Oikawa opened his eyes reluctantly, as lifting the heavy lids took more effort than he'd ever thought possible for such a small task. "…kawa? Oikawa? Oikawa!" The voices gradually registered in his mind, and he was aware of bright spots and shapes moving above him as well as the hard surface pressed against his back. Am I…on the floor? What happened?
One voice rose above the rest. "Shittykawa, you dumbass!" Oikawa felt a hand grip his shoulder, blinking slowly until he could see the hazy outline of Iwaizumi glaring down at him. He looks mad. I wonder what I did this time. Wait…weren't we playing a practice match…?
Slowly, recent memories flashed in his mind. It was a serve from the other team…really fast…it was going right for Iwa-chan. Oikawa blinked a few more times until Iwaizumi's image became clear, until he could see the smallest details of his face. He seems fine. Wait, didn't I…? I jumped in front of him? He could remember panic taking control of his body, all rational thought disappearing. I was really afraid…Iwa-chan was going to get hurt.
"Iwa…chan?" Oikawa mumbled as Iwaizumi gripped his shoulder, helping him sit up. My head's pounding…I think it might split in half.
"Why would you do that, dumbass?" Iwaizumi asked softly, seeming more worried than angry. There were voices in the background, frantic teammates, the coach yelling for an ambulance. But Iwaizumi's voice rose above the other noises, and Oikawa latched onto the calmness and stability of his words.
"I don't…know," Oikawa screwed his eyes shut with a painful sound as all the lights in the gym suddenly flared, burning into his brain. He didn't realize that his hand was on Iwaizumi's shoulder, gripping his friend tightly like he was a lifeline.
"Oh, God…" Iwaizumi breathed, "Oikawa, look at me. Look at me. Tooru." Oikawa reluctantly opened his eyes, for some reason unable to focus his gaze on the boy right in front of him. "I think you have a concussion." Oikawa felt the tremor in Iwaizumi's words, and longed for that calm voice again. Stop worrying about me. It hurts me.
"St-Stop—" Oikawa tried to form words out of his thoughts, but his voice wasn't working right and he couldn't understand why. The fog in his brain was frustrating, and he felt an irrational anger begin to build up in his chest. Why can't I say what I'm trying to say?
"Stop what? Oikawa?" Iwaizumi shook his shoulder, which annoyed the brunet even more, as it prevented him from closing his eyes again. "Oikawa! Stay awake, an ambulance will be here soon, ok?"
Suddenly a wave of nausea passed through Oikawa, and he jerked forward, fighting to hold back vomit. Iwaizumi's hand was gripping Oikawa's now, his other hand supporting his back. "N-Nuh…" Oikawa groaned, feeling the pounding in his head increase.
Sirens. In the distance. Gradually getting louder. Oikawa found himself making random observations in his head. Person. In front of him. Holding him. No, that's Iwa-chan. Iwa-chan deserves more than a simple label like 'person'. Lights. They weren't that bright before, were they? Burning into my eyes. Floor. Shiny. Bright. Too bright. Spinning. Spinning quickly. Spin, spin, spin…
Darkness. That's new. It crept in on his vision, shrouding the edges. It was weird and fuzzy and reminded him of the foggy feeling in his head. That black fuzz is in my head, he thought. I don't want it there. Iwa-chan, get it out. The sirens were really loud now. Car—no, ambulance—pulling to a stop outside the gym.
Iwa-chan's saying something. Say it later, Iwa-chan, I'm tired now. Stop shaking me. Leave me alone already. The noises didn't really stop all at once, but they kind of faded in and out. Sometimes his brain picked them up and decided to translate, sometimes it ignored the noise altogether.
There were more people, which annoyed Oikawa even more. Just let me be! There was a stretcher, more bright lights flashing in his face, more people crowding in and being loud. Don't they know this hurts my ears? Stop talking so loudly. If they're doctors, don't they know to be quiet?Iwaizumi was still there, which calmed Oikawa down a bit. His fingers were tight around Oikawa's, keeping him grounded enough to respond with a weak squeeze every so often.
Wait, I didn't mean what I said before. I don't want to be alone. Not with them. Iwa-chan, come with me. Oikawa realized that none of what he was thinking was actually making it past his mouth, and another surge of anger and frustration rose up in him. Iwaizumi's outline was becoming fuzzier, and it dawned on Oikawa that he was being moved, rising up with the stretcher and moving away from Iwaizumi.
Oikawa fixed his gaze on the ceiling, widening his eyes to prevent the black fuzz from overtaking his vision. Of course, it did nothing to stop its progress, and it wasn't long until he gave up, closing his eyes and shutting himself off from the outside world.
Oikawa knew something was wrong the second he regained his consciousness. There was a strange feeling that something was missing, something he had had his whole life. What is it…? He blinked open his eyes slowly.
Blink. There were soft beeping noises all around him. Blink. He's probably in the hospital. Blink. Iwa-chan was probably incredibly angry with him.Blink. Hopefully he'll be forgiven. Blink. He can picture the hospital room—white and clean, with that overly familiar but slightly sickening smell of latex and linen. Blink. Wait…picture it? But he can't…
Am I blind?
Sudden panic seized his chest. He raised his head from the pillow, his muscles screaming at the effort. "Hey!" he tried to yell out, his voice raspy. His hands found rails on either side of the bed and he gripped them, his own breathing overly loud in his own ears. The machines began to beep faster and faster, the constant noises at his ear making him more nervous. There were footsteps outside, someone yelling, Doctor!
There were more footsteps and then a presence beside Oikawa, next to the bed, a deep voice speaking slowly and deliberately. "Oikawa Tooru." Oikawa started slightly, turning nervously to face the direction the voice was coming from. The voice went on. "I am your doctor. You are currently in a hospital. You were administered to this hospital four days ago after an accident related to volleyball. You have a concussion and this is the first time you've woken up in the four days you've been here. Do you understand?"
Oikawa felt a sting in his eyes. "I…" he whispered, blinking as a single tear crawled down his cheek. "I can't see."
"Vision problems are fairly common in head injuries," the doctor's voice was surprisingly calming in its authority. "We will have to run some tests before we can determine whether or not you may regain your sight. If you do have a chance of seeing again, your sight still may not return for a few months...maybe even longer."
"Will I…" Oikawa swallowed, cleared his throat, and started again. "Will I ever be able to play volleyball again?"
He started as a hand touched his arm gently, and the doctor spoke again. "That all depends on the outcome of the tests. As I said, we don't yet know the extent of the damage to your vision."
Oikawa didn't really have anything else to say, but he wanted the doctor to stay with him. He wanted the doctor to keep talking in that smooth, constant voice that told him I'm in charge, which was somehow comforting. If he's in charge, he can make me better. He didn't want the doctor to leave, to leave Oikawa alone in the room that was dark only to him, with the beeping machines and crushing loneliness.
The doctor cleared his throat. "Your immediate family is out of the country, correct?"
"Yes," Oikawa whispered, dreading the moment that the doctor's touch would disappear.
"Is there anyone you would like me to contact for you?"
"Yes." Iwa-chan. It was the first thing that came to his mind. Iwaizumi had been his best friend for as long as he could remember. He wouldn't rather have anyone else at his side right now.
"Do you know his or her contact information?"
"Yes."
The hospital room was empty. The doctor had left a while ago, after calling Iwaizumi for Oikawa. He hadn't let Oikawa talk on the phone, saying he needed to rest until the visit (as not having a proper meal in four days obviously led to a major decline of Oikawa's energy) and that Iwaizumi would be there soon.
Oikawa was scared. He was more scared than he'd ever been in his life. The darkness that masked his eyes was pressing down on him, suffocating him. There was no escaping it. He remembered being a little kid, afraid of the dark. I can't sleep, a random memory surfaced in his mind, his own young voice crying out. If I close my eyes it's all dark and scary.
Oikawa bit his lip nervously, his fingers tangling themselves in the hospital sheets. Now it's all dark and scary even when my eyes are open. He jumped when there was a soft knock on the door. "Oikawa?" he heard a familiar voice.
"Iwa-chan?" Oikawa turned towards the sound of approaching footsteps, wincing at the squeal of a chair being pulled across the floor, next to the bed.
"Hey, Shittykawa," Iwaizumi spoke softly, "It's been a while. You look pretty shaken up. How's the concussion? Hey—why are you crying?" Oikawa couldn't help the hot tears that began to streak down his face.
"I-I—" Oikawa gasped for air, feeling the panic setting in again. I can't see him, I can't see Iwa-chan's face… Fingers gripped his and he gripped tightly back, holding on for dear life, struggling to orient himself. Iwa-chan's here…he's right here, he's touching me, I'm alright… "Iwa-chan," Oikawa sniffed, feeling a weight on the bed as Iwaizumi shifted from the chair to the edge of the mattress, holding Oikawa's hand in both of his.
"What's wrong?" Iwaizumi asked, sounding scared for Oikawa as well as confused. "It's just a concussion, right? Does it hurt?"
Oikawa shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut and blinking them open as if trying to deny the fact all he could see was blackness. "I—Iwa-chan, I can't—" the tears tasted salty, and Oikawa's shoulders were shaking badly. He took comfort in the feeling of Iwaizumi's hands around his, and took a deep breath. "—see. Can't—see, Iwa-chan, I can't see!"
He could feel Iwaizumi's shock in the way the muscles of his hands went rigid, could hear the sharp intake of breath. "Oh, my God," he breathed, "I'm so sorry, Oikawa, this is all my fault…" Oikawa wanted to protest, to say it wasn't his fault, it was Oikawa's fault for jumping out without thinking, moving purely on the fear that something would happen to his Iwa-chan…but all he could do was let the sobs wrack his body as the nervous heat rose up in his chest.
It sounded like Iwaizumi wanted to say more, but evidently he knew—he of all people knew—that words wouldn't help Oikawa Tooru. Oikawa melted into Iwaizumi's arms as he was embraced, feeling the comforting warmth of another body. Iwa-chan's body.
He felt the fabric of Iwaizumi's shirt on his face, gradually getting damper with his tears. Rather than reciprocate the hug, Oikawa snuggled into it, letting Iwaizumi hold him protectively. I'm safe here, with Iwa-chan. I'm safe now. That embrace meant more to Oikawa than any words ever could.
"I'm sorry," Iwaizumi whispered softly, his own voice choked with tears. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."
Oikawa could only shake his head, pleading softly between sobs, begging Iwaizumi to stop apologizing. He kept going anyway, repeating I'm sorry under his breath over and over again.
A nurse with a clipboard in hand walked down the hall. Room…302. Here. Hearing soft sobs and gentle murmurs from inside, she hesitated at the entrance. Visiting hours are over… she thought, then shook her head, flipping a few pages on the clipboard. He just woke up today…I'll give him some more time with his visitor. She hung the clipboard on the inside of the door, turning to walk down the other hall. On the top of the clipboard lay a page outlining the tests the patient would be undergoing over the next few days—the tests that would determine whether he had a chance at getting his eyesight back or not.