Kurt is sad that he and Finn aren't on speaking terms anymore and he wishes something would happen so they could finally talk about the elephant in the room. Rated M for slight language. I don't own the characters, yadda yadda.
Kurt walked down the hallway and peeked around a door to see if anyone was in the bathroom. He knew Finn was in the house somewhere getting ready. Their mom and dad were out picking up last-minute snacks and things for the big game. Drat. I was hoping I'd run into Finn in here. Kurt quickly brushed his disappointment aside and strode into the bathroom to do one final touch up on his hair. Lost in thought, Kurt began to wonder if he and Finn would ever have a normal relationship again. Forget brothers thought Kurt; I just want us to be friends again. I miss us.
Finn was packing his usual football game necessities with a few additional items specifically geared towards the half-time show. He suddenly realized he hadn't packed any sort of makeup remover. He opened his mouth to call to his mother and then remembered she was still out. I'm sure she won't mind if I borrow some without asking. It's not like I'm going to eat the stuff.
He jogged toward the bathroom and (without really looking) pushed the bathroom door right into Kurt, startling them both. The boys stood looking at each other. Finn shifted his eyes around the room and he shrugged. He caught Kurt's eye. Nodding towards the mirrors, Kurt followed the gesture and realized Finn wanted access to the medicine cabinet. Kurt obliged, silently sidestepping so Finn could get what he came for. Finn opened his mouth to say something but he was interrupted by the sound of a phone. His eyes pleading with Kurt's for understand, Finn ran down the stairs to answer the phone.
"Sure, no problem. Let's just keep carrying on like we're both ghosts and we don't care about each other. That's a healthy way to live, Finn!" Kurt left the bathroom and yelled down the stairs. When Finn didn't respond immediately, Kurt slammed the bathroom door and ran down to the kitchen.
"Thanks. Yup. Bye." Finn pushed the hang-up button on the phone and stared at Kurt. "What is your problem, Kurt? I was on the phone."
"Problem? I don't have a problem, Finn. Oh wait...yes I do. You and I started out as classmates. Then we became teammates which lead to our eventual friendship. Perish the thought, right? Being friends with a gay guy who has a crush on you and on top of that you have to sing together. You live such a tortured existence. And then as if all of that wasn't bad enough, our parents liked each other so much that they decided to get married. Now your classmate/teammate/friend/frienemy is your brother too? You are just a glutton for punishment, aren't you?"
"KURT!" Finn screamed in his brothers' face. Kurt was taken aback by this sudden outburst and let out a small whimper. Finn, still raging slightly, closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. "I'm sorry for yelling but I was wondering if or when you were going to let me have a word in edgewise. Are you done?" Finn asked calmly.
"For the moment." Kurt said quietly.
"Look yes, all of that is true. I'm not denying a spec of it. What I'm wondering is what you want me to do exactly. Since you transferred to Dalton, I haven't seen much of you. Our social circles aren't running in the same direction anymore, our schedules don't match up at all; you're on a rival school choir, Kurt. I mean what did you expect? Did you think everything would just stay the same? You thought you could run away and nothing would change?"
Kurt's eyes went wide in acknowledgment of that last comment. "I ran away. That's what you think of my situation with Karofsky? It got out of hand but I'm a coward so I ran away instead of dealing with it?"
"Kurt, I didn't call you a coward. And wait, that's not what I meant."
"What did you mean then, Finn? Generally when someone makes a statement like that is isn't for shits and giggles. I think deep down that's exactly what you meant. And while I don't really appreciate what you said, I do appreciate the fact that you were finally honest with me. It's taken months but good for you for acknowledging your feelings and expressing them vocally to the person who caused them. Anything else you want to get off your chest before the big game?" The question was spoken with a quivering voice, as a single tear slipped down Kurt's cheek.
"I am not trying to hurt you here, Kurt." Kurt and Finn looked at each other. Kurt gestured with his hands, as if to say "that's all you've got?" Finn shrugged. Kurt let out and exasperated groan and Finn glared at him. "What do you want me to say? I can't read your mind and when you do choose to express yourself, your sarcasm doesn't help much. Why don't you just be totally honest and tell me what's bothering you so much that you're flipping out on me like this? I'm all ears, Kurt. This may be the only opportunity of this nature that you get so I'd take advantage of it if I was you."
"I want to know why you won't talk to me anymore. At all. You don't ask about my day, you don't tell me about yours. I had to find out through Rachel crying over the phone that you two were over. I have to get gLee updates from whoever answers their phone after eight on a weeknight because for some reason you don't even like talking about that anymore. Sam gives me the occasional Titans update and frankly: even though they all do a great job and seem to enjoy talking to me, I would really prefer if it all came from you. I feel like you just woke up one day and decided that because I was gone from school bing bang boom: I'm cut out of your life. Why, Finn? Just...why."
Finn stared at Kurt. He had no idea that Kurt felt this way. He opened his mouth to try and explain himself but couldn't find the words. He simply closed his mouth back up and stared at the floor. How could all this time have passed and all these things were happening and I just "didn't notice?" Am I really that wrapped up in everything that's going on with Rachel and Quinn and football that I cut Kurt out of my life intentionally? "You're probably not going to believe this," Finn said quietly, his head still aimed at the floor, "but I did not cut you out on purpose. I've had a lot on my plate and I've been a little muddled up lately. I wasn't trying to hurt you. Since I did hurt you, I want to apologize. At the end of the day, we're still brothers, friends, and that means a lot to me." Finn looked up and Kurt stared at him. "Was the apology not good enough for you?"
Kurt glared at Finn. "There you go getting angry at me again for no apparent reason. I really can't look at you without you flipping out and thinking I have some ulterior motive? That's kindof pathetic Finn."
"You want the truth? Here's the thing I have been keeping from you and when I tell you, you should understand why I didn't want to talk about it with you. I think the whole Karofsky situation sucked, I do. What sucked more was the fact that – and these are your words, not mine – you did run away. We all had your back. Every single person, every single friend of yours in gLee club had your back. We were prepared to do whatever we could to make sure that Karofsky would leave you alone once and for all, yet when we told you that, you pretty much threw it right back in our faces. You wanted someone on your side and there we all were, ready and waiting, for what? Oh right, for you to "politely" turn us down so you could go into hiding. Nice Kurt, real nice."
His eyes went wide. "How dare you Finn. How can you say things like that? Do you have any idea what I went through for all those months before you and the rest of the gLee club decided to take up my cause? You have no CLUE! They tormented me, Finn. Physically, psychologically, emotionally...the works. School was an absolute nightmare. You really think Karofsky mocking us for dancing was the worst of it? I hesitated to tell you and dad that Karofsky had been harassing me really badly for a few weeks. When I admitted that Karofsky threatened to kill me, I left out a few other crucial details. Don't bother asking for them now; I don't want you getting suspended over nothing. I want you to understand that just because you clued in when it started getting bad doesn't mean you knew the whole story. You thought you were being all heroic by defending me and singing songs to me. Guess what? What you did just now, saying I ran away from my problems? You just undid all the good you had done previously."
Once again, Finn was speechless. "Kurt...what was the point of keeping all of this a secret? What kind of benefit was it for you to become a petrified shell and have to leave your friends behind because of a jerk like Karofsky? We could have helped you, you know."
"I think you'd like to think you could have helped me. The reality, Finn, is that the only thing that could have helped me would have been for Karofsky to kill me or for him to be permanently expelled and for an eternal, impenetrable restraining order to be put in place as well. That's it. You couldn't out-muscle him, you couldn't intimidate him. Even Sue suspending him lasted maybe a week. You can't know what it's like until you've lived it, but when I got the news that he would be coming back to school, I feared for my life. I actually felt completely unsafe in one of the places that would usually make me feel perfectly protected. The second he got back, I knew he would do everything in his power to torture me until graduation. So while you see it as running away or however you see it, I see it as me looking out for me and trying to stay alive." Kurt paused to see if Finn had anything to say. The look of hurt, confusion said more than any words could have.
"Did you tell anyone else anything you just told me?" asked Finn finally after a long period of silence.
"No. Not even Mercedes. I didn't want anyone to overreact and do anything stupid."
"But Kurt you just said no one did anything to protect you. We took what little information you did give us and tried to protect you, and now you're contradicting yourself by saying that: even though you weren't totally honest with anyone, we didn't try to do anything to help you. You have to stick to one story. We may not have taken notice initially, but when we did, we didn't sit back and do nothing. You have to admit that."
"Ok what is this "we" business? Did you fail to mention to anyone that you have multiple personality disorder or something?" Kurt mused.
"No. When I say "we" I'm talking about our class. Your classmates and our friends. As a group, we tried to do something. I'm sorry if it wasn't good enough but if you don't speak up, how can anything be fixed?" Finn asked.
Kurt sighed. "I guess I just wanted you all to know that I needed defence without me having to say anything."
"Well now that you have said something...what can we do for you Kurt?" asked Finn.
End chapter. It's a one-shot unless someone really likes it and wants me to continue.