Confessions of Yuffie Kisaragi: A Final Fantasy VII Novelisation
Confessions of Yuffie Kisaragi: A Final Fantasy VII Novelisation
If you've heard of Georgia Nicholson, you'll be able to figure this one out. Final Fantasy VII done from Yuffie's P.O.V. in the style of Louise Rennison. I found one like this, but I can't find it ANYWHERE now. Hello to you if you wrote that! And thanks for giving me the idea! Lol.
This chapter is just a default, by the way. And I wrote it listening to the music of ff7 too. How sad am I? Beware – I don't have the books in front of me. I only have my bestie's fanficitons Gird Your Nungas and Prepare for Battle! and Vegetables, Roller-skating and Dave the Laugh. Beware crappiness. I'm getting it read, though, so you have been warned!
A capparwire is a weird enemy thing you find in the Junon area. It looks like a brown mouth with brown legs and two green ivy things coming out the top. Its weird but fitted for the area and as a substitute for a badger.
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 7, its character, locations, affiliates or music, nor do I own Georgia Nicholson. They are the properties of Square Enix and Louise Rennison respectively.
Nunga-nunga Attack!
Thursday August 12th
9:05am
This has got to be the height of boredomosity.
1 minute later
Still boring.
30 seconds later
I may die of boredomosity soon. Who knew taking down a tent would be this boring? Though, it's easier to take down than up.
Ten minutes later
Sure beats listening to my dear Vati Godo though. Whining on and on and on about his castle. He is the height of selfishnosity.
1 minute later
Aha! The tent is down! I threw a tonberry at it.
30 seconds later
Maybe that wasn't a good idea.
15 minutes later
The red-faced loon look is so fetching in the elderly mad and the jelloid people with fat coming out of their shoes and a hundred chins. Erlack, I creeped myself out. I, however, do not like sporting this look.
9:43am
I have found camp again.
1 minute later
Phew. My materia's safe. Nyuk nyuk nyuk. I wouldn't be the Great Ninja Yuffie if I didn't have my materia. Well, I would, but materia makes me me, if you know what I mean and I think you do.
30 seconds later
Bloody capparwire hole!
2 minute later
I may have broken my bottom.
5 minutes later
And now a chocobo's licking my hair.
7 minutes later
Ooh, people alert! People alert!
I said, "Shoo, chocobo! Go away!"
But it didn't listen to me. I may have to follow them. Just to see if they have materia. Because if they do, I will have to steal it. Such is the way of life. For the greater good and all.
4 minutes later
The tent wouldn't go into its stupid bag thing, but I managed to make a really cool bundle thing in about three minutes flat.
14 minutes later
He has got the BIGGEST hair known to mankind. And that's saying something. Stupid blond jerk. He's kind of groovy-looking actually. All yellow and silver and a cool puply-black colour. He is coolinosity personified.
30 seconds later
Oooh, materia… Erlack, I've just drooled all over my vest. Ho hum, pig's bum, it was dirty anyway.
6 minutes later
Again with the bloody Capparwire holes! I have landed on my face in the mud right in front of them. And I still look like a red-faced loon on loon tablets with drool on my vest.
The brunette on the guy's right bent over to help me up. Aaaaah, nunga-nunga attack! I rolled away and got to my feet, only to fall over again. That'll teach me to act fancy.
The nunga-nunga woman said, "Are you all right?"
I said, "Peachy. I'm gunna fight you!"
They laughed. How dare they? At me! They were laughing at me!
I said that. I said, "How dare you laugh at me?"
The fabby-looking blond tipped his head to one side like a confused puppy and said, "You want to fight us?"
I nodded like a nodding thing and scrambled to my feet again. Ouch, ouch, bugger, bugger, ouch, bugger, owwww… my bottom is definitely broken. "You gunna hit me or what?"
A small half-smile pulled his lips up. It was vair vair fabby, I have to say. So much so I nearly lost my concentration when he came at me with a really big sword. I wonder if he's compen-watsit for something. Nyuknyuknyuknyukynyuknyuknyuk… Shutupshutupshutup!
Half an hour later
I am so embarrassed. I have lost at the hands of someone with nunga-nungas big enough for both of us. Not to mention being beaten by a cat. Ack, I feel betrayed. I glared at my Conformer. My losing was its fault, I tell you. It's all my shuriken's fault! If they turn away from me, I'm going to steal some of their money. And materia. Mainly materia. Mwahahahahahaha.
30 seconds later
I may have to live in a Loony Bin if I keep up this evil-laughy-hand-rubby-thing much longer.
1 minute later
The fabby blond guy came over to me and looked down his nose at me. Not in a I'm-better-than-you way, in a you're-below-me-on-ground-so-I-have-to kind of way. If you know what I mean and I think you do.
I said, "You spikey headed jerk! One more time, let's go one more time."
He paused, looked at the nunga-nunga woman and then said, "not interested."
Not interested? Not interested?! Egad, he's horrible.
I said, on a spur of the moment inner-laughing-spaz, "you're pretty scared of me, huh?"
He didn't look scared, even though he said, "…Petrified."
Well, I'm not standing for that. I got to my feet and walked off. When I didn't hear them following, I turned and said, "I'm really gonna leave. REALLY!"
Mr. Petrified said, "Wait a second."
Heh heh. I said, with all sincerity, "You want me to go with you?"
He said, "that's right."
I grinned, my nose spreading all over my face. I hate my dad. He gave me a big conk. "All right! I'll go with you."
He said, "let's hurry on."
And then left the clearing with the nunga-nunga woman and the kittykat right behind him like little lapdogs. Hahahah, the kittykat's a poodle!
30 seconds later
I might want to follow them.
-X-
I know it's not perfect Georgiaisms, but bear with me.