"I don't understand."

Your words are barely heard over the storm that's pressing in. It would seem as if I picked exactly this night to destroy you. There's something in the rain, or so they say.

How can you possibly not understand? I can't remember the exact date, or the exact time, but somewhere between now and forever we fell apart. Don't you lose who you are every now and then?

"Why are you telling me this? Why now!?" You turn just enough that I can't see your face crumbling, but the way you stumble on each syllable gives you away. You were always so much easier to read.

"Remus..." Your resistance is shattered and your body spins around to face me. You have that look on your face. The look you always get when something isn't going your way.

So many sleepless nights were spent awake with you. I wanted them just as badly as you did. But eventually the unspoken words that were on the tip of my tongue slipped and it was like a chain reaction.

You loved me more than I could have ever loved you.

I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner. I thought that he would never get to me. I believed I was safe from his judgment. I was foolish to think that. He never understood us.

And so I find myself in a bind. Trapped between two crossroads. I cannot live the life I have with you, no matter how much I want it. We're too different people going two different places. They wouldn't understand. You look up at the moon, your eyes the size of it, and its reflection passes through you. I've let you down.

"Please..." Your pleads mean nothing. They are empty words with no meaning and no reason. "I need you." Pathetic. He's already gotten to me. His words are now mine and his revenge courses through my veins.

"I am sorry..." But I don't mean it. As much as I love you; loved you, I must severe all ties. There will be no traces that I have ever been in your life. Except...for those memories.

The longer I waited to tell you, the more it hurt you. One. Two. Three. No turning back now. We both have to be brave.

That look in your eyes kills me. Your open book life has suddenly become tightly bound and now I find myself unable to read you. You look lost, confused, but I could be mistaken. Staring at each other as we do now, coal eyes staring into amber, makes me wonder if you always knew too.

Your mouth moves; cherry red lips opening and closing but I hear nothing. You know the answers idiot. Looking in your eyes I know what you want to hear from me. We both know the question and funnily enough we both know the answer.

I breath in. It's sharp, it's painful, and it's cutting my throat. "Because I hate you."

I watch emotionless as your world crumbles around you .I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. Yet no matter how many times I say it I can't believe it.

Your body rises. You're too weak. I catch you before you hit the cold stone floor. Your body is weightless in my trembling hands. We sit here, your head in my lap, my fingers in your hair. You're talking again but I feel far away from you. I can't let go.

As the storm calms and the rain ceases to pound against the walls of this old place I found myself utterly and completely alone even though you are still here. I cannot have you forever. Though I wish I were the same person, that we were the same people, it cannot be so. One day you will realize this. You will understand why things are the way they are and you will be better for it.

I hate you... But I will never stop loving you, even after you're gone.