Brown vs Board of Education

by Paramount Estrogen

Not really Brown vs. Board of education, but it is a tale about the terror of education systems. The eldritch horrors known as International Baccalaureate, Advanced Placement, and College Board have infested this earth for too long. They must be purged, and the Church of Magnum will do it. Rated Not Safe for Anybody as it reveals the abominable face of educational systems.

The Covenant sat around the Altar of Madness. International Baccalaureate levitated beside the Altar of Madness, the Eternal Disc of Infinite Torment and Suffering, cross-legged. Advanced Placement sat across it in its swirling red robe weaved of the tears of a thousand failed AP students. It juggled it's five Spheres of Pain, casually gazing down the abyssal whirlpool in the center of the Altar of Madness, scanning the tormented expression of the millions of wailing souls, successfully memorizing each of their facial expression.

IB reached into its pockets and produced a platinum key: the Key of Seven. Grinning, it waved it above the table. A soul rose up, reaching its hand out towards they key. Laughing maniacally in a monstrous, low tone, it took away the platinum key and replaced it with a rusted key: the Key of One. Laughing even harder now, it waved its hand. A crimson blast of lightning struck the soul and it fell back into the wailing maelstrom of the altar, screaming the word seven.

"Not too bad IB," College Board said with its deep, guttural voice while shuffling its deck of cards, "the torment we sowed this year is indeed great. I can already sense a great harvest ahead of us."

Smiling, AP threw a torrent of fire into the altar. A series of screams accompanied the flames as it slowly spread across the platform. "I have sown hope amongst my victims. The Orb of Five glows radiant in front of them but when they reach it, I unveil the illusion and give them the gift of the putrid Orb of One. The harvest will be delicious indeed."

"I have successfully struck the illusion of a possibility for 2400 amongst the minds of the fools," College Board said as a grin crept across its abominably stitched mouth, "I can almost taste the nectar of sorrow as they see their score in the hundreds unraveling in front of them."

"Amateurs," IB said while polishing his seven keys, "Infinite torment awaits those that chases the seventh key. The disciples will tune their arcane scriptures and mundane analyses for hours. They will read mountains of tomes, gather oceans of knowledge, and seek advice from the wisest of mortals. They will chase for the platinum key, become slaves for it. They will seek it, they will pursue it, they will fail."

The many eyes scattered across IB's body took a quick glance around the chamber. AP and College Board levitated beside the altar caressing their own devices of torture. General Certificate of Education Advanced Level crouched somewhere beside them, its numerous limbs meddling with each other. Sighing, IB returned its gaze back onto the constellation of souls, silently savoring with its peers.