Frasier sat with a copy of The Wall Street Journal and relaxed with a glass of Sherry. Awaiting Niles arrival, Daphne was in her room and his father had gone to bed a few hours ago. It was nearly eleven, yet Maris and Niles had been out all afternoon and evening. Niles always got a hard time for Maris.
The door opened with much enthusiasm. "Evening Frasier" said Niles in his usual 'nothing is wrong' manner. Carrying a box. "My Maris and I went to see a show."
"A show?" said Frasier scanning a mental diary that he took. He could think of no shows that Maris would be interested in seeing, and Maris and Niles only went to a show that Maris and Maris would enjoy.
"Well no, Not a show as such Frasier, We had….." a smile broke through on Niles calm appearance. Frasier knew the answer.
"Now Frasier what I wanted to ask is, Could you fill in for my Maris and I at this ghastly charity event on Saturday?"
"Which is that?" asked Frasier
"Oh the Admiral Cochrane Foundation, After that Wretched Scot who helped establish independence for a variety of nations."
"But, I though Maris wanted to go, For she has a large number of Hispanic friends has she not?"
"Yes she does. But my Maris can't stand being in the same room of those people"
"What people?"
"People who eat as much food as they do!"
"Well Niles that shouldn't be too hard. Have I to do anything?"
"Actually. What do you know about Admiral Cochrane?"
"Nothing. Except that he was a Scot of some kind. With a foundation named after him." Frasier let out a tremendous laugh at his excellent wit. "Should I know more?"
The box that Niles had been carrying was emptied of its contents, Histories of South America; The Autobiography of Admiral Cochrane; A Book about the Scottish Mafia; Accounts of the Cochrane Foundation and a list of people attending the event. "A lot of reading Niles?" laughed Frasier "You would do this much studying to look smart at a fundraiser?"
"Actually Frasier, I was asked to do a half hour speech about the history of the man."
"Why?" asked Frasier "You're a Psychiatrist, Their must be half a dozen doctorates of history at this event."
"No. Haha. You see Frasier, Maris was rather, Picky about donating to the foundation this year. In that, she didn't know she'd been donating five hundred dollars a month for the last year. Sloppy accounting of the highest standard, Anyway, in the hope of getting revenge on it – she wished to strip it of its standing among historical foundations."
"So she forced them to un-invite all accredited historians?" Frasier laughed, this behaviour was typical of Maris. "Surely they give a lot more than 500 between them."
"Yes, However Frasier, Maris knows the Chairman of the Foundation." Niles looked even more uncomfortable. "The chairman Frasier, is you."
"What?" Frasier jumped up from his seat and threw down the copy of the 1994 accounting down, These were the latest available accounts. "You don't mean to say that, I am Chairman of a Foundation I know nothing about?"
"Why yes Frasier. And, I neglected to point out that there are several people with PhDs of History that will be going to this event. It is simply customary that the Chairman give a speech summarising why the foundation exists and….. Well, you'll have to do it."
"Why on Earth?" said Frasier
"Must I ask you really? I am fed up of Maris winning, I want this foundation to beat her, Perhaps it might humble her. Make her more open to concession" Frasier felt an enormous sympathy for his brother Niles.
"Well all right Niles. I can deliver the speech!" Frasier sat back down on his chair. Almost midnight. He looked at his paper, Wednesday August 17th 1994, it was out of date now.