Title: Need to Know
Summary: Tony needs Gibbs to know the truth.
Disclaimer: NCIS is not mine. I'm just borrowing the concepts and characters for a little while.
Spoilers: 8.23 Swan Song and 8.24 Pyramid
A/N: I do not drink alcohol, so I hope what I've said about it/bourbon sounds somewhat realistic. GibbsRules read this for me, but all remaining mistakes are mine.
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The bourbon itself was cool, but as he took yet another sip, it blazed a trail from his throat to his stomach. After all these years of drinking the liquor, he thought he'd be used to the sensation by now, but it felt new each and every time.
Such was the case with another member of his small family dying. But, like the recurring newness of the burning of the alcohol down his throat, so were the feelings of loss, emptiness, and death – they always went together no matter how many times he experienced it. He ran his finger over the figures of the brightly painted flowers and leaves of the extra wood carving once again.
How many more losses would he have to endure before God saw fit to take him instead? Every day he fervently wished he would be taken instead of one of his team, but given the nature of their job he knows that it would be a difficult wish to fulfill. But, if the opportunity presented itself, he would gladly stand between Death and his team, his family. He would do anything to protect them and keep them safe, even if it meant the sacrifice of his own life.
He'd tried over the years to get Mike to quit smoking, but Franks was just as stubborn as him and kept up the habit regardless of what the consequences might someday be. And, that habit and those consequences would've killed him had his old boss not baited Cobb, the P2P killer, into a fight and paid for it with his life.
When he'd received the letter from Franks those months ago, and read its contents, it felt like his stomach had dropped down into his feet. His oldest friend dying… It had been a lot to take in, but at least this time he hadn't been blindsided with the news like he had been by the deaths of Kate, Jenny, and especially his beloved Shannon and Kelly.
With Mike and that letter, it meant that he had the time to prepare, time to do something to honor his longtime friend. Though, in the end, Franks' death had managed to blindside him anyway – quickly taken by a serial killer's scalpel plunged into his chest instead of slowly by the cancer eating away at his lungs.
"Boss?"
At the tentative attempt to get his attention, Gibbs' head snaps up and turns towards the top of the basement stairs where the voice had come from. DiNozzo. He hadn't even heard his front door or the steps made on the floor above him.
Inattention like that could get someone killed, he mused.
Tony was still standing there at the entry to the basement, waiting for permission to intrude into his boss' private space this time, instead of assuming he'd be welcomed. Gibbs debated for a moment and almost denied his senior agent access, but his gut told him to do otherwise.
He locked eyes with Tony and jerked his head to beckon his friend to enter the rest of the way. The little smile DiNozzo gave him in return before descending the stairs, made the intrusion into the thoughts of his mentor welcomed instead of unwanted.
As Tony made his way down, he threw back the last of his bourbon and swallowed, this time savoring that cool burn. Gibbs stood as his agent made his way over to grab the other chair and he reached for another glass, blowing out the dust before pouring a generous measure of alcohol into each. When his senior agent sat, he handed over a glass and was rewarded with another small smile.
They sat there in the silence both enjoying their drinks, but Gibbs could tell that his friend had a lot on his mind and gets the feeling that a new burden has recently been added to the broad, determined shoulders. But, before he can ask, Tony breaks the near silence.
"Cancer?"
Surprised by the lump in his throat, Gibbs can only nod.
"How long have you known?"
Swallowing a sip of bourbon to get his throat working again, he finally manages, "A while."
He reaches into his pocket to retrieve the letter he's been carrying around since before the funeral and holds it out towards Tony. An uncertain look crosses his friend's face and Gibbs gives the letter a little shake indicating that – Yes DiNozzo, you can read it.
He watches as the ex-cop reads the letter. His agent's face contorts to a look of pain and sorrow before reassembling itself into something more normal for him. Because of the obvious concern he has for his boss shining through though, it's not quite the usual carefree look but it's close. Tony eventually refolds the letter and hands it back to Gibbs.
"Boss, I—" he pauses and his brows crease momentarily before he resumes speaking. "Why didn't you tell us?"
It's a fair question; the team had come to love the cranky, old bastard too.
"You know Mike, he didn't want any pity or sympathy – couldn't stand that kind of stuff. Heck, I don't even think he told Layla or Amira, though I suspect they figured it out eventually."
Tony nods and sips his bourbon looking thoughtful. He indicates the left over carving on the workbench in front of Gibbs. "Those embellishments to Franks coffin, especially the Marine Corps emblem on the lid… It was some of the finest work I've ever seen of yours, Boss. Perhaps, the finest. Very fitting and proper."
Gibbs nods his thanks at the compliment. When he'd read that letter, the Unspoken Rule had come to mind and he'd known exactly what he'd needed to do, what he'd wanted to do.
You do what you have to for family.
The man who'd come to mean as much to him over the years as any of his blood family intrudes upon the near silence once again.
"I know what Mike meant to you, Gibbs. He helped you get Shannon and Kelly's killer," Gibbs notices that Tony pauses and winces a little at the words as if expecting a dressing down for mentioning the girls. The lead agent allows the words to go by without comment.
Looking relieved and a bit pleased, his friend continues. "He brought you into NCIS – NIS at the time – for which I'll be eternally grateful to the man. I don't think we'd have ever met otherwise."
His agent pauses briefly, looking almost grief-stricken at the thought of what might never have been. "He was your boss, your mentor, your friend, your family. I hope it's many, many years from now before I have to go through what you've been through recently."
The words and the strangled, choked tone to Tony's voice tear his eyes from the amber liquid he'd been swirling around in his glass. He'd always suspected that the man beside him, the man whom he depended upon and had guarded his six for nearly ten years now, had felt that way about him, the way that Gibbs felt in return. But, to have Tony actually say it out loud? He never thought he'd hear those words come from that mouth without a quip or movie quote to go with them.
He locks eyes with a slightly panicked looking DiNozzo and knows the other man is worried that he has overstepped the boundaries of their relationship and said something that would neither be well-received nor accepted.
Gibbs' expression softens as a genuine smile breaks out onto his face. "Likewise, Tony. Likewise."
The look of relief on Tony's face quickly turns into a flinch as Gibbs stands and lifts his hand. Instead of the head slap his senior agent was expecting, he gently pats his friend's cheek in a rare gesture of affection. Tony's eyes immediately open wide in surprise at the contact, but Gibbs can feel when his boy leans into it slightly. A final, lingering pat is given before Gibbs indicates the work area behind him.
"Help me clean up?" he asks.
Tony stands, takes off his jacket and starts rolling up his sleeves. "Sure, Boss."
The happy look on DiNozzo's face turns into a mischievous grin.
"Dinner later?"
Gibbs nods, "Sounds good."
"Cowboy-style steaks?"
"Next time," he promises and counters with, "Pizza, OK?"
"Always."
"The usual?" he questions with a smirk.
The look Tony gives him in return is worth it and he covers a chuckle with a sip of bourbon before turning to begin clearing his basement in preparation for the next project – whatever that may be.
They get to work and are at it steadily for at least 20 minutes before Gibbs' gut starts to niggle at him again. He stops and watches his friend move around the basement putting tools and other items away without having to ask where they belong. The man is seemingly oblivious to the observation, but Gibbs suspects Tony's aware of it to some degree.
He resumes cleaning his wood carving tools noticing that his agent's expression has transformed from his previous look of contentment to one that said his thoughts were in a quandary over something. And, from the recent addition of the tenseness now obvious in his agent's shoulders, it was something big.
Replacing the last wood carving tool back into its box, he casually asks, "What's on your mind, DiNozzo?"
His friend's back to him, Gibbs watches as Tony's shoulders visibly slump.
"They said the rest of the team wasn't supposed to know anything, but I can't do it like that again. I promised myself I wouldn't do that again, especially to you."
Tony stops and after several long moments, it doesn't seem like he's going to continue.
Gibbs walks over to the unusually still man and places a hand on a tense shoulder. His agent jumps slightly as if he'd forgotten anyone was there with him and therefore wasn't expecting the contact.
"Hey," Gibbs says forcibly turning Tony around to face him before placing his hands on his friend's shoulders. "You can talk to me." He grins a little and continues, "Usually I can't get you to stop."
He receives a slight upturn of one corner of Tony's mouth in response. His friend closes his eyes and takes a deep, almost shuddering breath. When Tony opens his eyes, Gibbs can see a decision has been made.
"Boss, I had a meeting with the new SecNav and Vance today. There's something I need to tell you…"
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The end.
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A/N: I'm aware that this ends abruptly, but I would rather not speculate at this time what is going to happen next season, so there will be no sequel or continuation of this story. Sorry.
Thanks for reading!