Title: Forgotten Feelings.
Chapter one.
Disclaimer.
Amu and characters of Shugo Chara are © to Peach Pit.
Bold = Speech.
Italics = Thought.
Authors note at the bottom of the page.
Amu's Pov.
Glancing up from my current word document, I narrowed my eyes at the blinking IM box. I knew that it was Utau trying to contact me for at least the twelfth time today. With a sigh and a few impatient grumbles I swept the escaped pink strands from my face and double clicked. Sure enough Utau was pissed, as was to be expected! She was getting married to my best friend in a week and I had been neglecting every meeting and high pitched squeal moment due to personal reasons.
There where at least five threatening statements awaiting me when my eyes returned to the screen and I figured that now would have to be the right time to reply. Strangely enough I hadn't known Utau that long, only a matter of months really, and yet she felt like an extension of me. Of course Kukai hadn't known her that long either, but they claim it was love at first sight and after seeing them together I honestly believed them.
Sometimes, just sometimes I wish that Tadase would look at me like that. He would be the personal reason I mentioned earlier, I felt so guilty but at the moment being around normal couples only opened my eyes further to how abnormal my relationship with Tadase was, and that hurt. But I would not allow myself to retreat further into my misery, Utau and Kukai where my best friends and they deserved happiness. I made an oath there and then that no matter how I felt I would not ruin one more wedding plan.
With my new found strength and determination I glanced back to my flashing IM box with a still ranting Utau.
Utau: Are you seriously still going to ignore me?
Utau: …. I will have your head for this you know!
Utau: What kind of maid of honour would do this to the bride?
Utau: Okay I didn't want to do this but…
Utau: Kukai told me your secret hobby, Stop writing your smutty romance stories and start being a friend!
That caught my attention; I stared at the screen blankly pushing my thick rimmed glasses further up my nose, so she knew. Kukai never could keep a secret; I knew that he read it! Sappy devious pervert, when I get my hands on him oh boy was he in trouble! There were of course more pressing matters at hand and so I began the long task of appeasing Utau.
The conversation was long and dull and somehow ended in me agreeing to go to lunch with her and a few of the other important people involved in the wedding, she always managed to twist me around her little finger. Finally content Utau said goodnight and I logged off my messenger, I was having a hard enough time writing as it was, I took comfort however in the fact that it wasn't entirely my fault; I hadn't had inspiration in such a long time, how is a girl supposed to write about love if she isn't sure how it's supposed to feel.
Frustrated and more than a little tired I slammed my laptop closed and stumbled my way to bed, as I launched myself into the thick covers I foolishly checked my phone and yet again was met by disappointment, he didn't even say goodnight anymore. Slamming my mobile on the side table I looked out of my balcony windows to see a sparkling sky, and then sleep took me.
A persistent buzzing floated its way through my subconscious and no matter how I twisted or turned it would not stop, slowly I awoke and came to realise that the buzzing was my phone, shame I was so sure I had put it on silent too. I was about to slam my phone shut until I noticed the caller ID. Tadase Kun I breathed silently to myself, he's finally calling me. Excitedly I flipped the phone open but the returning response was less than favourable.
"Amu Chan your friend just rang me; we are apparently late for a luncheon… It would help if I knew about these things in future, it's not proper for me to be late." He sounded more than a little irritated with me, but that didn't really come as much of a surprise. He was always angry lately.
I sighed to myself, today was the first time in a month that we had spoken to each other and he was more concerned about his appearance and what was proper than how I was, typical. I of course didn't tell him what I was truly feeling and instead told myself that work was stressful for him and that when everything settled down we would be just fine.
"I'm so sorry Tadase-Kun will you still be able to come with us if I leave now?" I apologised profusely in an attempt to salvage the first conversation we had had in months.
"Tsch Amu Chan, it would seem that I have no choice, I will meet you at the café try not to be too late." He hung up abruptly and I threw my mobile against the covers violently in response.
Bye I muttered half-heartedly into the empty room. Clearing my head I reminded myself again that Tadase was under a lot of stress and that being in love means standing together through bad times and good. My inner pep talk was so good that I almost believed it and yet as I ran around frantically getting ready I could not help but feel the tightness taking a hold of my heart.
All of my rushing brought me to the mirror; I gazed at my reflection sceptically. I barely even looked like myself. Typical I finally get to see Tadase and I looked horrific, not all of me just parts. The mirrors reflection showed a curvy five foot five girl in her twenties with waist long bubble gum pink hair. But on closer inspection it was all too easy to see the dark circles that framed her eyes, the broken chapped lips from nights of nervously biting down after yet another night slipped by without a single word from him! Even her golden eyes seemed a shade duller today.
Exasperated I pulled out my makeup kit, I knew there was little I could do in the short amount of time but I could at least make an attempt, I applied my concealer in order to subdue the shadows under my eyes and then finished them with my trademark flicked line of eyeliner and mascara, however to be safe I still opted to wear my glasses. Tugging at my seemingly lifeless hair I growled growing impatient and quickly running out of time I swept it into a side pony leaving my sides and bangs down to frame my face and lastly coated my lips with a sweep of pink gloss. I gave myself one last twirl in the mirror before racing out of my apartment and to my car.
As I approached the café windows I could see Utau tapping her perfectly manicured nails impatiently against the table and across from her sat my Tadase Kun, it's strange but from the moment I saw his face I forgot all my previous worries and resentments and finally felt like things were okay. I walked into the café in a daze barely paying any attention to who surrounded me. I was snapped out of said daze by the tight impatient embrace of Utau.
"That boyfriend of yours has a stick up his ass as usual." Utau muttered to me.
She whispered mean comments to me playfully and ruffled my hair, I stepped back from her and gave her a genuine smile it was only now that I had realised how much I really had missed her. I sniggered at her comment silently and poked her in the ribs before she took my hand and dragged me to my seat. Now that I had him here to myself I was not willing to waste a moment, the minute Utau became distracted by Kukai I turned my attention to Tadase but no matter what I tried he barely took an interest, I eventually gave up feeling neglected I turned to Utau, she placed her hand in mine as if sensing my pain.
"We are just waiting for my brother Tadase unless you have something else you must urgently rush off too?" She glared at Tadase with all her might, feigning civility.
Her eyes were steely as she watched for his reply but as always Tadase was nothing but polite.
"I do have a meeting that I will have to excuse myself for soon Utau san but I can stay a little longer." He smiled gently at her but it didn't touch his eyes, he remained cold and disinterested.
Utau's only response was to glare back instead and then moan to me about how her brother was always late. I smiled fondly as she began pouting like a small child whining about nothing in particular, I knew she was trying to cheer me up in her own way. However the next thing I knew my hand was dropped, Kukai had his head in his hands and there was a god awful squeal over by the café entrance.
Turning around I saw who I could only assume was Utau's brother. Although he was visually obscured by the enthusiastically bouncing blonde I could still catch glimpses and though I felt guilty even thinking it, he was beautiful; completely and utterly beautiful. I felt the blush heat my cheeks as Utau rocketed my way and practically threw me out of my chair dragging me to meet him. Seeing him un-obscured only made it worse I stood now in front of him shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other.
Utau began babbling about how we met, but I didn't catch the last of her speech I was too preoccupied sizing up this stranger. He must have been a little over six feet but well-built all broad shoulders and strong arms, his face was beautiful, angular and framed by his mid length navy blue hair. So perfect was the rest of this mysterious man that I almost missed the best parts of him, he bent down low and took my hand in his
"I'm pleased to meet you Amu." He stated confidently in a deep husky voice, and when I shyly glanced up I was met by sapphire blue. Another blush grazed my face and his eyes flickered curiously before allowing me enough time to control myself again. Repressing any previous thoughts I looked into his face avoiding eye contact and smiled widely expressing how nice it was to meet him in return, I removed my hand slowly and made my way to sit by Tadase's side. This is where I should have been all along, I told myself resentfully.
Shortly Utau and her brother returned to the table, he took the seat directly across from me and I felt his leg brush against mine quickly, I decided to do the polite thing and ignore it but when my eyes met his face all I could see was his smirk.
"It would seem that dam smirk is a family trait" I muttered darkly. But before I could realise what I had said aloud Tadase was already correcting me.
"Amu Chan it is so rude to mutter, and at a luncheon with friends no less. I thought you knew better. I have to go to work now but please do your best to not embarrass us further with your peculiar mannerisms. I would like to have friends to return too." He shook his head at me disappointed and with each word I sank more and more into my chair hideously ashamed of myself for embarrassing him yet again, but just as I was about to apologise I heard a voice, his voice.
"Now, now we are all friends here and what our dear Amu said is hardly far from the truth the smirk does run in our family." Utau's brother smirked smugly looking Tadase up and down; and as he said his last line he winked at me, which only seemed to anger Tadase more.
"Still a lady should know how to behave, and I'm awfully sorry but it would seem that myself and my partner didn't catch your name?" Tadase responded haughtily.
Another smirk crossed his face as Utau and Kukai looked from one to another not sure what to make of the situation.
"My name is Ikuto Tsukiyomi and I am Utau's older sibling. But you can call me Mr Tsukiyomi."
A smug smile pulled at Ikuto's lips and I had to stifle a giggle at the face that Utau was currently making. Tadase still seemed to be deep in thought but shaking his head he silently kissed me lightly on the head and after excusing himself from the table left.
Utau was the first to speak as the café door shut, she teased Ikuto playfully for making the atmosphere so tense and then nudged me stating that Tadase was far too uptight and boring for me. That seemed to break the tension considerably and we all began to laugh. Utau went back to telling me how much she missed me and Kukai occupied himself with his phone, but throughout my entire conversation I could not help but feel like Ikuto was watching me.
Our luncheon had run longer than I had expected and I really did have to get some writing done but before I could excuse myself Utau made me promise that I would come round to her apartment the next night for drinks and catch ups. It was nearly impossible to say no to her pouting face and so I agreed. But that night as I sat with my head tilted to the side wishing that inspiration would strike, all I could see where a pair of sapphire eyes.
Leeloo-Chan: To my usual readers I know I haven't updated in a while, I went on holiday and forgot to mention it. I did mean to update my new story Child of the full moon but I was hit with really bad writers block so decided to post something less serious up. This is my other on-going story I mentioned, so whether you are a usual or someone new I really hope you enjoyed this first instalment and would love it if you would review me and let me know if you want more :)