Happily (N)ever After Contest
Title: Never again
Characters: Eric Northman and Sookie Stackhouse
Pen name: cris1224
Word Count: 2,743
Beta: All About Eric
Disclaimer: I don't own anything; I'm poor so please don't sue. I'm just borrowing Charlaine Harris' characters and playing with them for a while.
Summary: This story takes place during Charlaine Harris's fourth book, when Sookie and Eric come back home from the Witch War and Sookie finds Debbie Pelt in her kitchen with a gun. But Eric doesn't come in time to take the bullet...
A/N " I would like to thank my beta, All About Eric, for being my inspiration, for supporting me and especially for all the patience that she has had with me. I couldn't do it without you AAE!"
"You have blood all over you," he said into my ear.
"Yes, but don't get excited about it," I warned. "It doesn't do a thing for me. I just want to shower." I was at the hiccupping-sob stage of crying, almost done.
"You'll have to get rid of this coat now," he said, with some satisfaction.
"I'll get it cleaned." I was too tired to respond to disparaging comments about my coat. Getting away from the weight and smell of the magic was almost as good as a big cup of coffee and a hit of oxygen. By the time I got close to Bon Temps, I wasn't feeling so ragged, and I was calm as I let us in the back door. Eric came in behind me and took a step to my right to go around the kitchen table, as I leaned left to flick on the light switch.
When I turned on the light, Debbie Pelt was smiling at me.
She had been sitting in the dark at my kitchen table, and she had a gun in her hand.
Without saying a word, she fired at me.
I heard Eric roaring:
"Sookie!"
I'm looking at her in disbelief...What is going on? I ask myself. Did the bitch just shoot me? Isn't this supposed to hurt like hell..? ? ? Oh wait.. here it comes... and in that moment a ravaging pain just shoots through me.
I hear Eric shouting something and a crunching sound that probably means that Debbie is not gonna get out of my house alive... Oh, crap, another person dead because of me! My list is just getting longer and longer...I really didn't need this right now; I'm dying... What? ? ? ? ? Wait! ! ! Am I going to die? ? ?
I try to call Eric to help me but he doesn't hear me... He's probably draining Debbie right now, but I need him; I need him to help me stop the pain and the bleeding...I don't want to die! I have to try harder. Oh God, please, I haven't been all that bad, have I? I'm just twenty-six, I have a lot of things to accomplish still in this life, it can't be really over for me... I gather all my strength:
"Eri..." my voice croaks.
I have to try again:
"Eric..."
"Sookie, no, NOOO! SOOKIE!"
His voice is like music to my ears. Finally he's at my side, crouching, trying to lift me up.
"Aaaaa," I whimper in pain.
God this hurts so bad. But now Eric is here, he'll know what to do.. . Oh wait, this is not the Eric that knows what to do in every situation; this is the confused and scared Eric that can't make any decision without me. I try to lead him in the right direction:
"Doctoooorr..." the whisper is so low that if Eric hadn't been a vampire, he wouldn't have heard a thing.
"How do I find a doctor? Where do I find a doctor?" he shouts at me. "Tell me what to do Sookie! You're dying!"
Well, great! Like I didn't know that already! My breathing comes shallower, and my head feels lighter. Oh God, no! I have to retain my conciousness, I can't faint now. Eric would just let me die in the state of agitation he is in right now.
"Sookie, please, tell me what to do! Lover, don't die on me, you're all I've got!... Sookie, please...I love you," he pleads.
He loves me. My heart seems to expand with joy. HE LOVES ME! I don't care that I am hurting like hell; it doesn't matter that I am dying, nothing matters anymore: He loves me!
"Sookie, pleeeaassse!" I hear him cry.
Oh, right; I have to tell him what to do.
"Pamm..."
Eric jumps out of my sight to call Pam. My vision starts to blur, I'm holding to consciousness with teeth and claws but everything seems so far away. I feel like I'm going underwater. Deeper and deeper...I love you too, baby...
I open my eyes and see nothing but dirt everywhere. What the hell! ! ! Where am I? It smells so strongly of earth and dead plants and rain. What happened to me? Where am I? How did I get here?
I hear the sound of someone moving the dirt. Two hands appear in my vision and I see everything! Every pore, every molecule... Oh my God! Oh, this can't be! Why? Who? Why?
And then everything comes back to me: I was dying, Eric was calling Pam…. Is this what she told him to do? Really?
How the hell am I going to explain this to her? Eric can be such a cold bastard sometimes…
NO! My blood freezes in my veins. I did not just hear Pam thinking, did I? The hands are doing a very good job removing the dirt from above me. I'm starting to help her and I'm out of the hole in no time.
"Good evening, sister. Are you thirsty?"
My fangs snap into place. Oh my God! I have fangs! Of course; I would have to have fangs, I'm a vampire now, but somehow the realization has just hit me. I have fangs! I snap my hand over my mouth and I realize that I'm very hungry (or thirsty) and my throat is burning pretty badly.
"Yes, Pam, thank you."
There's no reason to be impolite.
"Pam, what's going on? Why am I a vampire and where is Eric? Did he..."
"Drinks first, talk later," she cuts me off. "Do you prefer fresh or bottled?"
"Fresh? As in human? Ewww! Pam! For God's sake! You didn't bring a human here?… Wherever here is…"
"Of course not," she replies in her trademark bored tone. "I know you are a sensitive one, but I thought I should ask; you never know with the newborns…."
She gives me a bottle of True Blood, which is already warm. How did she manage to warm it here...wait… that's my house! I'm in the backyard of my house! I drink the bottle all the way to the bottom and it tastes like crap, but I'm really hungry… or should I say thirsty? I can't figure it out. It's so strange, everything is different… like everything has gone from the images you see in sixties and seventies movies to the marvels of 3D.
This is actually very nice. I don't feel like I'm changed, inside; I feel the same. Almost. I love the sun; In the hot days of summer I love sitting outside on the porch in the swing that Jason installed two years ago, drinking iced tea and reading a good romance novel... never again would I feel the warm rays of the sun on my skin; never again would I enjoy an iced tea or a good apple pie, like my Gran used to make for Jason and me … Jason! How am I gonna tell him that I'm dead? Or undead? My eyes fill with tears. My brother, my friends, everyone I know... am I gonna lose them all now that I'm not the same ol' Sookie? Are they going to accept me like this? Am I gonna be able to accept myself like this? And Sam… Will he let me keep working for him? Maybe I could do the late shift, or will he think that is too dangerous for the customers? Will I be a danger to them? Will I want to drain everyone? Oh, God! I feel myself shaking…
Well, she seams to be taking it rather easy. That's good because I would hate to have to deal with all the tears if she starts loosing it. It' enough that I ruined my clothes and this nice Manolo pumps, Eric is so gonna buy be the entire summer Prada collection…
I made sure to keep my face blank – it had taken a long time for me to keep what I heard in my head from affecting my facial expressions too much.
"Look, Sookie…" I hear Pam plead.
"Pam, I'll handle this, you may go."
"Eric…"
"Leave, Pamela!"
Eric? Eric's here? How did I not notice him?
"Eric, baby…"
"Don't ever call me that! I don't know what happened during the time I spent at your house being cursed; Pam told me we seemed close, but hear this: you will never call me anything other than Master! And you will tell me everything that happened in this last week! Every single word, every single move, EVERYTHING! And most of all, you will tell me why the hell I find myself as the Maker of the most exasperating woman I've ever met in my entire existence!"
Oh no! This is not happening! How bad can it get? I thought I had already known the worst about my situation, but now it seemed that that was just the appetizer. The pain that was coursing through me had me frozen in my place; my dead heart was being ripped apart into tiny little pieces. I'd never known pain could be like this. Not when my parents died; not even when my Gran was murdered; not even when I was dying. The claws in my chest were breaking everything inside me.
"Eric…"
I didn't know what to say. The words were so foreign to me, I couldn't say anything. I was just staring at him, with tears of blood running down my face.
"Eric…"
Why was I being punished like this? Hadn't my life been hard enough? I lost my parents, everyone treats me like a freak, Uncle Bartlet… and I was deprived of my Gran! She was my only support; the only person who loved me and cared for me, knowing me for who I was without wishing I was different, better. I had no one to care for me anymore (it was not like I could ever count on Jason), my first and only boyfriend cheated on me, raped me and almost drained me… I'd had such a hard life. Shouldn't that be enough suffering? Shouldn't I get my chance for happiness? He said he loved me…
"Eric…"
"Enough of this!" he roars. "Let's go, I have several things to do and the dawn is approaching! You had better learn your place from the beginning because I'm not gonna tolerate any disrespect from you! Needless to say, I'm not satisfied with this situation. I don't have the time or the disposition for training a newborn, and even if I had, you are not the type of child I would choose. Well, too late now… We will meet at Fangtasia in one hour. Use this time to gather everything you need - you will not coming back to this shit-hole. Take a shower and dress in something appropriate - not that you own anything even close to my idea of appropriate - and drive to Sheveport. You will enter through the Employees' door and come straight to my office. Is everything clear?"
I just nod. I feel every word that is coming from his mouth like a knife going through my chest. How can he be so heartless? So cold, so evil? Even if he doesn't remember the time we spent together in the last week, he used to like me before… I don't understand…
My musing must have been distracted me because I didn't even notice him leaving. Now what? This is going to be my life from this point on? A Maker that neither wants nor needs me? a lover that doesn't remember me? A friend that does not want to talk to or listen to me? Is this what I'll have? I will have to leave my house, my friends, my brother, all my life behind me and become a heartless monster like the one that just left me here minutes ago? He will probably kill me anyway if he finds out I can "hear" vampires now. And he will know. He is my Maker.
No! I will not do this! Maybe I can't choose where to live, or even how to live for that matter, but I can choose when and how to die. He can not rob me of that!
I look down at myself: I'm still wearing the jeans and tee that I had on me when Debbie shot me. I was covered in blood, mud and things that I didn't even want to identify. Well, even if I'm going to die for good this time, that's no reason not to clean myself. I'm going to go on my terms, like a lady, like Gran taught me.
I go into my house. Everything seems suddenly so dull, so old. It smells so putrid, like it's been years since I've been here… it doesn't matter; I won't be here too long, anyway. I go into my bathroom to shower, wash my hair, brush my teeth; I put on some make up and a drop of perfume. Oh, this smells so strong! Oh, right. Vampire senses…
I dress myself in my favorite sundress, the one I wore the first time I went to Fangtasia. That seems such a long time ago... like it's been in another life… like it happened to another person. If only I could turn back time to that moment! If I hadn't gone to Fangtasia that night… or better yet if I hadn't saved Bill from the drainers the first night I met him.. then my Gran would still be alive, I wouldn't be alone and I wouldn't be a vampire right now. I would be at the kitchen table with Gran, talking about how it's been at work and what she plans for the next meeting with her friends from the Descendants of the Glorious Dead… Oh God, if I could just return to the moment I first set eyes on Bill! I would run in the other direction and everything would be good again…
I tremble and whimper in pain. My cheeks are covered in the blood of my tears again. No! I will not think about this anymore; there's no point. I can't change anything, I can't turn back time. Why suffer like this if there's nothing I can do about it? I'm a Stackhouse woman! We are strong! We do not let anything break us! Except… I'm already broken…
I put some ballet shoes on and go outside. At the horizon I see the sky begin to change color. It won't be long now… I walk purposefully to the cemetery. I make my way to my Gran's grave and drop to my knees. The ground is still wet from the yesterday's rain, but I don't even notice the way it smears my beautiful dress. I miss my Gran so much… she has been my everything: my mother, my friend, my teacher, everything… Where are you Gran? Are you in heaven? Does it really exist? Or is it just another fairytale that people invented to keep them from fearing death too much… but if there is a heaven, then my Gran will definitely be there. And hopefully so will I…
"Hi Gran, it's Sookie. I'm in trouble again… but this time I can't see a way to make it work… I wish you were here Gran… OH, GOD HOW I WISH YOU WERE HERE!" I sob. "I'm sorry I'm not enough to fight my way out of this, but I'm just me… like I've always been… Gran, please, wait for me…."
Right in front of me I see the sky beginning to light up. This is it…
"I'm coming Gran."
The End ( or to be continued?)
A/N Please let me know what you think. If you liked it then I will write a sequel to it.