As I approach my office, I can hear feminine giggles and whispers from the outer office where the teaching aides have their desks. They customarily take turns holding office hours there. The office hours for my Intermediate Vulcan course are scheduled to continue for another 27 minutes, therefore there is a 93% likelihood that the giggles and whispers are from some of my students.
"You have to admit he has a hot ass."
"You're talking about a superior officer." I recognize Uhura's voice, although there is an undercurrent of amusement to her rebuke.
"I'll say." A second student. I do not recognize the voice of either, but then I rarely hear my students speak unless they are butchering Vulkannsu.
"Natasha, you're terrible," Uhura admonishes.
Ah, Cadet Zarko.
"That's not what he'd say."
"Stop it."
"Why? He's not even here yet."
"Because he'll hear you before you hear him coming."
True enough.
"At least admit that he has a hot ass."
The conversation suddenly changes track and when I walk into the office 16 seconds later, a discussion of Vulcan verb tenses is in full force. A trio of innocent faces turn to me as I enter, though I note that Uhura seems amused. By the time I reach my office, the duo are asking Uhura questions about their coursework.
As I unlock my office door, I hear Cadet Zarko whisper, "What did I tell you?" to the other two, apparently certain that I can not hear her and that her earlier comments have gone unnoticed.
Before I close my office door, I turned back to the trio huddled around Uhura's desk.
"Vulcan body temperature is higher than that of humans."
The cadets look up, puzzled at the apparent non-sequitur. Uhura tries but fails to look surprised.
"Sir?" Cadet Zarko breaks the silence.
"By definition, all Vulcan body parts are hotter than those of humans."
Cadet Zarko looks somewhat puzzled. The other cadet turns pale. Uhura is amused. Satisfied with myself, I enter my office. I can hear giggling as soon as I close the door.
Twenty-six minutes later, there is a knock on my door and I look up to see Uhura slip into the office. She places a data cube with the students' assignments onto my desk.
"You know, you're lucky that most people don't realize that you have a sense of humour."
"And why is that?"
"If they knew you had a sense of humour, they might think you were flirting with them."
Not them. Just you.
Pursuing that train of thought is unwise.
"You never did contribute your opinion on the matter."
This is highly inappropriate. She could report you.
"Yes, I did."
Indeed?
"I had no comment on the matter," she says, her cadence and inflection mimicking my own.
"I see," I say, amused at her choice of deflection.
"Is there anything else, sir?"
"No. Dismissed."
"Goodnight, sir."