It started a year ago. I was with Tim and some other guys from the team, fooling around in the hallway in between classes…the usual. Lucas was across the way at his locker. The door was closed over so he was hidden. My friends were laughing at him, saying that he was probably reading some complicated book that we weren't even assigned. I joined in because I didn't see him as my brother; he wasn't, anyway. Our only connection was Dan, and as far as I was concerned, neither of us was even connected to him. Maybe that's what we had in common, what could have brought us together back then. But I didn't see it. At least not at that moment in the hallway.
Suddenly I saw him come out of his locker, closing the door and smiling at someone to the right of him. There were too many people walking between us for me to follow his gaze, but I wondered who it could be. I realized that I never really noticed who Lucas hung around with. In a few seconds, I finally spotted her. Well, the back of her. I could only tell that she was a small brunette girl with a pen resting above her ear and a stack of books in her hand . Typical. What did I think, Lucas would be walking to class with some hot babe?
Then the bell rang and she turned around. I think my heart might have stopped because it seemed like I'd been gone for a while when I heard Tim calling to me. "You coming or what?" I didn't know what to say. She was beautiful. Disregarding the fact that she had a pitiful fashion sense and looked like she actually did her homework, her eyes and lips and the way her hair perfectly framed her face made me stop in my tracks. I think it was the first time I actually saw someone, I mean really saw them. I was pretty close to dismissing her when I saw that poncho and stack of textbooks. But God, when I saw her face, my heart learned how to put all of that aside. Her expression almost revealed her entire personality: kind, caring, perky, intelligent…I never thought I would be jealous of Lucas because of the way someone smiled at him.
Finally, I realized that she was no longer there. Neither was Lucas, or anyone for that matter. I had gotten distracted, and I was completely amazed by who did it to me. Even the fact that it was a person. Usually, basketball was the only thing that could make me lose focus on other things, like friends, family, and school. But a girl? I'd been with lots of them; maybe I'd made them think they were special enough to make me lose track of my thoughts. But not even Peyton did that to me. And she was supposed to be my girl.
I figured I'd better run to class. Tim and the guys were probably already laughing at me instead of Lucas, commenting on the fact that I was losing my mind, staring into space. No one, not even I, knew at that time that I was staring at my future, the missing link in my life. I slid into my desk and ignored my friends, who tried to ask me what was going on. I made a quick decision in my head to pretend that it was nothing, to not admit what I was thinking about, who I was looking at. After class, everyone had already forgotten about it. Everyone except me.
While I was getting dressed for practice, Whitey approached me. My jaw almost dropped as I looked beside him at who he'd referred to as the new player. I'd been expecting exactly what Coach had told us. The kid was underprivileged and a really good ball player. He had no father and played pick-up at some crappy court down the street. Now Whitey was giving him a chance; maybe it could get him somewhere. It all sounded like a great Cinderella story. I would take the new guy under my wing and make both of us look good. Everything was okay until I saw Lucas standing with Whitey. I actually took off my headphones for that introduction. I couldn't wait to hear Coach tell me this was seriously the boy he was talking about. When Lucas joined the team, our worlds were turned upside down. I was changed. Too bad I didn't know that it was for the better.
I talked about it with my dad when I got home. He shook his head at Whitey and his efforts to make Lucas look a little less pathetic. He came up with a suggestion that I teach the kid a lesson, play him at this dive of a court with everyone watching and show him who's boss. The next day in school, some of the Ravens and I went up and challenged Lucas. After a little hesitation, he accepted, and that night, I showed up at the river court.
Most of the crowd was made up of my friends…Peyton and Brooke, Tim and all the guys, even some people I'd only met once at parties. I didn't even think about the game itself. It was only Lucas, after all. What did he know about basketball? The whole thing was a complete joke. I was only doing it to make a fool of him, maybe make Whitey second-guess his "talent" or "promise", or whatever it was he saw in Lucas.
The game was actually a little more competitive than I'd expected. I could handle it though. Everyone there knew that I would bring it when it came down to the last basket. And it did come down to that. Because I let it. I took the ball into my hands. This was it. The moment when I would reclaim my spot on the team and intimidate my opponent to the point where he wasn't confident enough to play with the Ravens.
But then I saw her again. That girl. This time, she was looking at me, too. She was nervously rubbing her palms together and biting her lip. But most importantly, her eyes and mine were locked. I looked away, trying to focus, and gave Luke the ball, giving him the signal to go. But I was wrong in thinking that I could actually concentrate after seeing those brown eyes. To be completely honest, I didn't even see the ball go in the hoop or hear the cheers or notice the looks my friends gave me. I just saw her smile again as she jumped into Lucas's arms.
And right then and there, I knew that I needed her. I wanted her to smile like that at me; I wanted her to see me as someone more than her best friend's arrogant half-brother. So, like always, I decided I would follow my gut feeling and get what I wanted. But I wasn't strong. At least not back then. I couldn't just do something others would criticize me for, and sit back while my image as a popular jock was being tarnished. I needed to come up with some sort of excuse. Some way to justify why I was so intrigued by this girl. And then, in the midst of the post-game yelling, talking, cheers, and laughter, the idea came to me. I would say I was trying to mess with Lucas. The truth was, I could have cared less about him. But I simply had to convince everyone that I was out to get him. Because it was the only way I could possibly be out to get her.
Believe it or not, it all turned out the way I planned. Just like I thought, Haley's personality was just as beautiful as her outer appearance. It took me a while, but I finally got her to see that my feelings were real. And one day, she even gave me that smile. The one I'd been waiting for since the day I first saw her.
We fell in love, and it was like nothing I'd ever felt before. It began with tutoring, but before I knew it, I wasn't just better in Math and English. I was a better man. And I didn't just show that new side of me to Haley. I went from not caring about Lucas to accepting him, to liking him, to calling him my friend, and finally, to loving him as my brother.
I never thought I'd be married in my junior year of high school. Actually, I never thought I'd become a lot of the things that I am now. If we'd recorded the time capsule the night of that one-on-one game against Lucas, my predictions and thoughts about the future would have been dead wrong. But I married Haley because I knew I'd found the one. I'd never cared about anything except basketball, until she came along, and made basketball seem insignificant compared to the love I felt for her.
Sure, we had our fights like any other couple. I made mistakes, and so did she. We didn't always agree, we didn't always get along, but we cared so deeply about each other that nothing ever really, truly came between us. Well, not until now anyway.
His name is Chris. He's the key to Haley's success, the man who will finally show her musical talent to the world and help her get the recognition she deserves. I tried to tell her that I don't trust him around her, that she can do well in music on her own, that it's not worth losing our relationship if it doesn't work out. I gave her an ultimatum and told her if she goes on tour with him, it's over. I thought that was just another mistake to be forgiven. I was wrong.
I went outside to clear my head. I walked by our table, the one we had our first tutoring session at. Suddenly I had a flashback. Poncho. Cracker jacks. Smile. Don't say I never gave you anything. I turned around. I ran back. It was all a blur, until I saw the plastic bracelet, abandoned on the table. Haley's sister looked at me, silently telling me I was too late. Every individual moment of the last year seemed to flash before my eyes. I took myself back to that hallway. I was back there, I swore to myself I was still there, peering through the crowds at that mystery girl. I said to myself over and over that she was a still a mystery, that I didn't really fall in love with her and screw it up yet, that I still had time to do it all the right way.
But now I'm back here, in this empty apartment. I'm not staring into space anymore. I'm not staring at my future. I'm staring at heartache and regret. I pull myself up. Hands shaking, I take the keyboard I bought her. The one I thought would keep Haley's dreams closer to home, closer to me. Seconds later it's smashed against the wedding wall, which breaks in half, just like us, just like our love.
Everything we built, everything we've become, the journey from strangers to soul mates…it all comes to a screeching halt. That day in the hallway is a distant memory. I finally tell myself that it's over. She's on that tour bus. She's gone.
It started a year ago. And it ends tonight.