He's doing that again. It's been two minutes and he's still standing on the same spot behind the couch!
I guess he thinks I didn't notice him, that's why he keeps staring me like that.
Goddammit Leo, say something! You know I hate being watched like that!
Okay, maybe is something important, I'll give ya two seconds to spit it.
...Okay, three minutes, that's it! If you don't talk, I talk! "Wat'cha doing standing there Fearless?" Okay, keep it cool, Raph, you don't want to fight him for no reason. "Wanting to watch the wrestling with me?" Oh great question Raphael! 'Cause Leo have been staring at ya like a hungry wolf because he loves to watch wrestling!
Okay, answer me.
...Answer me, Leo. Don't stand there with those big eyes of yours staring me like I just said something offensive! Leo. Leo, answer me.
"...Leo?" Okay, my last attempt, talk to me dammit! What are you so nervous about?!
"...C-Can I.. Can.. you hold me?"
What.
"What?" You have been standing there and acting like you just saw someone die just because you wanted to sit on my lap? Pff. "Fearless Leader is wanting to be held for his servants so he can feel even more powerful like he think he is? " I laugh, okay a little cruel but you gotta admit is funny! Imagine Leo curled up on my lap, oh my fucking god!
...That's a.. cute idea, actually.
"...You know what Raph, forget this stupid thing."
Fuck.
"Hey, hey! I was just joking with ya!" Shit.
"...Let go of my wrist Raph."
No. You gotta stay.
"Geez Leo, chill out, I was just kidding!" Yes I was, but it's not like you gonna hear me anyway.
"WELL I WASN'T, I WAS SERIOUS BUT OF COURSE, YOU DIDN'T NOTICE
IT!"
I know. I noticed. I'm sorry damn, you don't need to get this worked up for a joke!
"What the hell is up with you?! I was just joking, sorry if it made ya mad, okay!"
...Don't look at me like that.
"...Whatever, just let go of my wrist Raph"
No.
"Not 'till ya explain ta me what the shell is your problem" Because you sure have a problem right now.
"Raphael. Let go."
I said no. I won't let you go.
"Leo.. Talk to me. Fuck, you still can sit on my lap, I didn't refuse the offer!" I want you to, gotta be nice having you crawled and curled up on my chest.
"I don't want to sit on your lap, just that... you hold me... Please." Isn't it the same thing? Okay no complains, at least, you're gonna do it.
"Come here." I want to hold you too.
He crawls over me too slowly, geez is just like I'm made of glass.
Okay, I take it back. He's giving me a death grip now. Since when he can do bear hugs?
"... Geez Leo, loosen up a little, ya choking me!" Yeah, you're killing me.
"Sorry."
"'S okay, just feels funny. Yer hugging to me like I'm going to die." Okay, shouldn't have said that. He's hugging me tighter now.
Why are you like that? Is not like you are too prude to ask me for hold you? Which I just got it, you want a hug. Even more rare, what was this supposed to mean?
"..What the hell was that anyway? I know yer in a bad mood lately but this isn't a good reason to explode like that!" Yeah. You acted almost like me. Okay,you acted exactly like me. But you are Leonardo The Fearless Leader! Why are you angry?
"I know, I'm sorry."
I counted more than six 'sorry's for now, heck, you didn't do nothing wrong! What are you apologizing for?
"Raph please, just stop talking for a minute, I'll answer you later but please just let me be."
"...Sure." I'm not gonna complain though, it kinda feels nice with you all warm over me. Except for the part where you are choking me with this death grip.
I could ask him now, but he's too silent. I guess he doesn't want to be bothered yet.
I wish I could see his face, but the idiot here is with it buried on my neck and shaking.
Wait... Why are you shaking? Don't tell me you are... Fuck Leo. I know you're crying, you don't need to force your sobs down, I'm feeling my shoulder wet already.
I know ya said to let you be but... "...Leo?"
"...I-I'm so tired.. of-of everything..."
"Leo..." Talk to me, please.
"I-I know I sound so weak like that b-but... I-I sorry, I'm tired, so sick of it"
No, fuck, you don't sound weak. You're not weak.
"I-I can't e-even sleep anymore..."
Yeah, guessed so when saw you on the kitchen yesterday, drinking one of my beers at 2AM thinking nobody saw you, but I ain't gonna bring that now.
"I-I am so worried about everything now, an-and I tried to be strong, b-but I can't! It-It wasn't... It wasn't e-enough! I-I am so sorry I couldn't be strong for you!"
No, you're not weak, Leo. You're strong, heck, you're one of the strongest people I've seen. And you still are.
"Hey..." Leo, believe me, you're not weak.
"...I-I know i-it's sounds stupid but... I-I sorry f-for being a weak like that, I, I should be strong, a-a better example for you!"
You are the best example we could have dammit. I know how much you sacrifice yourself for this family.
Fuck Leo, don't cry like that.
"Hey... You gotta be strong for no one except for ya self... And once you get tired of being so strong like you are, you can count on us Leo. We won't make less of ya for it, we're family, and we want to be strong for ya too." Heck, this was stupid. I can't even say something good when you need to hear it! But believe me, you're not alone, I know you got what I wanted to mean.
Leo. Stop crying, you don't gotta do it alone, I'm here. You shouldn't be crying, you're fearless... Leo...
Leo, look at me. I take his head careful on my hands, but he still doesn't look at me."There's nothing to worry about when I'm here." I kiss him, on the forehead. It was something Sensei used to do with us every time we were sad or had a nightmare. I kiss him almost every day, but not like this, this one doesn't have second intentions, this one doesn't just show I love him but also that I care, I understand, and that I don't think he is weak.
He stopped crying, this is good. But now he's hugging me tight again, I won't complain this time, he needs it and I need to make sure that he'll be okay.
"Well..." Here goes my serious and concerned part being thrown by the window. "...Except for yer ass, that's somethin' ta worry about"
He chuckles and scoffs. Guess it's a good sign.
"You dare to make me laugh?"
He also loosened up the bear hug, he's just nuzzling on my neck, which is also a good sign.
"'Course I do." Heck yeah, I love hear your laughing again. "Gimme that cute laugh of yers!" I drop my hands down to his sides, letting go of his shell when I was holding him, and then start to tickle, like when we were kids.
He laughs, man, how good it feels hearing his laugh again.
"Raph!"
I'm not good with words, just with actions, and if my actions means I get to see him smiling and laughing like a dork, I'm not gonna stop.
"Stop!"
Damn.
I smile, he's almost crying again but I know it's not 'cause he is sad. So, I keep tickling him.
"Really, s-stop!"
He's almost breathless now, I let him go, just to hug him again.
"Alright then..." I can feel him smiling against my neck. I smile back. "...But you do realize that now I have you I won't let ya go, right?" I won't, I'm holding you now and I won't let ya go off of my arms so soon like that.
He's not crying, I know that, he's just smiling because I can feel it.
"I hope so, Raph."
And I sit there, holding my leader as I was asked five minutes ago, smiling, like an idiot.
And you know what, who cares for wrestling anyway.
