoOooooh… Was Megatron here a moment ago…?"
Lugnut snorts like a bull, glowering at the erratic Decepticon. Even though he seems back to 'normal', he would still like to give him a well-deserved kick just for good measures.
The icy cold face appears behind his hands, before suddenly switching to the ghoulishly random one, "OOOoooh! My head is SPINNING without the spinning…" and shrinks back.
If Lugnut didn't know any better, he'd guess that Blitzwing was expressing embarrassment the only way he knew how – by letting the random one take the fall, "What do you have to say for yourself!"
Steams hisses forth from the ends of his twin cannons and anger replaces his ecstatic smile – although the increase of red indicates embarrassment, "IT MEANS WE'RE CLOSE! NOW SHUT IT AND MOVE YOUR AFT! OR IMMA SING THAT SONG AGAIN!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
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...
When he reboots the first thing he notices is that his head hurts. The deju vu is almost disorientating… but this time he finds himself lying on his back… on his recharging berth… and the bright light of the day has dimmed. He guesses it's, perhaps, dusk…
…And he hears familiar voices outside of his dorm.
"…And then he went as insane as the rest of your earth technology," that's Ratchet's voice, "I checked what kind of signal it was that took hold of everything – it was definitely a powerful Cybertronian one, explaining why Optimus was affected at all when his circuits were… 'weakened'."
Optimus stares at the closed door. He tentatively touches the sore spot on his helm.
Isaac speaks up… sounding… unsure…? Guilty? He can't quite hear what he's saying, and then Isaac apparently leaves. So, uh… WHAT HAPPENED?!
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...
Starscream giggles like a little girl, watching his favourite Earth-bound show: The Muppet's in Treasure Island singing a most belated song. Ah, wouldn't it be funny if something like that really took place?
A horrible chill travels down the seeker's spinal cords, causing his wings to tremble.
…He shrugs it off and continues watching.
THE END