I know it can't just be me that needed more of an ending for that episode. Please enjoy and thanks in advance for reading!
The little energy she had left from breaking out of the box was just enough for her to stagger down to the shore, just enough for her to feel the coldness of the water soak through the cotton of her shoes before the world went hazy and the sand met her face as Nikki drifted back into unconsciousness.
She's cold when she wakes up and for a horrid moment she thinks she's dead, tucked away in one of the freezers at the Lyell waiting to go under Thomas' knife. Part of her is grateful for blessed cold after the heat of the box she was trapped in but then there's water rushing up her nose and in her mouth and ears, the strength of the surf forcing her hips to roll her over onto her back, the bright blue of the sky greeting her when she opens her eyes. Her lips taste of salt when she opens her mouth to breathe and the soft, wet sand is thick between her fingers as she tries to force herself to stand.
By the time the tears of relief have stopped flowing there's wet sand in her hair and her clothes have started to dry, leaving them stiff and sticky against her skin and at the back of her mind she can't help but wonder where the hell her shoes have gone. Behind her is the site where Ava's son was supposed to be working, the ancient burial site that they drove past when Ava was telling her all about his work, about how proud she was of him. It wasn't far from the compound and in her head she thinks she knows how to get back, back to Jack. Her eyes well up as she thinks back to the last conversation they shared, the devastated 'what have you done' echoing through her mind. Knowing how self-destructive he can be she suddenly panics, the thought of him having done something stupid clouding her mind, her need to get back to him all the more urgent. Her toes are sinking into the sand as she sets off in what she hopes is the right direction.
It's almost dark when Nikki finally stumbles towards the compound, the lights are twinkling against the dark sky like many little glowing beacons guiding her back to Jack, back to her family. She can hear the celebrations and there are rich smells of food drifting towards her on the dusty breezes that are blowing her tangled hair behind her. Tables are set out in clusters with reunited families sat around them, the workers from the greenhouses at most of them, Luisa, the person she had originally come out here to say a final goodbye too, sat with her head against Gustavo's shoulder, his arm slung loosely around her holding her close at another.
It takes a moment for anyone to notice her, an unsteady shadow staggering out of the twilight. The walk had been longer than she'd expected, her exhausted body struggling to keep going. When they do spot her though, the guards are around her in seconds, pointing rifles at her in the semi darkness, not quite sure who she is. She sees Gustavo and Luisa get up and run over from where they were sat. Gustavo reaches his soldiers first, a torch in his hand, flashing the beam in her face and shouting orders in Spanish that she can't understand but the guns are lowered and the guards back off so she gets the gist of what's going on. After a few more halting steps forward Gustavo has his hands on her shoulders, steadying her trembling body and helping keep her on her feet. Luisa is there next, ducking under her lovers' arms and wrapping her into a hug that Nikki can't help but fall into. The chatter has quietened down now and everyone is watching her but the only thing on her mind is him. "Jack?" she somehow manages to say, her voice no more than hoarse whisper, her throat sore after the screaming and salt water. Luisa looks up to Gustavo and he nods letting go of her shoulders before sprinting off towards the chapel. Luisa is saying something in Spanish to the guards and suddenly her arms are being held over others shoulders and hands are holding her sides as they help her towards one of the building where there are lights and chairs and, she hopes, beds.
There are only a few candles burning in the chapel and there's no one in here to see him as he cries, as he pounds the floor with his fists. Across the room he can see her picture, her face split in a smile as she laughed at something, her eyes sparkling with joy and in his head he screams because he will never see her like that again. Never see that smile when she laughs at his antics and in his mind he blames himself. He knows Nikki. He should have known that she would have put the life of others before her own. He should have seen it but he'd been so damn desperate to find her, to save her so she could save him from himself. He'd printed that picture himself. It had so much more for her spirit in it than the one he'd crumpled up earlier, earlier when he still could save her before he'd let her down, let her die. The candle he'd lit in front of her photo was sputtering, the wax burnt away. He couldn't let that happen, he'd never let her light go out, even if it meant staying in here for the rest of his life. Standing on shaky legs he was about to go and find another one when Gustavo flew through the doors, his gaze flicking across the room before landing on Jack where he stood in the corner. Jack only had to look at his face to see what he was going to tell him, too see the relief and the happiness that was in his eyes. "Where?" he yelled at Gustavo, barely waiting for him to reply before he set off to find her.
Her head was leaned back against the wall when he arrived, her eyes closed and a water bottle held loosely between her hands. Luisa was sat by her side but when she saw him she gave him smile before getting up and heading back outside. The sound of her feet stirred Nikki from whatever place her mind had been and slowly her head rolled to side, her ears tracking Luisas' steps as she walked across the room, only opening her eyes when she couldn't hear them anymore. When she sees him, she tries to stand only for her legs to give out under her in exhaustion. Jack is by her side in seconds, grabbing the water bottle in one hand and catching Nikki with other, his arm wrapping around her waist.
"Easy, easy, I got you," he can't help but say as she falls against him her arms wrapping loosely around his back, her fingers digging into his shoulders. Dropping the water bottle onto the table next her he can't help but pull her close, both his arms clutching at her shirt, his nose pressed into her hair. He can smell the ocean on her, almost taste the salt where her hair brushes his lips. She's shaking in his arms and it takes a moment to realise she's crying and another moment to realise the wetness on his cheeks isn't from her damp hair but from his own eyes. It takes a few minutes for him to pull himself together, after everything she's been through she shouldn't see him crying. She isn't his to lose after all. By the time his eyes have dried all her weight is against him, his arms holding her up and in his ears he can hear her faint whispers but they're too quiet for him to make out. Knowing she needs sleep more than anything else he makes the split decision to take her to the room she's been staying in, but when he tries to get her to walk he finds her feet uncooperative and in the end scoops her up into his arms, carrying her as he would a bride over the threshold.
He takes the steps two at a time as he climbs the stairs, cradling Nikki close to his chest. She's asleep by the time he lays her on her bed and he hasn't the heart to wake her or even put the lights on. She's safe and now all he wants is to protect her from whatever happened so after pulling a blanket over her he pulls out a chair and sits down leaning his head on his hands against the bed by her side, promising that he'll be there for her when she wakes up.
It's still dark when he wakes up and it takes him a moment to orientate himself, wondering what had pulled him from sleep. By his side Nikki is mumbling in her sleep her hand thrashing by her sides, her head rolling on the thin pillow, her legs tangling in the blanket as her sleep is haunted by things that only exist in the nightmare she's trapped in. He's about to shake her, his fingers just wrapping around her shoulders when she bolts up, abruptly ripped from sleep. Her breathing is fast and harsh, her chest heaving with every gasp and in her mind it feels like the dark is closing around her, trapping her back in that box, back in her nightmare. When Jack's hand touches her she jumps again only settling when she hears his voice close by. Seconds later the lamp flickers to life and he's illuminated, sat by her side, her hand wrapped in his, his eyes dark with worry.
"Hey, you're safe now," his voice rumbles as he pulls her into a gentle hug holding her for a second before pulling back and looking at her properly for the first time since he saw her sat in that chair. Her hair is a tangled mess, full of sand and earth and for the first time he sees the cut running along her cheek bone, red and inflamed. Gently, so gently he runs his thumb over the cut causing her to gasp, her hand coming up to catch his wrist causing him to look down. Her nails are caked with grime and when she catches him looking at them she blushes, quickly apologising for the mess she's in.
"You don't need to apologise," he chastises her, "you have nothing to apologise for. Do you hear me," he adds more firmly, suddenly realising that was what she had been whispering all those hours ago.
"But I am sorry Jack. I mislead you. I could hear it in your voice how much I'd hurt you." Her eyes are brimming with tears as she watches him, the first ones falling from her chocolate eyes, leaving streaks in the dirt on her cheeks.
"Nikki," he sighs, wondering how she can be so daft, "I was frustrated yes, but not at you. I didn't find you. I failed and I thought you'd died. Nikki, I don't want to lose you and I thought I had. It wasn't hurt you heard in my voice, it was heartbreak," he finished in a whisper and for a moment she didn't move and he began to worry he'd said too much. When her arms wrapped around him though he let a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, quickly hugging back.
"I don't want to lose you either," she chokes out.
Jack's surprised by her confession but shakes it off, his worry over her more important. "How about we get you cleaned up a bit and I'll take a look at that cut on your face?" Waiting until she's nodded before he lets go of her hand he heads over to the little sink in the corner. He comes back with a bowl full of water and a cloth but after just a few swipes he can tell that it's not going to be enough and so can she, leaving the only option as a shower, which are outside. Jack doesn't like the idea of her moving, let alone standing and walking. Nikki still looks thoroughly exhausted to him and he'd rather she didn't have to leave her room but in her eyes he can she her determination, a determination that brings a smile to his face because it's the Nikki he knows and loves and there's nothing he can do to stop her.
She's already trying to untangle the blanket from around her legs by the time he's stopped admiring her will power and it shakes him into action. Putting his hands over hers he stops her and carefully pulls the blankets away, holding onto her ankle when it gets stuck to tug it free, marvelling at how thin her legs actually are, in his head questioning how the hell they hold her up. Her feet are covered in dirt too and it's only then that he notices she's no shoes. The questioning look he gives her makes her blush at the mess she's in, suddenly very self-conscious before shrugging at the lack of foot-ware, just as confused as he is at where they went. When he lets go of her ankle Nikki can still feel where his hand had been, the space his fingers held freezing and burning in their absence. She watched him as he dragged her bag out from under the bed, rifling through it for who knows what eventually stopping and throwing the strap over his shoulder before reaching out and offering his hands to her with a soft smile.
Standing hurt more than she expected, walking even more so. Pain was throbbing through her beaten feet but the prospect of a shower was far more appealing than anything she was feeling. She can see Jack sat on the ground with his back to her to give her privacy, his shoulders hunched, his figure shaking a little in the dark while she showers. The spray is cold and again she's relived for the coolness, it numbs her aches a little. The water around her feet is grey, tinged with blood and bubbles from where the water has opened up the little scrapes she's acquired in the past day. The soap is stinging where it runs into the cut on her cheek and when she begins to rub the grime of her feet she can't help the hiss of pain that comes when the water opens up the slices she didn't even know she had. When, finally, she feels clean she turns of the water and dries off, wincing when her torn nails and cut hands catch in her hair and clothes as she tries to get dressed. Jack's still sat with her back to her and now without the sound of the running water she can hear the small breathy sobs he's letting out and her heart breaks. She did that to him.
He never even heard the water stop let alone heard her approach but suddenly she's sat by his side, her head resting on his shoulder as he tries to stop the heaving sobs in his chest. Her hand is on his back, rubbing soothing circles against the stretched fabric of his shirt and again she apologising, apologising for tricking him. It makes him laugh, a sharp, abrupt noise that rips from his throat and silences her. Her head lifts from his shoulder and from the corner of his eye he can see confused look she's giving him, "What's so funny?" Her voice is indignant and it makes him laugh again.
"You, your apologising again. It's me that should be apologising."
"Jack," she's confused, he can hear it.
"Did you put yourself in that box? No. Did you do the impossible and save everyone else? Yes. Did you make a promise and then let them down? No." He stops for a breath and suddenly she thinks she has an idea where this is going. "You did everything from inside a god damn box underground and I couldn't do anything. In the end I let you down. I always let you down, I promised I'd stop fighting and I don't. I promised I'd bring you home and I didn't. I promised I'd save you and I didn't."
"Oh Jack," she whispers as she puts her arms around him, her cheek resting against his shoulder, "you did save me though. Your voice kept me sane in there, kept me from screaming and screaming until I went mad, stopped me giving up. And as for saving those people that wasn't me, that was you, you and Leo," she says with a smile in her voice, Leo's face still floating in her mind. That makes him look at her with a worried look.
"Leo? Nikki, Leo died," he says hesitantly, suddenly worried that she did go mad in that box, maybe hit her head on the top and knocked out what few of her marbles were left.
"I know Leo died."
"But you just said-"
"I remembered a case we worked on, years ago. It took him ages but he identified the toxin back then and it made me realise we were dealing with the same toxin now. Anyway you were the one who found those people, the one who rescued them."
"I couldn't have done it without you though," his voice is calmer now, closer to the Jack she knows and loves.
"Nor could I," she adds with a smile.
"Joint effort then," he whispers when he feels her smile against his shoulder, smiling himself when she chuckles, he small frame shaking with the movement. "Come on you, let's get that face of yours patched up. Can't have that leaving a scar now, can we." Standing up he pulls Nikki up with him keeping a tight hold on her, not willing to let her go or even leave his sight. She's leaning heavily on him again and when he looks down he groans. "Nikki, socks don't work in substitute of shoes."
"I've lost my shoes. Only brought one pair with me." He laughs at that; Nikki may be the smartest person he knows but sometimes she can down right daft. He helps her limp back inside and up the stairs before finally letting go watching as she hobbles over to the bed before going back down and grabbing some of the supplies he brought with him from England. She's put the lights on when he gets back, the old fluorescent bulbs casting a pale glow on everything. It highlights how pale she is, the light tan she developed washed from her skin replaced in some parts with sunburn from the exposure. His eyes are drawn to the damp footprint on the floor before he glances at dark patches on the soles of her socks.
"Your feet are bleeding!" he almost yells rushing over.
"I know, I know," she says calmly and he almost screams. How can she be so bloody calm? It takes him only minutes to peel her socks off and assess the damage before digging into the kit he brought up. The cuts aren't deep but there are a lot of them and he again he can't help but marvel at her strength. To have walked all this way with her feet getting cut up and bleeding. She truly is incredible to him. Beside him she's rooting through the box herself and when he looks she digging at the palms of her hands with a pair of tweezers, face crumpled with pain and frustration, her fingers shaking slightly as pokes at them. He lets her for a few minutes while he spreads antibiotic cream on her feet and pulls the cuts closed with tape and steri-strips. When he's finished he takes the tweezers from her hands, snorting at the little noise of protest she makes before bending her wrists towards her and looking her hands. There are more splinters in her hands than he's ever seen in his life it takes him a while to pull them all out trying to be gentle as he opens the little nicks on palms up, wincing in sympathy every time she hisses in pain.
By the time he's done she's almost asleep again, her head rolling on her shoulders as she fights to keep her eyes open. "Sleep Nikki. You're exhausted." She nods at him only half aware of the world around her as she settles down, her head on the pillow. All at once the nightmare she had before rushes back and she can't bear the thought of sleep, her hand flying out to catch Jack's wrist even though he hadn't moved. When his eyes meet hers he can see the fear in them and he does the one and only thing he can think of, climbing on the bed behind her, her back to his chest, his arm around her waist, her fingers still holding his wrist. "I'm right here. I promise. Nothing is going to happen to you." He can feel her hair brush against his face when she nods and instinctively he pushes his nose into her hair, breathing in the smell that is just Nikki. Against him, Jack can feel her press her back closer to him, snuggling in to him as much as she can, her small hand gripping his arm. It takes time but eventually he slips into sleep, the warm, comforting weight of Nikki pressed against him.
Thomas' touchdown in Mexico was all a bit of a blur, his mind focused on getting to the place Jack had given him. The scrap of paper he'd written it down on was worn and crumpled from the amount of times he'd opened it, read it and screwed it back up again on the journey here. When Jack had last phoned him the despair in his voice had been painful. One look at Clarissa was all it took to get him to pack a bag and fly out. They both new he'd never come home without her, that he'd tear himself and the county apart looking for her body. The cab dropped him about a hundred yards from the gates of the compound and it after a quick jog over and flashing his home office ID the guards looked at him with a little recognition, clearly they knew Nikki and Jack. "I'm looking for Jack," he said and one of the guards pointed to a building in the distance before turning his back on him, looking out towards the horizon again. When he reached the building he asks again, surprised when Luisa jogs over to him. Jack had mentioned he'd found her and makes the loss of Nikki all the more painful. She was the one they were supposed to find.
"I'll take you to them," she says and the phrase doesn't go unnoticed, although he puts it down to her English slipping since she's been home so long. He follows her along what to him seems like a maze of corridors and stairs eventually stopping when they reach a door. She gives him a smile before disappearing down the hall. The door is unlocked when he tries the handle, the hinges opening without so much as a squeak. He's faced with what is clearly Nikki's former room, her bag lies abandoned on the floor, some her clothes strewn about the room but on the bed is Jack, his back facing Thomas. The analytical part of his mind knows they'll have to pack it all up and take it home with, give it to her next of kin, but the human side can't help but notice what a mess it is. He'd always assumed Nikki was a tidy person. Either way it hurts to think about. He takes a moment before stepping into the room, mentally trying to work out what he's going to say to the younger scientist, how he's going to console him. When Thomas reaches the foot of the bed he almost yells in joy. Seeing Nikki bundled against Jacks' chest almost gives him a heart attack from both relief and shock. She's pale, too pale, but her chest is rising and falling with each breath she takes proving she's alive. Right now the how doesn't matter, she's alive and safe and that's all that matters to him. The Lyell won't have to try and patch the gaping hole she almost made. The team will hold itself together.
Even in his sleep Jack can feel someone watching him and when he opens his eyes he spots Thomas stood against the window facing him, a small smile playing on his face. Beside him Nikki is still asleep, she's rolled over at some point during the night and she's now facing. Her blonde hair has curled and is falling about her face in messy curtain, her head tucked against his chest. Carefully extracting himself from her he stands and heads towards the door, knowing Thomas will follow him.
"You could have let us know you found her," he hisses, sounding both pleased and annoyed at the same time.
"I didn't find her. She found me. Just wandered in here last night."
"Still, Clarissa has been calling me every five minutes for the past few hours to see if I'd reached you yet. She's been going mad."
"Yeah I should call her," he says, fishing around in his pockets for his phone, finally giving in when he can't find it and borrowing Thomas'. She answers on the third ring.
"How is he?" The urgency and worry in her voice makes Jack wince and evidently Thomas can hear it from where he's standing as he points towards Nikki and heads over, sitting in the chair next to the bed.
"Nice to talk to you too," Jack says, his usual teasing tone creeping through when he hears her voice.
"Jack! Are you okay?"
"Better than you might think. Nikki," he pauses, how does he tell her? "She's safe," he states, smiling when he looks over to where she's sleeping, watching as Thomas carefully examines the cuts on her hands he wrapped last night.
"Oh Jack," her voice is quiet and sad, "I'm so sorry."
"What, no Clarissa. She's safe, she's alright. She's asleep," he keeps his voice calm and quiet, desperately trying not wake her. A quietness Clarissa mistakes as denial.
"Jack," there's a sternness there now, "she's gone Jack. You did everything." His frustration is beginning to get the better of him and he quickly flips the call to video chat, waiting a moment for Clarissa's face to appear on the screen. Jack can see the exhaustion there, the bags under her eyes and the worry in the set of her Jaw.
"Clarissa. Nikki's alive," he says slowly and he can see the spark of hope bloom on her face, the doubt still lurking in her eyes. Turning the camera towards where Thomas is sat he shows her and it takes a moment for it to sink in.
"She's really alive," she says in wonder as he turns the phone back to himself. Her smile makes his day. In the back ground he can hear the phone ring and waits a few minutes for her to answer before she comes back to him. "Can you send Thomas home. We've got a triple murder and the other lab's closed down. That was the home office ordering him back." From where he's sat Thomas nods briefly before turning back to Nikki.
"He's got the message."
"Good, and Jack. Bring her home."
"I promise. She's not leaving my sight." He means it too. She's never leaving his sight again.
This is my first Silent Witness fic. Please can you review and give me pointers. Fixed a few little errors that I'd noticed, also thinking about doing another chapter or two. Bear with me on that.