Monster Ball
By Silver Elf Child
Disclaimer: Disney owns them, I own the Sharks. Becks owns the Devils. All other NHL teams are still up for grabs.
A/N: Trick or treat, smell my feet, wait better not. I just got back from hockey practice. Concussions are my friends. Really they are. Elwenildo was supposed to have written this story last year. We came up with the idea on Halloween last year, but she never got around to writing it. So her punishment was to have me write it. Sorry, you have to be punished to.
"Please, Duke."
"No."
"Please."
"I said no, Nosedive."
"Oh come on it'll be fun. Tanya and Grin are going."
"No, Nosedive."
"Fine then, don't go. But I guess I'll just have to tell Wildwing that you took me to that strip club."
"I did not take you there! You followed me!"
"Well Wildwing will still be mad that you let me stay."
"I told you to go home."
"You did?" Dive played dumb. (Not very hard huh?)
"Nosedive, I'm warning you"
"Hey guys," Wildwing greeted, entering the room.
"Hiya, Wing, guess what."
Duke jumped up and indelicately took Dive by the arm "I'll go, happy," he said with clenched teeth.
Wildwing, confused by Duke's harsh treatment of his brother opened his beak, but Nosedive spoke first. "Great!"
"What's going on?" Wildwing asked, not impressed with his brother's sudden cheerfulness.
"Duke just said that he'd come to this Halloween party we're going to. Wanna come?"
"We? Whose we?"
"The team."
"I don't think so, Dive. I'm not one for parties."
"Yeah right! You and Canard were party animals."
"That was a long time ago, Dive and I gave that up."
"Come on, Wing," Dive begged.
"No, Nosedive."
"Fine, stay here by yourself."
"What about Mal?" Duke asked.
"What about her?"
"You said Tanya and Grin were going. What about Mal?"
"I haven't asked her yet."
"Looks like I'll be having company," Wing smirked.
Dive frowned and ran off to find his last target. As Wildwing predicted the red head declined Nosedive's request.
The day of the party came and Nosedive gave one last attempt to drag Wildwing along to the party.
"Please, Wildwing."
"No."
"What if something happens to me?"
"Are you that worried, Dive, then don't go."
"Of course I'm going, but wouldn't you feel awful if something bad happened and you weren't there to protect me?"
"I'm sure Grin will keep you safe," Wing smiled and patted Dive's cheek.
"Not the answer I was looking for."
"Come on Baby Bro, what could happen at a Halloween party?"
"Lots of things, spiked punch, dirty dancing, sex"
"That's enough!"
"So you're going to come?"
"No, you're not going."
"Wildwing" Nosedive whined.
"I don't think it's a good idea if you are exposed to things like that."
"If you are there I can't be exposed to much, right?"
"No, Nosedive."
"You tell him, Wing," Mallory said form where she was seated. Nosedive noticed her presence for the first time.
"Fine, stay home. Hand out candy to little kids with a distempered old witch. You can be your usual boring self. I'm sure you can scare a few kids with that costume, I know Mal will scare them with hers." With that said, Nosedive left.
"I'm not boring, am I, Mal?"
"Well"
"You think I am?"
"You never go out. You never take off the mask and you never seem to lighten up."
"I'll have you know that I use to party with the best of them."
"Sure, Wing. Keep telling yourself that."
"I would always get in trouble at school for pulling pranks and having a smart mouth."
"So that's where Nosedive gets it from."
"Actually we got it from our dad."
"When did you become the sensible one?"
"After the invasion. You can't talk smack to a Saurian, Mal, otherwise you die."
"You talk smack to Dragaunus."
"I'm not in one of his prison camps either."
"Your too sensible, Wildwing, I can't see you lightening up any time soon," Mal joked.
"Oh Yeah!" Wildwing exploded. "I'll prove you wrong. I will go tonight and I will be the life of the party!"
Mallory laughed at Wildwing's retreating back, "yeah right, Wing. You party? Your more likely to make an ass of yourself then anything else this I've got to see." Mal jumped up and ran out of the room to find a costume.
***
Nosedive waited impatiently beside the Migrator for everyone to show up. The ducks finally showed and they filed into the vehicle to leave.
"Wait!"
Dive opened the door and let Mallory in.
"What?"
"I'm coming."
"I thought you said Halloween was for immature goof balls?"
"It is, but I don't want to be stuck here by myself handing out candy to snot nosed little brats all night."
"Um, isn't Wing staying?"
"He said he was coming."
"Cool, sorry guys we have to wait for Wing."
"Dive, what are you wearing?" Mallory asked after taking a really good look at Dive.
"My costume."
"I mean, what's that on your face?'
"It's the mask, I'm Drake Ducaine."
"That's not the mask."
"I know, it's tinfoil. Wing wouldn't let me borrow the real one."
"You look like a dork."
"Yeah, well, look at you, miss black and white beehive head!"
"I'm the bride of Frankenstein you idiot!"
"Now, now, Mal, there's no need in name calling," Duke said softly.
"He started it."
"Duke, what is your costume?" Tanya asked trying to change the conversation.
"I'm the Phantom of the Opera."
Nosedive covered his ears and started to scream. "NOOOO NOT THE OPERA!"
"Nosedive please don't yell," Tanya entreated.
"Why, Tinker Bell?"
"I'm a princess not some imaginary creature that flies around with a boy in green tights."
"So you say."
"Little friend, we have not insulted your creation do not degrade ours."
"Sorry, Grin."
"What are you?" Mallory asked the large mallard.
"I am Bernie the Bear."
"I helped him with his costume," Dive beamed proudly.
"I could tell," Mal remarked sickly.
"Phew, made it."
"Hey Wing. bout time you showed up. What are you?"
"I'm Frankenstein."
"Nice bolts," Mal snickered as she flicked at the one on the left side of his neck.
"They were half off."
"You two planned this?" Nosedive accused.
"Planned what?"
"Matching costumes."
"This was the only thing the costume store had left."
"Yes you did, your Franken what's a whose it and she's your wife," Dive pointed at Mallory. "EWW Wing!"
"What now?"
"Please don't tell me that you're going to marry Mal. I don't want her as my sister in law."
"Who'd want you as their brother in law?"
"This is real run, but can we go now?" Duke asked from the driver's seat.
***
The ducks arrived at the party, which was held in an authentic looking spooky house. It was run down, dark and full of cobwebs. As a matter of fact it contained a cemetery in the backyard.
"Spooky, huh?" Dive laughed.
"Shut up, Dweeb Ducaine."
"That hurts, Mal, that really hurts," Dive said in a mock hurt tone.
The houses' interior was well furnished and decorated extensively for a Halloween party. The ducks mingled with other partygoers and had a great time.
Dive stood at the punch bowl, which had a metal spike sticking out. "Huh, spiked punch," he laughed.
"Adds flavor," commented Wolf Man'.
"Sure, so when are they going to do the costume contest?"
"Costume contest? What costume contest?"
"You know, the contest they give awards out for best costume and the likes."
"No. Do you know anything about a costume contest?" Wolf Man' asked The Mummy'.
The Mummy' replied "mmm, mmm mmmph."
"That's what I thought."
"What did he say?"
"He's all tied up and that he doesn't know anything about a costume contest."
"Strange."
"He is all tied up."
"No, I mean no costume contest. Thrash and Mook said that all Halloween parties have costume contests."
Dive left to contemplate the phenomenon. This was weird. As he walked around the party he noticed a trend in costumes. Freddy, Jason, Ax murderers, Monsters of every shape and size. This was too freaky. What about the funny, strange, most outrageous and original costumes? Everyone was doing scary costumes. By now Dive's nerves were a little rattled. He needed to find Wildwing; maybe his older brother would be able to calm his nerves with his mere presence.
As Dive walked from room to room he felt strange eyes watching him. The other guests seemed to be engaged with other things and his presence was miniscule. Even so, he couldn't shake the feeling that he was being followed. Dive shrugged and walked on. The head of the gargoyle on the stair banister turned and watched Nosedive leave the room. In the next room Dive felt the same ominous presence watching him. "This is too weird. I wonder if Wing will think it strange if I ask to go home?" The portrait of a Victorian lady hung above the mantle watched Nosedive as he crossed the room and into the hall.
Dive finally found Wildwing and he gave a sigh of relief. "Hey, Wing."
"Hi, Dive."
"Um what's the haps?" Dive tried to act cool.
"Your brother is making an ass of himself," Mallory laughed.
"So what's new?"
"I slipped."
"And did a spectacular face plant, are you sure your parents named you correctly?" (Thank you, Thank you no applause please)
"Whatever Mal, I'm ready to go whenever you are man." Nosedive patted Wildwing's shoulder.
"What and miss all the fun?" Wildwing teased.
"Well, if you got hurt, I don't mind going. I mean I don't want to hear you crying about a headache later tonight," Dive stumbled over his words.
"I don't cry, Nosedive."
"Wildwing, wait, look at him," Mallory said, completely serious.
"Yeah, so. It's Dive."
"He's spooked."
"Am not."
"Your scared about something," Mal accused.
"No I'm not."
"What's wrong, Dive?" Wing asked, concern pushing past the green face paint.
"Nothing. But did you notice that everyone is wearing monster costumes?"
Wildwing looked around. Dracula was doing the hand jive on the dance floor as the dead band the Coffin Bangers' played Monster Mash' on stage. The Creature from the Black Lagoon' was talking with the Loch Ness Monster in the corner as The Mummy' was rewrapping his bandages. Wolf Man' was scratching fleas and the Purple People Eater played his horn for a solo on stage.
"Uh, Dive, whose party is this anyway?"
"Phil told me about it. He got some email inviting us."
"Phil! That explains it. Lets get the others and get out of here."
Wildwing, Mallory, and Nosedive found Tanya locked in conversation with the Bride of Frankenstein' and Duke was talking to her husband Franky'. Their teammates awkward behavior and adamant insistence on leaving the party early mystified the two.
"Wing, it's only eleven thirty," Duke protested.
"That late?" Wing feined ignorance. "It's well past Dive's bed time, guess we had better rush him home then."
"Darn!" Dive snapped his fingers. "Hey did anyone know where Grin went?"
"He went outside to the Migrator. Said something about bad auras," Duke shrugged.
"Good, let's go," Wildwing ordered.
The ducks left, post haste, without saying goodbye to their host, a seven foot troll with green ooze dripping from his nose and fangs.
"Where are they going in such a hurry?" The Easter Bunny asked.
"Don't know?" Ronald McDonald shrugged and sipped on his maggot martini.
"It is inconsequential. It is time for the costume contest," Dracula said in his Pennsylvanian accent.
The guest of the Monster Ball quickly went to their bags and pulled out their masks and or costumes. The outfits to be judged included: George W. Bush, a fish, the ghost of sleepy hollow, a black cat (MAGIC!), ghosts, a congressman, rent a cop, shoe salesman, waitress, a sexy pirate, an insurance salesman, a beheaded victim of the reign of terror, a clown, a transformer, the tooth fairy, Fred Flintstone, Governor Arnold, Al Gore, Gray Davis, Wildwing, a baby, a purple dinosaur (who let Megatron in the building?), and a ghost buster.
Dracula took the stage. "And the winner of this year's Monster Ball costume contest goes to the most terrifying of all costumes."
The guests crossed their fingers, fins, paws, and whiskers hoping that they would be the winner.
"WILDWING, the goal tender and captain of the Mighty Ducks!"
*No fair* thought Magic. *My costume was way scarier, besides mines real!*
The recipient (Wolf Man) walked up onto the stage acting like a movie star at an award ceremony. "You like me, you really like me."
"Speech! Speech!"
*Not if he's anything like the real Wildwing, he'll talk you to death* thought Magic.
"Thank you for this great achievement. I knew one year I'd finally get this."
"We only did it this year because he cried last year," Dracula said under his breath to the head of the band.
Wolf Man glared at him then continued. "Thank goodness that other guy left. His costume was soooo much better then mine even if it didn't look exactly like Wildwing."
"Eh, he was a mortal, he couldn't have won anyway," Dracula whispered in his ear.
*I still think I should have won,* Magic complained. *Next year I'm going as a ninja.*
So how was your treat, or should I say trick? Lame, I know, but I wrote this in one day with a concussion. I must be reverting back to my old ways. Now if you want to know the entire joke about the face plant I did that in hockey class, got a 9.2 on the fall and the concussion. No I will not perform an instant replay. That is unless I get enough bids. Do I hear 100? *Looks around for bids* Have a happy and safe Halloween and don't let the spirits get you.