Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma, Ranma's angst, or any of the many other
characters from this series (or their angst).
Warning: This fic contains yaoi. If you don't like yaoi, don't read this. It's that simple.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Crimson Rain*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Here I sit again, away from prying eyes and jeering tongues, safe from all the cruel comments and stares that I put up with daily with no place of refuge from the reminding voices in my head. Far above, from deep within the ominous black clouds hanging above the district, large fat raindrops begin to fall, splashing down on my cheeks where the tears I cannot cry should be. I pretend they don't get to me, responding with only a laugh of a fist, but after those long hours of sparring with my true self are over, I find myself here on the roof again, pleading to the night for escape; because the truth is, the insults really do hurt.
I can still remember the first time oyaji and I settled down so I could attend school. I walked into the pristine building of knowledge, five years old and on top of the world, but found myself picked to pieces by their harsh, condescending words, a victim of the only attacks my training hadn't taught me to defend against. I ran home crying everyday, begging oyaji to train me to block out the words, believing martial arts could solve anything; too naïve to see that the constant one on one contact with a single solitary entity was what was keeping me from strengthening my people skills. I tried friends, fighting, even indifference, but nothing drove the words away; so we left.
The jeers still cut deeper than any sword, hurt ten times worse than any injury I've ever had. I supposed my pain is what makes me value pride so much, whether it be mine or that of an opponent, because if my pride were to be broken, I know I would shatter inside as well, and be left as nothing but a walking husk.
The voices rise in my head again, each insult louder than the one before it. I clamp my hands to my ears, trying to shut their cries out, even though I know I can't. I'm not a baka, I'm not a cross dresser, I'm not ungrateful, a casanova, hell, I didn't even want one fiancée! I honestly wouldn't mind shoving them all jump off a cliff if it would save me from having to tell them that I don't like any of them like that, and then have to endure the harsh tongue lashing that I know would follow.
I'm not insensitive, a brat, a hentai, rude, and least of all crude. Why isn't there anyone who can accept me for the person I am? Sure, I'm not perfect, and I'm not pompous enough to go and try and convince everyone I am. But no one, especially not that baka violent onna Akane, is perfect, so how can they possibly expect me to be?!
Unexpectedly, I feel a pair of warm comforting arms wrap around my shoulders, pulling me closer to a soothing voice that is whispering "Oh, my Ranma.is it them again?"
I nod numbly, aware that I had at some point turned to bury my head into my savior's chest, sighing in relief as large round tears begin to line my cheeks. It is as if the emotional dam within me has temporarily shattered at the realization that someone actually cares. I cling to the now thoroughly soaked shirt of my one and only light left in a closed world that has long forgotten that I am still just a child, a novice in social skills while being a master of martial arts.
It seems like we've been lying here tangled together for hours, me sobbing out all of my sorrow and frustration, my koi running comforting fingers along my back and through the loose yet tangled hair on the top of my head. But still the echoing voices berating my battered skull won't leave, and I pull away, eyes staring at nothing, yet taking in everything. I see the roof of the dojo, blown apart and in great need of repair after the last attempt on my life; I see a light on in the faraway kitchen.I see my koi's face, twisting in emotional pain and frustration at the knowledge that his voice is one of many circulating through my brain.
'.baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka.!'
"Iie!" I hear someone cry, and am surprised to find it's my own voice breaking the relative silence of the rainy night. "I'm not! I.I just want.a-and why.why can't you leave me alone?!" I turn to run off the roof, and find my arm caught in the grip of my hikari. I struggle, naturally, but I am too weak from the day's events while my koi is still as strong as ever.
Numbly, I wonder how long it takes for Xian Pu's anti-curse soap to lose it's effectiveness, not wanting yet another fiasco to deal with at the moment. Suddenly, my koi pulls me close and wraps his lips around mine, the same scent of lavender soap fresh on his pink skin. Despite my dominant demeanor, I can't help the low moan that escapes my guard as he nibbles at my bottom lip, the sound forming a single, heartfelt word.
"Ryouga."
I feel him smile against my lips as he mutters, "Are they gone now, koibito?"
My eyes fly open as I suddenly realize that the only voice inside my head is indeed my own.
"Koishiteru," I murmur, deepening the kiss and suckling on his lip as if my life depends on it. I know that tomorrow will only bring new pain, and that eventually my joining with Ryouga will cost me my home, family, and practice. But I also know that as long as my hikari is here to watch and guide me, those harsh words will never again hurt me.
Warning: This fic contains yaoi. If you don't like yaoi, don't read this. It's that simple.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Crimson Rain*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Here I sit again, away from prying eyes and jeering tongues, safe from all the cruel comments and stares that I put up with daily with no place of refuge from the reminding voices in my head. Far above, from deep within the ominous black clouds hanging above the district, large fat raindrops begin to fall, splashing down on my cheeks where the tears I cannot cry should be. I pretend they don't get to me, responding with only a laugh of a fist, but after those long hours of sparring with my true self are over, I find myself here on the roof again, pleading to the night for escape; because the truth is, the insults really do hurt.
I can still remember the first time oyaji and I settled down so I could attend school. I walked into the pristine building of knowledge, five years old and on top of the world, but found myself picked to pieces by their harsh, condescending words, a victim of the only attacks my training hadn't taught me to defend against. I ran home crying everyday, begging oyaji to train me to block out the words, believing martial arts could solve anything; too naïve to see that the constant one on one contact with a single solitary entity was what was keeping me from strengthening my people skills. I tried friends, fighting, even indifference, but nothing drove the words away; so we left.
The jeers still cut deeper than any sword, hurt ten times worse than any injury I've ever had. I supposed my pain is what makes me value pride so much, whether it be mine or that of an opponent, because if my pride were to be broken, I know I would shatter inside as well, and be left as nothing but a walking husk.
The voices rise in my head again, each insult louder than the one before it. I clamp my hands to my ears, trying to shut their cries out, even though I know I can't. I'm not a baka, I'm not a cross dresser, I'm not ungrateful, a casanova, hell, I didn't even want one fiancée! I honestly wouldn't mind shoving them all jump off a cliff if it would save me from having to tell them that I don't like any of them like that, and then have to endure the harsh tongue lashing that I know would follow.
I'm not insensitive, a brat, a hentai, rude, and least of all crude. Why isn't there anyone who can accept me for the person I am? Sure, I'm not perfect, and I'm not pompous enough to go and try and convince everyone I am. But no one, especially not that baka violent onna Akane, is perfect, so how can they possibly expect me to be?!
Unexpectedly, I feel a pair of warm comforting arms wrap around my shoulders, pulling me closer to a soothing voice that is whispering "Oh, my Ranma.is it them again?"
I nod numbly, aware that I had at some point turned to bury my head into my savior's chest, sighing in relief as large round tears begin to line my cheeks. It is as if the emotional dam within me has temporarily shattered at the realization that someone actually cares. I cling to the now thoroughly soaked shirt of my one and only light left in a closed world that has long forgotten that I am still just a child, a novice in social skills while being a master of martial arts.
It seems like we've been lying here tangled together for hours, me sobbing out all of my sorrow and frustration, my koi running comforting fingers along my back and through the loose yet tangled hair on the top of my head. But still the echoing voices berating my battered skull won't leave, and I pull away, eyes staring at nothing, yet taking in everything. I see the roof of the dojo, blown apart and in great need of repair after the last attempt on my life; I see a light on in the faraway kitchen.I see my koi's face, twisting in emotional pain and frustration at the knowledge that his voice is one of many circulating through my brain.
'.baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka baka.!'
"Iie!" I hear someone cry, and am surprised to find it's my own voice breaking the relative silence of the rainy night. "I'm not! I.I just want.a-and why.why can't you leave me alone?!" I turn to run off the roof, and find my arm caught in the grip of my hikari. I struggle, naturally, but I am too weak from the day's events while my koi is still as strong as ever.
Numbly, I wonder how long it takes for Xian Pu's anti-curse soap to lose it's effectiveness, not wanting yet another fiasco to deal with at the moment. Suddenly, my koi pulls me close and wraps his lips around mine, the same scent of lavender soap fresh on his pink skin. Despite my dominant demeanor, I can't help the low moan that escapes my guard as he nibbles at my bottom lip, the sound forming a single, heartfelt word.
"Ryouga."
I feel him smile against my lips as he mutters, "Are they gone now, koibito?"
My eyes fly open as I suddenly realize that the only voice inside my head is indeed my own.
"Koishiteru," I murmur, deepening the kiss and suckling on his lip as if my life depends on it. I know that tomorrow will only bring new pain, and that eventually my joining with Ryouga will cost me my home, family, and practice. But I also know that as long as my hikari is here to watch and guide me, those harsh words will never again hurt me.