Note: Ok, so this is just a ridiculous piece of nothing that popped into my head just yesterday and I HAD to write. So basically I've been meaning to write a Percabeth message conversation only for a week, and then yesterday I was reading Hannah's fics with the prompt meme, and I thought, why don't I write a fanfic using all the prompts? And so I did. It's ridiculous, pontless, some parts may even be senseless, but I hope you enjoy it anyway. Oh, PS, let's pretend that cellphones are ok or that someone developed one that demigods can use or something like that. OH! PS number two: it doesn't look like they're texts because nothing is abreviated, but I'm brazilian, so I decided to go for the whole word instead of using things I'm not used to. Forgive me. Bold is Percy, Italic is Annabeth.
Beth?
Yes, Percy?
Do you know those blueprints that were on the top of our coffee table?
Yeah, what about them?
Wait, what do you mean "were"?
I may or may not have spilled some coffee in some of them. Maybe.
WHAT? Perseus Jackson, do you have any idea how many nights I've spent awake working on them?
No, I obviously don't notice when you're absent from our bed.
Don't get sarcastic on me, those blueprints were important!
They're not ruined. I've dried them off with a hairdryer and now they're by the window to get some sun.
The coffee stain is just a light brown mark.
Ok. I hope I don't have to redo them.
But could you please be more careful? You complain all the time about how I sleep late, but you're surely not helping giving me extra work.
Come on, it's not like I shredded them! And it's not like I did it on purpose either.
I know. Anyway, I just hope they're ok. It was some of my finest work.
Everything's going to be fine.
Geez, who is dramatizing things now?
Just trying to be supportive here. Support my support!
You're helpless.
Yeah, but I love you.
You're also super cheesy.
Yeah, but .you. love it.
.you.?
I'm emphasizing it, pretend it's underlined or something.
Good gods, you're hopeless.
I am! Actually, I'm .hopelessly devoted to you.
Really, Percy? Grease? At two in the afternoon on whatsapp?
I've got one word for you: sing-along.
I'm not singing grease with you, although you totally .would. be Sandra Dee.
Oh, you're using my .x. thing. Love proof.
It's just practical.
And smart. Say it.
I did, but you can't hear me. :)
Haha. Very funny.
I should go. The girls are calling me over and threatening to throw my cellphone on the fishtank.
Please stay.
Really, you're awfully dramatic today.
I miss you.
You saw me this morning.
So? Still miss you. But ok, go over, try a dress or something and send me a photo.
You wanna give me an approval?
Pff, please. I just wanna see it before everyone else.
Such a dork. But ok, give me a few minutes and I'll send you a photo.
If you feel the need to buy lingerie and send me photos as well, be my guest.
…
I like this dress, what do you think?
That's a good look for you. I think you look amazing.
Thanks. Oh, here, for the lingerie thing.
WTH! Where the fuck did that clown come from?
Hahaha. That's what you get for begin a Seaweed Brain ;)
I'll never unsee that.
Good.
You're a meanie, d'you know that?
You know you love it.
Stealing my lines, WG?
It's called "mocking", SB.
See? Meanie.
Child.
Anyway, are you gonna buy that dress? What time will be home?
How controlling.
I'm just lonely. The bed feels empty without you.
It's past two in the afternoon, Percy, what are you doing in bed?
Waiting for you.
Are you flirting with me?
When am I not?
Fair point. Idk, the girls are still looking out and then they wanna go to another store, so I think I'll look around a little bit more too.
Annaaaaabeeeeeeeth!
Stop being such a child, Percy, I asked if you wanted to come along.
May the gods forbid me of ever having to go shopping with Piper.
I'd scold you for that, but you have a point.
So you .would. rather be here with me, huh?
Don't make it into a big deal.
Sorry, it already went all the way to my ego.
Like it could get any bigger.
You'd be surprised :)
After all these years with you I hardly doubt you could surprise me.
Just wait until you get home.
There .is. something, isn't there? You were needy out of the ordinary!
Ok, yeah, so maybe there's something I've been meaning to say…
What?
Can't you just come and see it?
What did you get yourself into, Percy?
Ugh. Fine. After I put your blueprint next to our window to dry I stepped on the mattress and I kind of got my foot stuck on the bed.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Can we pretend I didn't just say that?
Hahahaha, maybe after I stop laughing, we can.
You know what, this is the last time I ask you for a favor!
Send me a photo of you stuck and I'll go home right now.
Annabeth!
Please, I need this. The girls would never believe me.
Of course they would, it's me.
Fair point. But I still want the picture, or you'll have to wait another hour before I head home.
You are the meanest person of the entire planet.
Not the way to treat the only person that could save you right now.
Damn it. Ok, here it goes a photo. There, happy? Now come over!
Oh gods, how did you even manage that? Hahaha
Just get over here!
You forgot to say the magic word.
Could you fucking please come and help me?
Ok, ok. Wait right there, don't move!
Was that supposed to be funny? Because, yk, it wasn't.
Sure it was. Now calm down, I'm heading to the parking lot.
Thank gods.
You know, you could've said you needed me to help you in the first message.
Yeah.
… and? Why didn't you?
I was trying to get it out on my own ok? But then I got .more. stuck. Happy?
That is one hell of a mess, huh?
You know me, go big or go home.
Yeah, well, at least you excel even in being bad.
Stop trying to cheer me up! I got my foot stuck in our bed, it's humiliation enough as it is.
If there's one thing the world needs more of…
You'll never let me live this down, will you?
Do you even need to ask? I fairly remember promising no never make things easy on you.
Yeah, like, five years ago. About time you dropped it.
How far is the parking lot anyway?
Oh, I'm already in the car. Just thought you'd like to keep talking to me.
Can I tell you a secret? You suck.
Who is mean now?
My foot is hurting ok, and I can't see it, but I'm pretty sure it's broken or something.
You stuck your foot in a bed, Percy, it's not broken. Try to take the mattress off around you so you could see better.
You want me to do .what.? Not like I can lift the mattress while stuck in it, yk.
You were the one stupid enough to get stuck in the mattress. Do you know how thick is is for you to make a hole in all of it?
Well, I .did. suggest we buy a new one just last week.
Ok, this one's on me. Sorry.
Could you repeat that? I want to print it and frame it in our wall.
Sure, I can repeat it as many times as you want me to.
You're still in the parking lot, aren't you?
I'm leaving, ok! More ten minutes and I'll be home.
…
It's been eleven minutes, I hope you're coming up already.
Thirteen minutes.
Just parked in our garage! Coming up! Calm down.
Good. Obviously waiting in the bedroom.
Must admit this isn't exactly what I had in mind.
We can always do what you had in mind later.
As if, gonna be laughing about this all day to do anything else.
We have the whole day. It's never too late.
You're so deep today.
…
I hope that wasn't intentionally a pun because it was by far the most horrible one I've ever heard. Ever. Like, forever.
And, btw, where are you?
I'm lost.
What? How did you get lost in our building? We've been living here for two years.
No, dumbass, I'm lost about the pun. I'm coming up the stairs, the elevator is not working.
Oh, deep, I get it! Hahahaha I hope that had been intentional, it was amazing.
It was not. And I can't believe the elevator is not working today, just my luck.
Must be a day ending in a y.
What?
Nevermind. I'm almost there, just three more floors.
Thank gods!
Hey, have you seen the…
Oh.
This doesn't sound good. What?
Do you remember where my key is?
Well, it's you key, so I expect it to be in your purse.
Oh, .hell.
Yeah. It's with you.
Use the spare key. It's in the door sold.
I'm not putting my hand up there, there's probably a spider land or something.
Really? You're gonna leave me stuck here because there may be spiders there?
Calm down, I asked for the neighbor to give me a hand.
What? The guy next door that totally has a crush on you?
Yeah, that guy. Unless you want to be stuck there for another hour, I don't see who else I could call.
Godammit, this day literally .can't. get worse.
There, he got it for me and cleaned all the spider webs.
He's probably gonna invite you to dinner now.
Percy, we've been living here for two years, he knows I have a boyfriend.
I didn't say he didn't know, I just don't think he cares.
Wait, if you got the key, why are we still texting anyway?
Oh, yeah, how stupid.
…
Percy, I think you missed your calling.
Just get over here!