Hello, dear readers! I'm not new to the Fanfiction community, but I'm one of those people that reads every single piece of fanfiction out there, but never bothers writing any because she knows that she won't get around to finishing it. But as of this auspicious moment, I'm going to be writing a short fic. Why now? Because there are so many gorgeous authors in this fandom, and I was curious and inspired enough to give my rusty writing skills another go. Mild, constructive criticism welcome, but please be gentle, because I'm far too sensitive and it's a little bit of a problem. :)
Anyway, without further ado, here we go!

It was supposed to be a fairly quick affair. But it continued, week after week, month after month, and year after year. Tikki and Plagg's Broom Closet™ Conferences were an extremely regular feature, at this point. And if the janitors happened to wonder why their access to cleaning supplies was revoked once every week, they didn't pay too much heed to it.

Tikki was flopped over on an upturned bucket, while Plagg moaned about the school replacing their last soap solution that apparently smelled of camembert for a more neutral, flowery one.

After rolling her eyes for the umpteenth time, Tikki resorted to a more effective method: smacking Plagg over the head with her stubby little arms.

The little cat demon cried out. "What was that for?"
Tikki rolled her eyes again. "The lunch break starts soon, and we need to return to our holders, or they'll start to worry."

Plagg yawned before pulling out a piece of camembert from god-knows-where. "Nah, Adrien can survive without me for a while. At least, while I savor this beauty," he said, making googly eyes at the runny cheese before gulping it down in one.

Tikki hit him over the head once more. "Are you done?"
"Tikki!" he mimed fake crying, but then decided it was too much effort, reverting back to his snarky glory.
"What are we going to do about Project Googly-Eyed Losers?" Needless to say, it was Plagg that had inaugurated their little venture.

Plagg shrugged, doing a little backflip in the air before settling down beside Tikki on her bucket throne. "Maybe we could exchange holders and have them track each other down?"

Tikki thought for a second before shaking her head vigorously. "We tried that two years ago, remember? Adrien started talking about camembert as soon as he figured out you were gone and you floated right back to him."

Plagg's little canines disappeared out of view momentarily as a look of deep mourning crossed his features. "I didn't get camembert for a full two days after we tried that, Tikki. Two days!" he snarled at an imaginary Agreste.
"I was forced to eat mozzarella. Ugh."

Silence reigned for a couple moments. Then,
"So, are you in or not, Tikki? Let's exchange holders!"

The little kwami's eyes widened in sheer exasperation. "I just told you that it was a bad idea, Plagg."

"Okay, then it's settled. We're doing this! See you on the other side, Tikki!" and with those famous last words, Plagg phased out of the broom cupboard, leaving behind an utterly annoyed, yet still extremely unsurprised kwami.

The plan was simple. Phase into their bags, and wait for pandemonium to ensue. And even if Plagg couldn't bear the stench of cookies and had tried to escape his pink confines a total of thirteen times, they were still sticking with this plan.

However, when Plagg's bad luck and Hawkmoth's dumb ideas reside under the same roof, the amalgamation is often a product that leaves a lot to be desired. Thus, the Befuddler was born.

An akuma born of a frustrated dyslexic student that had been berated by his mathematics teacher a couple times too many, he now sought to confuse everyone around him to the point of insanity. Now, one could probably sympathize with his irritation aimed at his poor understanding of mathematics, if not for the fact that the SS Adrinette was set to sink once more.

Plagg groaned once more as the bag thumped against Marinette's leg, sending up more disgustingly sweet fumes towards his delicate nose. He really didn't know how Tikki could bear the stench of so many cookies. He, obviously, had far more refined tastes.

Soon enough, Ladybug had said hello to her parents and had taken her lunch from them, and was going up to her room carefully with the steaming platter which smelled of, if he wasn't mistaken, a moderately exquisite cheese. It was no camembert, but it would surely prevent him from dying of starvation.

As soon as she placed the dishes on her table, Plagg spiraled out of the bag, his love for theatrics shimmering ever so slightly. He'd learnt from Shakespeare, after all, but he rarely got to use it, for Adrien could surpass literally anyone in the emotional art of dramatics.

Marinette jumped slightly, but thankfully did not upturn the gorgeous side helping of cheese she had, innocently sitting beside her serving of dumplings.

And then she screamed. Honestly, kids these days.

Plagg snickered. "Calm down, Ladybug. I am a very powerful God, but I won't harm you if you give that cheese to me, eh, savvy?" His inner Jack Sparrow would be very proud of this moment, right here.

The sassy little Ladybug rolled her eyes. "You're Chat Noir's kwami, aren't you? He told me you were a cheese hog."

Plagg sputtered. "Cheese hog? Excuse moi, but cheese is a thing to be savored, not demolished! I simply am an artist that appreciates and recognizes its delicate beauty." He hurriedly made his way over to the plate, finishing up the cubes of cheese before Marinette could think to retract them.

Ah. That felt good.

Before Marinette could get a word in edgewise, screams filled the air. Both Plagg and Marinette sighed in unison.

This was honestly the worst time ever to have an akuma attack. She had no clue who Chat Noir was, nor any clue of where he might live. She slowly swiveled around to face the little cat.

"Well?"

Plagg continued chewing. "Well, what?"
"How are we supposed to transform, Plagg? I'm pretty sure Tikki isn't here."

A couple of suspenseful moments later, he admitted defeat. "Well, you're right. But…I have a solution!"
He rubbed his tiny hands together in glee. Tikki would thank him later.

"How about I tell you that I gave Tikki an antenna, because she's obviously a bug, and that I have the remote control right here? We can track her down and you guys can exchange kwamis!"

Marinette was understandably confused. Not. Honestly, humans are so stupid.
She stared at him for a couple of moments, then muttered, "What?" under her breath.

Plagg wondered if perhaps this human had been deprived of basic speaking functions at a young age. "I gave Tikki an antenna. We can track her!"

Marinette pouted at his rebuking tone, before a firm look of determination crossed her features. She grabbed her bag, stuffed in a couple of things: a rope, a torch, a…saucepan, and a variety pack of cheeses, and gestured for him to fly into her blazer pocket. Marching out the door with unnaturally loud, thumping steps, Marinette suddenly skidded to a stop. She pulled Plagg out, tilted her head, and gave him a look of utter befuddlement. "Why?"

He gave her a look of utter derision. "Why what?"
"Why would you give Tikki an antenna of all things?"

"So we could track her down, obviously. Tikki should pick cleverer Ladybugs, I swear to brie." He muttered the last bit under his breath, but he was pretty sure Marinette heard him anyway, considering the look of deep thought she was examining him with.

She stared at him for a couple minutes longer. He glared back. They were wasting time, not that he cared. Gabriel had far too much time on his hands, and he was tired of humouring him and his akumas.

Okay, this was getting tiring. He resisted the urge to squirm as Ladybug narrowed her eyes till she was practically squinting at him. Then, finally, she spoke. Praise the Lords!

"You planned this." It wasn't a question.
But Plagg was Plagg, and Plagg hated and loved the Cs. He loved camembert, and hated confrontation. Therefore, with his wise, scintillating knowledge of what to do in difficult situations, he decided on the best of both worlds.

Unfazed, he ignored Marinette, and dove into her bag to scarf down some of the cheese she was carrying. There. Now he neither had to answer, nor had to forego his tiny appetite.

Unfortunately, his wisdom had nothing written for when he was unceremoniously pulled out of Marinette's purse. She glared at him for a couple moments longer.

His nose wiggled. The sweet scent of cheese was wafting out of the open container, and his eyes felt like they were watching a game of intense hockey, not knowing where to focus.

Another set of screams echoed around them. Marinette's face shifted into one of concern momentarily, but her determined expression returned quickly enough. She seemed to want an answer immediately.

Plagg had none for her. None that she would like, at least. He gulped and glanced towards the cheese, feeling his self-control to be on the verge of snapping. Finally, he sighed.

"Alright, I'll tell you."
Marinette listened closely, even bending down and looking at him with her huge bluebell eyes to portray her sincerity.

"Chat Noir, he er…he," he stuttered. Wait, he was getting an idea. Yes! "Chat Noir wanted me to bring him a strand of your hair so he could add it to his potion and look like you!"

She stared at him for a couple minutes. "Chat Noir is making a Polyjuice potion?"

Plagg was happy that she seemed to be buying it. "Yes!" he nodded his head rapidly, joyous that his cover hadn't been blown yet. "That's exactly what he's doing!"

Marinette seemed almost amused for a second before she went back to glaring at him. "What is going on, Plagg?"

The little kwami's eyes widened at the strict tone in her voice. How had she figured out that he'd been lying?

Oh, wait. Wasn't Polyjuice Potion from that one crazy famous book series? Plagg nodded to himself sagely. Ah. He had to think of something fast.

Meanwhile, Marinette held him up at eye level to better scare him. The next words from her mouth were the saddest Plagg had ever been privy to.

"Plagg, if you don't tell me where Tikki is, I'll tell Chat Noir to cut off your camem-"
His eyes widened in utter betrayal as he sensed where this blasphemous sentence was going. However, Marinette never got to finish her sentence.

Someone screamed from behind them. "Look out!"
And before either of them could turn or finish their sentence, a bright blue light engulfed the girl that held him in her hand. It didn't affect him, though he didn't understand why.

He felt fine. Maybe because he was magic, too?

Marinette on the other hand, was very confused. She looked around, then at him and back around again. Plagg waited for her to say something.

"Who are you?"

And there we go! This is the first chapter of this wonky fanfic, and I really hope you liked it! Read and Review and Follow and Favourite, my kittens! Leave me some love, and we'll go from there! Bye! x