Title: Nightmares
Author: Skye Aerrow
Fandom: Torchwood
Rating: T for implied sex
Pairing: Jack x Ianto
Summary: It was a night like any other, but it was also one of the worst.
Disclaimer: I don t own Torchwood, and I am in no way affiliated with the BBC.
Nightmares
Jack and Ianto spent their nights at the Hub. They'd been sharing the same bed for a while. They were to infatuated with each other to spent any time apart. It was ridiculous for Ianto to go back to his apartment after they had sex. Sleeping at the Hub was convenient. They had both grown to enjoy the constant companionship.
It was a night like any other, but it was also one of the worst.
As Jack looked down at his unconscious partner, he wondered just how much longer they would get to be together. Ianto was mortal, not to mention human-one of the most fragile species in the universe-and his time on Earth was finite. Jack could live a thousand lifetimes, but Ianto only got one. And Jack would do his best to make whatever time they had left absolutely unforgettable.
The air conditioner clicked on above the bed, and Ianto groaned in his sleep. Jack pulled the blanker tighter around both of them in an effort to shield Ianto from the cold. Of the two of them, Ianto was the sounder sleeper. Jack seldom slept through the night. He'd hardly slept at all until Ianto came into the picture. That night, though, sleep eluded him completely while Ianto dozed beside him. Jack was almost jealous of Ianto's brief reprieve.
Then, a muscle twitched in Ianto's arm. Jack recognized the beginnings of a nightmare. He scooted closed to Ianto and cupped his face, trying to soothe him without waking him up. Sometimes, Ianto brought himself out of the nightmare. He pushed the negative thoughts away and replaced them with more pleasant imagery. Jack knew this because he watched Ianto while he slept. He saw the changes in his face-how the jaw clenched and went slack, how the erratic movement of his eyelids went from rapid to almost controlled.
Clearly, that night wasn't going to be one of those in which Ianto's slumber was undistrubed. When his cheek twitched and tensed up under Jack's touch, it was clear the nightmare was getting much worse. His breathing came in shallow pants, and sweat beaded on his skin in spite of the chill in the room. Jack shook Ianto lightly, but he didn't wake up.
"Ianto," said Jack. "Ianto, wake up. You're having a bad dream again."
But Ianto didn't stir. All that happened was that he turned over on his side, facing the wall, but still in the throes of a nightmare. Jack moved even closer to him. Then, he wrapped his arms around Ianto's waist and tried again.
"Wake up," Jack said. "You need to wake up."
Still, Ianto didn't move. Instead, he began muttering snatches of unintelligible language as he thrashed in Jack's embrace. He couldn't get out. He couldn't wake up. He was going through an unseen torment and Jack couldn't save him. That was the worst part-that Jack couldn't save him.
"Ianto, please," Jack said.
Finally, Ianto's eyelids flew open. He sat bolt upright in bed and gripped the sheets tightly. While his eyes darted around the room, Jack noticed that they were bloodshot. He wasn't getting enough rest. The nightmares were tearing him apart. As Ianto's gaze fell on Jack, his shoulders slumped. "Jack," he said. "Oh, God."
"I'm here." Jack sat up next to Ianto and put his arm around his shoulder. After his breathing returned to normal, Ianto sighed.
"I'm so tired," he said. "I am absolutely knackered."
"I know you are," said Jack. "Go back to sleep. I'll hold you."
Ianto shuddered. "It was Lisa," he said. "They're all about Lisa, and I've no idea why, but God, Jack. They're making me miserable."
"I know," Jack said. "I know, Ianto. It's all right. It's over now."
Ianto broke down before he could reply. Despite his knowing that the nightmare wasn't real, heavy tears streamed down his face. And once again, Jack felt completely helpless. He could comfort Ianto with his presence, but there was nothing he could do to stop the fear and the pain that ate away at Ianto. He put both of his arms around his partner and held him as he sobbed. As he cried, Jack felt his heart sink. He hated seeing Ianto upset.
After a while, Ianto stopped crying. Jack held him tight against his chest, whispering comforting words into his ear until he quieted completely. He had grown accustomed to saving Ianto from his nightmares-if only Ianto could save Jack from his. Jack pushed the thought aside and kissed Ianto's cheek. "You're okay now. It was only a dream. You're safe here with me."
Ianto kissed him on the mouth. "Thank you," he said. "I don't thank you enough."
"I don't do enough for you," Jack said. "Sometimes, I feel so helpless."
Yes, it was the helplessness that drove Jack absolutely mental. He was helpless in the present to save Ianto from his fear and the darkness of his past, and he hated his lack of control. He could never stop the nightmares-he could help Ianto come out of them, but never entirely. Moreover, the uncertain truth behind the future nearly sent Jack reeling when he thought about it. Even as Ianto drifted back to sleep and he lay down beside him, the question nagged at the back of his mind.
He felt helpless now regarding the nightmares, and those were temporary things. How would he feel sometime down the road when he held Ianto's body in his arms, powerless against the ravages of death?
Jack slept fitfully that night. He tossed and turned so many times that Ianto had to wake him up and tell him he was having a nightmare. It was just a bad dream, he said. If only that were true.