Disclaimer applies.
Note: OKay, this is short, and will be continued. This story goes parellel to my "You Are Loved" fic as well as another which I'm still working on.....It's not put out as a chapter because it ISN'T a chapter-it's just....oi, read it and find out. ^_^
CAN'T FORGIVE MYSELF
Duo whistled a catchy American tune as he bounced around the kitchen, gathering food ingredients and setting them out on the already cluttered kitchen table. Unnoticed in the doorway, Heero let a small smile on his face as he watched his long haired lover. Duo was so perfect; so bright; so cheerful....Heero didn't deserve him, and Duo deserved someone much better than a stoic Perfect Soldier.
Yes, Duo deserved better-and that is why Heero had to leave him.
Heero's expression hardened and he clenched his jaws, preparing himself for the most difficult battle he would ever fight-against his heart. "Duo." he said, announcing his presence and stepping into the brightly lit kitchen.
Duo whirled, a smiling brightly as he stopped whistling and saw Wing's pilot standing in the doorway. Heero's heart got in the first hit at the smile-Duo was obviously so glad to see him, maybe he shouldn't......no. Heero loved Duo, so he would do what was best for Duo-no matter if Duo didn't know the reason.
"Hi Hee-chan!" Duo said brightly, setting the thing of flour he was holding on the table. Heero watched him without expression. "Whats up? I'm just gonna make some chocolate chip cookies-I know you like them..." THe American skirted around the table and practically jumped onto Heero, leaning forward for a kiss. Heero forced himself to move his face aside and brush Duo off of him, even though every fiber in his body protested the actions.
A small frown formed on Duo's face-point 2 for Heero's heart. "Heero, whats wrong?" Duo said, sounding uncertain as Heero pulled away.
"Us." Heero said coldly.
"Wha..?" Duo's cheer slipped the rest of the way, as hurt and fear forced their way into his eyes. "Us?" he repeated softly.
"Yes. We're wrong. Your wrong. You take nothing seriously-not love, not me, not life....you deserve to die alone,"
NO! Heero's mind, heart and soul cried out at his words, but the dark haired boy ignored their protests. He had to do this-he had to do it for Duo. Duo would be better without him....he could lie, he had been for years, this was no different....Yet, it WAS! It was different...
Tears weld in Duo's violet eyes as he watched his lover, not knowing of the inner battle that threatened to tear the other pilot apart. "Seriously?" He repeated, sounding numb. "You think that I'm not serious? Heero, I LOVE you-I'm serious about that!"
The words tore at Heero....let it go, his mind begged. Your happy with him, he's happy with you, let it go....
"No, I don't think you are." Heero's words were hollow, painful. "I can't stay with you. I need to leave."
A tear trailed down Duo's cheek as his koi turned to leave-Heero couldn't stay, couldn't see his angel cry. He had to get away now, he had to be strong...for Duo. Slwoly, his heart breaking anew with each step. Behind him, he heard a clatter, and crash. Heero almost turned to make sure his koi-no, not his koi any longer...Duo-was all right, but he couldn't. Keep walking, keep walking, otherwise you'll never leave.
He made it outside, but could go no further before he broke down. Falling to his knees, Heero began to sob, loudly, openly. He had pushed away the one person he loved, his one chance at happiness....He didn't deserve to live. Not after what he had done to Duo.....he didn't deserve anything anymore.....
Note: OKay, this is short, and will be continued. This story goes parellel to my "You Are Loved" fic as well as another which I'm still working on.....It's not put out as a chapter because it ISN'T a chapter-it's just....oi, read it and find out. ^_^
CAN'T FORGIVE MYSELF
Duo whistled a catchy American tune as he bounced around the kitchen, gathering food ingredients and setting them out on the already cluttered kitchen table. Unnoticed in the doorway, Heero let a small smile on his face as he watched his long haired lover. Duo was so perfect; so bright; so cheerful....Heero didn't deserve him, and Duo deserved someone much better than a stoic Perfect Soldier.
Yes, Duo deserved better-and that is why Heero had to leave him.
Heero's expression hardened and he clenched his jaws, preparing himself for the most difficult battle he would ever fight-against his heart. "Duo." he said, announcing his presence and stepping into the brightly lit kitchen.
Duo whirled, a smiling brightly as he stopped whistling and saw Wing's pilot standing in the doorway. Heero's heart got in the first hit at the smile-Duo was obviously so glad to see him, maybe he shouldn't......no. Heero loved Duo, so he would do what was best for Duo-no matter if Duo didn't know the reason.
"Hi Hee-chan!" Duo said brightly, setting the thing of flour he was holding on the table. Heero watched him without expression. "Whats up? I'm just gonna make some chocolate chip cookies-I know you like them..." THe American skirted around the table and practically jumped onto Heero, leaning forward for a kiss. Heero forced himself to move his face aside and brush Duo off of him, even though every fiber in his body protested the actions.
A small frown formed on Duo's face-point 2 for Heero's heart. "Heero, whats wrong?" Duo said, sounding uncertain as Heero pulled away.
"Us." Heero said coldly.
"Wha..?" Duo's cheer slipped the rest of the way, as hurt and fear forced their way into his eyes. "Us?" he repeated softly.
"Yes. We're wrong. Your wrong. You take nothing seriously-not love, not me, not life....you deserve to die alone,"
NO! Heero's mind, heart and soul cried out at his words, but the dark haired boy ignored their protests. He had to do this-he had to do it for Duo. Duo would be better without him....he could lie, he had been for years, this was no different....Yet, it WAS! It was different...
Tears weld in Duo's violet eyes as he watched his lover, not knowing of the inner battle that threatened to tear the other pilot apart. "Seriously?" He repeated, sounding numb. "You think that I'm not serious? Heero, I LOVE you-I'm serious about that!"
The words tore at Heero....let it go, his mind begged. Your happy with him, he's happy with you, let it go....
"No, I don't think you are." Heero's words were hollow, painful. "I can't stay with you. I need to leave."
A tear trailed down Duo's cheek as his koi turned to leave-Heero couldn't stay, couldn't see his angel cry. He had to get away now, he had to be strong...for Duo. Slwoly, his heart breaking anew with each step. Behind him, he heard a clatter, and crash. Heero almost turned to make sure his koi-no, not his koi any longer...Duo-was all right, but he couldn't. Keep walking, keep walking, otherwise you'll never leave.
He made it outside, but could go no further before he broke down. Falling to his knees, Heero began to sob, loudly, openly. He had pushed away the one person he loved, his one chance at happiness....He didn't deserve to live. Not after what he had done to Duo.....he didn't deserve anything anymore.....