Rated: M
Warning(s): Slash, etc.
As You Die In My Arms
I'm certain that there have been several fellows in the 4.6 billion years' worth of earth's history that have desired immortality. Hell, a few were even so bold as to try and obtain it. Well, I'm here to tell you now that immortality isn't all that it's cut out to be. When you're a one of a kind, should-be-dead anomaly, you tend to get lonely. And, though they might try, another human could never fill that void. Humans will eventually die. It was a sad truth.
I had shown Rose the sad fate of earth, had showed her the slow expansion of the sun that would extinguish the planet in a mere half-hour. Desperately, she had watched her home planet as it was destroyed, reminiscing about how her mother would have died so long ago – how she would have died so long ago. All of that history was destroyed. Even the last human was gone. Nothing had remained. And we were there to watch it burn.
It was in that moment that I was confronted with Rose's fragility, her sheer humanity, and I was at a wonder for how I could not see it before. Rose would eventually die; there was nothing I could do to change that. But then, I discovered him. The Master. He had regenerated since I had last seen him, and the pounding of the drums had turned his brain and hardened his heart into a cold slab of stone, but it was still the Master. It was still him.
And then, in a flash, it was all over. The crack of the bullet tearing the air in half was more than I could bear, more unsettling than any war cry that I had heard in my expansive travels – and I had heard quite a few in the fall of Troy. My arms were around him in an instant, and he fell against me easily. Too easily. Blood soaked through his suit jacket and stained my arms, but I didn't care. He would be fine. He had to be fine. He had to be.
"Always the women." He choked out blandly. There it was, the sense of humor that was drier than an aged piece of wood. Blood frothed on his pretty lips, and try as I may, I was unable to look away.
"I didn't see her." I would have stopped her if I had seen her. I wouldn't have let her shoot him.
The Master scoffed. Even dying, he tried to seem dignified and mighty. "Dying in your arms. Happy now?"
"You're not dying. Don't be stupid." I told him firmly. His eyes started to slide closed, but I wouldn't allow that. He couldn't die on me – not after everyone else had. "It's only a bullet." I assured. "Just regenerate."
He stared into my eyes, the light slowly dying in his own. "No."
I wouldn't settle for that answer. No, I couldn't settle for that answer. It just didn't make sense to me. How could he hate me so deeply now, when he had almost… he had come so close… to saying… "One little bullet. Come on."
"I guess you don't know me so well." He didn't know how deeply those words cut. Or maybe he did. Maybe that was his intention from the start. "I refuse."
I wanted to take him and shake him, shake some sense into him. But I refrained, simply because I couldn't bear the idea of hurting him more and I just didn't have the energy. Isn't it ironic that he was the one that was dying, but I'm the one with the withering life force? I could just feel myself become weaker as his eyes became heavier. Tears clung to my lashes. I was thankful that the others kept their distance. They didn't need to see me like this.
If the Master had been in his right mind, he would have laughed at my current state of despondency. He wasn't in his right mind, however. Far from it. With blood continuing to pour out onto my hands, I could see that it was becoming more and more difficult for him to remain conscious. I shook him once, but gently, just to make him wake up. His eyes fluttered and with a spluttering cough, he finally focused his eyes on me.
"Regenerate. Just regenerate. Please. Please!" I don't know what it was that possessed me to attempt to reason with a man that was already dead. "Just regenerate. Come on."
The Master mocked, "And spend the rest of my life imprisoned with you?"
I felt my body stiffen in disbelief. He considered it… imprisoned? I had done my best to care for him, to treat him with respect (when I could), to love him and never expect it in return… and that was called imprisonment? Early on in this partnership, I had convinced myself that it was okay if he never loved me. It was okay, because he was still with me, and that was better than him dying like everyone else.
But here he was, blood frothing on his chapped lips, coughing as the last of the energy left his body. As I stared into his lifeless eyes, I remembered all those who had died helping me, all those that had died accidentally… that man – Calvin, was his name? – had been more than accurate when he said that wherever I go, death is sure to follow. If I had only been paying more attention, I would have seen Lucy with the gun and…
I went right back in to my argument. I had to keep him awake. "You've got to. Come on. It can't end like this. You and me, all the things we've done. Axons. Remember the Axons? And the Daleks. We're the only two left. There's no one else. Regenerate!"
The Master only smirked, his eyes rolling back into his head. "How about that. I win." And then, softer now, "Will it stop, Doctor? The drumming. Will it stop?"
His eyes finally fell closed and his body fell slack in my arms. I could hear the drums, the drums that the Master had just mentioned. They rang loud and clear in my head, their incessant roar making it all-too-easy to see how the Master had fallen victim to them. I held the Master in my arms for a moment longer, ignoring the stares that burned holes into my back. Because as he died in my arms, I felt a little bit of myself die as well.
Disclaimer: Any and all publicly recognizable characters, events, settings, etc. are not mine, but instead, are the property of their respective owners. I do not own the dialogue between Master and Doctor. The transcript for the episode was taken from this website – who - transcripts . atspace (remove the spaces) under Last of the Time Lords - Doctor Who (2005+). The words are taken from the episode "Last of the Time Lords".
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