'Fuck you, you self-centered, woe-is-me, I'm-too-good-for-you bastard,' Relena thought to herself. Once, she had thought that she loved him. Once, he had been all that mattered to her. Once, she would have went to the ends of the earth in pursuit of him. But no longer. "You hear me, Heero Yuy? Fuck you!" she screamed. Relena was sick of it; sick of him. Sick of his head games. Sick of the way he was like a virus, slowly destroying her from the inside out. She was slowly realizing that she was nothing more than a convenience for him. If he needed an ego boost, she was there, clinging onto his arm and making him feel important and loved. If he needed someone to take care of him, she had been there to do that. But the truth was that he never loved her. Not in the way she needed or wanted. He had said that he did, but they were only empty words. He "loved" her only when he was getting something in return. The Perfect Soldier had always had his own agenda; and sometimes it was like there were many entities living inside of him. At one moment, he could be the world's sweetest guy, bringing her flowers and uttering those sweet nothings; the next he grew withdrawn, cold and bitter. The bottom line was that Relena was sick of it, and not going to endure any more.
The year was After Colony 199. Three years since the defeat of Mariemeya, and surprisingly it had been peaceful since then. Pacifism was finally starting to take hold in people's hearts. Many of the mobile suits and mobile dolls had been destroyed, and even the Gundams had been carefully hidden. Everyone, both on Earth and in the colonies had gone back to leading a normall life. The last Relena heard, Trowa and Quatre were together, as were Wu-fei and Sally Po. She was happy for them, and wished them better luck in love than she had. At the moment, she'd prefer any of them, even Sally, over Heero.
Relena sighed, wondering just how to break it to him. Not that she cared so much about hurting him, it was more that she feared for her life if he became angry and unstable. There was no telling what a deranged Heero might do, or who he might kill. Though, in the best case scenario, he'd not care, and just find some other onna to utter sweet nothings to. Then again, this *was* the boy who held a gun to her head several times, heaven knows what had stopped him from pulling the trigger on most of those occasions. And, as far as she knew, he still carried a gun with him, because of his paranoia. Which was another thing she was sick of. Even though she knew that numerous battles and injuries had taken their toll on him, there was no excuse for how scarred he claimed to be by them. Everyone else had gotten over it and moved on, but Heero had just internalized it all, and often told her that it had crushed his spirit. Which was just bloody immature, to not accept and deal with it all, and use the pain as an aide in growth. And heaven knew *what* secrets he kept from her...
Relena shook her head as if to silence her inner nag. Enough was enough. The best way was going to be like removing a Bandaid: it would hurt less if it was done quickly. Once the initial shock wore off, it wouldn't hurt. Resolutely, she nodded. The next time Heero called, she was going to tell him right out to fuck off, and leave her the hell alone. In the past few years, she had grown a lot, both chronologically and mentally. She wasn't a sheltered, spoiled little princess anymore, and she wasn't afraid to be alone. There was a difference between alone and lonely, after all, and sometimes when she was with Heero, she felt lonliest. She was sick of feeling dragged down by him; he had become the proverbial 'ball and chain'.
The phone rang. Naturally, it would be him. He'd pick now to call. "Hello?" Relena answered, guardedly.
"It's me. What're you doing tonight?"
"I had plans to go out to dinner, actually, Heero."
"Oh? With who?"
"People." There was a silence on the other end of the line, and Relena used it to her advantage. "And even if I didn't, there's going to be no more dinners for us, Heero. I don't love you. We're over." More silence. "Heero?"
"Yeah?"
"Did you hear what I said?"
"Hai."
"Well?"
"Well what? What the hell do you expect me to say, Relena?! That's it for us. After four fucking years, we just don't exist anymore?! I hope for your sake that you're only kidding me, or else you're going to have hell to pay!"
"I'm not kidding," Relena informed him, her tone icy. "I've grown to hate you, you self-absorbed, contemptuous, spoiled, immature, escapist bastard. This is the end. Goodbye, Heero. I have a restraining order against you, don't attempt to come near me or contact me." With that, she hung up the phone. Not only had she opened the door, she'd walked through it, slammed it behind her, and put about fifty locks on it. The phone rang again, she immediately picked it up. "Go away," she growled into the receiver.
"Matte," Heero begged. "Can you give me an explaination? Just tell me what I did wrong, onegai."
"Well, for one, you use me. You're only loving when you want to be that way. When you want to escape, you retreat into a cold, brooding shell, and become unresponsive. For another, you're so immature and stubborn; you never listen to advice I try to give you, and you always stubbornly believe that you're the only one who's right. Is that enough, or should I continue?"
"Do go on."
"Fine. For another thing, you're goddamn paranoid. Of everything! The war is over! But some part of you stubbornly refuses to acknowledge that. And how you tell me 'I love you'. Those are the emptiest words I've ever heard. You say them to try and change my mind about something, or to make things alright. I hear them far too often; from your mouth they mean nothing anymore. That's another thing. *We* mean nothing anymore. You won't challenge me when I need it, you won't be there for me when I need it, you won't ask about things I need you to pry out of me. You're afraid to open up and trust me, and to let me open up. But no more. You've lost your chance. I'm done now, Heero. Goodbye."
With that Relena hung up the phone. The end. The end of them. She felt like she had just lost 190 pounds of dead weight. Grabbing her coat, she slipped out the door to go downtown and rent a movie. And, she was going to watch it with the two best guys around: Ben and Jerry.
The year was After Colony 199. Three years since the defeat of Mariemeya, and surprisingly it had been peaceful since then. Pacifism was finally starting to take hold in people's hearts. Many of the mobile suits and mobile dolls had been destroyed, and even the Gundams had been carefully hidden. Everyone, both on Earth and in the colonies had gone back to leading a normall life. The last Relena heard, Trowa and Quatre were together, as were Wu-fei and Sally Po. She was happy for them, and wished them better luck in love than she had. At the moment, she'd prefer any of them, even Sally, over Heero.
Relena sighed, wondering just how to break it to him. Not that she cared so much about hurting him, it was more that she feared for her life if he became angry and unstable. There was no telling what a deranged Heero might do, or who he might kill. Though, in the best case scenario, he'd not care, and just find some other onna to utter sweet nothings to. Then again, this *was* the boy who held a gun to her head several times, heaven knows what had stopped him from pulling the trigger on most of those occasions. And, as far as she knew, he still carried a gun with him, because of his paranoia. Which was another thing she was sick of. Even though she knew that numerous battles and injuries had taken their toll on him, there was no excuse for how scarred he claimed to be by them. Everyone else had gotten over it and moved on, but Heero had just internalized it all, and often told her that it had crushed his spirit. Which was just bloody immature, to not accept and deal with it all, and use the pain as an aide in growth. And heaven knew *what* secrets he kept from her...
Relena shook her head as if to silence her inner nag. Enough was enough. The best way was going to be like removing a Bandaid: it would hurt less if it was done quickly. Once the initial shock wore off, it wouldn't hurt. Resolutely, she nodded. The next time Heero called, she was going to tell him right out to fuck off, and leave her the hell alone. In the past few years, she had grown a lot, both chronologically and mentally. She wasn't a sheltered, spoiled little princess anymore, and she wasn't afraid to be alone. There was a difference between alone and lonely, after all, and sometimes when she was with Heero, she felt lonliest. She was sick of feeling dragged down by him; he had become the proverbial 'ball and chain'.
The phone rang. Naturally, it would be him. He'd pick now to call. "Hello?" Relena answered, guardedly.
"It's me. What're you doing tonight?"
"I had plans to go out to dinner, actually, Heero."
"Oh? With who?"
"People." There was a silence on the other end of the line, and Relena used it to her advantage. "And even if I didn't, there's going to be no more dinners for us, Heero. I don't love you. We're over." More silence. "Heero?"
"Yeah?"
"Did you hear what I said?"
"Hai."
"Well?"
"Well what? What the hell do you expect me to say, Relena?! That's it for us. After four fucking years, we just don't exist anymore?! I hope for your sake that you're only kidding me, or else you're going to have hell to pay!"
"I'm not kidding," Relena informed him, her tone icy. "I've grown to hate you, you self-absorbed, contemptuous, spoiled, immature, escapist bastard. This is the end. Goodbye, Heero. I have a restraining order against you, don't attempt to come near me or contact me." With that, she hung up the phone. Not only had she opened the door, she'd walked through it, slammed it behind her, and put about fifty locks on it. The phone rang again, she immediately picked it up. "Go away," she growled into the receiver.
"Matte," Heero begged. "Can you give me an explaination? Just tell me what I did wrong, onegai."
"Well, for one, you use me. You're only loving when you want to be that way. When you want to escape, you retreat into a cold, brooding shell, and become unresponsive. For another, you're so immature and stubborn; you never listen to advice I try to give you, and you always stubbornly believe that you're the only one who's right. Is that enough, or should I continue?"
"Do go on."
"Fine. For another thing, you're goddamn paranoid. Of everything! The war is over! But some part of you stubbornly refuses to acknowledge that. And how you tell me 'I love you'. Those are the emptiest words I've ever heard. You say them to try and change my mind about something, or to make things alright. I hear them far too often; from your mouth they mean nothing anymore. That's another thing. *We* mean nothing anymore. You won't challenge me when I need it, you won't be there for me when I need it, you won't ask about things I need you to pry out of me. You're afraid to open up and trust me, and to let me open up. But no more. You've lost your chance. I'm done now, Heero. Goodbye."
With that Relena hung up the phone. The end. The end of them. She felt like she had just lost 190 pounds of dead weight. Grabbing her coat, she slipped out the door to go downtown and rent a movie. And, she was going to watch it with the two best guys around: Ben and Jerry.