Fix It
Disclaimer: Only the plot belongs to me! All characters belong to the fabulous J.K Rowling. Oh, and there's a lot of swearing.
"Oh shitting hell!" Draco yelled from his dorm room. "Oh, why me?! Honestly, WHY ME? What did I EVER do to deserve this HELL?!" Theodore Nott sauntered into Draco's room, attracted to the cacophony of noise Draco was making.
"What is it this time?" Theodore sighed.
"My fucKING ROBE, NOTT. MY GOD DAMN ROBE!"
"What about your god damn robe?" Theodore asked, quietly. Draco tended to overreact like this. It was best to stay calm. This was the tenth time this sort of thing had happened to Theodore this week, and he had decided to try and not care as much.
"IT'S RIPPED. RIPPED I SAY. RIGHT IN THE… AREA." Draco violently thrusted his robe up into the air, showing the large gaping hole that was unmissable, and not in the best of areas. It was right where his butt was, and, although Draco, like all other students, wore trousers underneath (so nothing obscene would be showing), Draco still believed it to be the worst thing to have happened to him since about 2 weeks ago (when an owl shat on his head).
"Oh, that's hilarious!" Theodore sniggered to herself. "It's a literal arsehole. It's a hole in your arse area. Sorry, mate, but that's fucking hilarious."
"IT'S NOT HILARIOUS."
"Um," Theodore replied, raising a finger. "Yes it is."
"FUCK OFF, NOTT."
"Sure thing, Dracina. Before I leave, may I ask what the fuck you're going to do about the arsehole?"
"I don't fucking know!" Draco snapped, throwing his ragged robe onto his bed at such a speed it made his distinctively white-blond hair stand up, defying the large amounts of gel Draco had smothered into it this morning.
"Well, I know of one person who can fix it. She can use something called a 'sewing machine'."
"What in Merlin's name is that?!" Draco enquired, trying to pretend to not care, but, in actual fact, he would do anything to get the gaping hole out of his beloved robe.
"I don't know! But all I know is, I got a hole in the crotch area of my trousers this one time. I took it to her to get it fixed, and BAM, no more hole." Theodore started to leave Draco's dorm room. "But you don't seem interested, so maybe not." As Theodore's hand laid on the door knob to close the door, Draco suddenly stopped pretending to not care.
"Wait!" Draco told him. "Who is this person?"
"Oh," Theodore laughed. "You won't want to know."
"Tell me who it is, man, or I'll hex you!" Draco threatened, taking out his wand from his back pocket and pointing it at Theodore.
"Alright, alright!" Theodore said, raising his hands in a surrendering position. "Do you REALLY want to know?"
"YES!"
"Alright fine," Theodore said. "Hermione Granger."
There was a moment's pause. Draco breathed in, and breathed out again.
"Oh fuck no."