A/N: Might delete this later. Might not. I don't know. Depends on the reviews. In my opinion… this is rushed. I am so sorry. I just haven't had any time these last few weeks. I am working on a new DenNor book though. I will release it soon. And I promise I will give you a new chapter of Taken Hostage.
Just please enjoy this. I just didn't want it to seem like I dropped off the face of the earth. Also, review!
Thank you!
Burden
Yes, Norway loved Denmark. Though it may have seemed he hated the Dane with a passion, he really loved him with a passion. Norway felt comfortable with him more than any other person or country he had met. Matthias was his home, and Matthias was his love.
Though Lukas never told Matthias about his true feelings, Matthias could see right through his Norwegian's shield of no emotion. This was the only reason why Matthias had never given up on Lukas. For, he loved Lukas as much as he was loved by him.
Matthias tried hard for years to get his Norwegian to finally admit to everyone that he loved him. But after a long time of attempting, he came to realized that Lukas would never openly admit his love to someone unless that someone made the first move.
It had been a few days since the two 'complicated' friends had talked to each other. There was nothing odd about this because they really only saw each other two or three times a week. Norway was always so busy with government affairs, and so was Denmark.
They agreed to have dinner on Tuesday, Friday, and Saturday nights, so they wouldn't grow apart. They have kept this up for a year now, and it has become the usual thing for the two countries.
The day was a Friday, and it was Denmark's turn to cook at his place. He had decided to cook Lukas' favorite, and make a grilled salmon dish. He was a decent cook, and made sure to cook it just the way Lukas liked it. He added a hint of lemon flavoring on the salmon when he was done, and tried to put it on the plate as fancy as he could. Norway had to miss Tuesday night dinner because of work, so Denmark wanted to make this dinner extra special.
It was about six p.m. and Lukas was due to arrive any minute. Matthias decided to pass time by cleaning up a little bit, so Lukas would stop nagging him about picking up his messes.
When he was done cleaning up the main level that he and Lukas were going to be eating on, it was six thirty. Where was Lukas? He was supposed to be there thirty minutes ago.
Matthias picked up his phone and dialed Lukas' phone number. His phone rang to Lukas' phone a few times, but no one answer. He called and called about seven times, leaving voice mails, before deciding to give up. Had he forgotten? He would have answered his phone, at least…
Denmark decided to call Iceland, Norway's little brother. He lived with Norway, so he would probably know what was going on. The phone only rang a few times before Iceland answered with his usual nonchalant voice.
"Hello, Denmark?
"Hey Icey! You know you can call me Matthias instead of Denmark, right?"
"You know you can call me Emil instead of Icey, right?" he replied back, sarcastically.
"Ha! I guess that is fair. Hey, do you know what your brother is doing right now?"
"No."
"Oh, well. Do you know where he is?"
"No."
"Are you at your house?"
"No."
"Can you help me out here? I am worried about Norge, and I am not getting anywhere with yes or no answers to my questions," Denmark whined.
"Norge? And I am only giving an honest answer to all of your questions. You never asked me to explain. I am at Sweden and Finland's house right now. Norway sent me here about a week ago due to some government affairs he is dealing with. He said he will come get me when he is done."
"Oh, well have you heard anything from him?"
"No."
Denmark sighed, "Ah, well. Thank you. Tell Sweden, Finland, and Sealand that I said hi. If you hear anything from Norge, please call me, ok?"
"Ya."
"K, bye!"
Iceland hung up the phone on Denmark. Matthias set it down on the table, and thought for a moment. I guess Norgey is really busy with stuff within his government, and that is why he couldn't come. Must also be the reason why he didn't answer his phone! Well…. I'll check on him on Sunday if he doesn't make it to that dinner. In the meantime… Salmon!
Denmark picked up the plate of salmon that he prepared so nicely, and dove into it, leaving nothing for leftovers.
/Text Break/
'I'm hideous' Lukas thought to himself as he looked in the mirror.
He hadn't eaten in a week, and he was as pale as a ghost. He had dark circles under his eyes for not sleeping for over a week. His eyes were dull for lack of liquid, for he cried all of his tears out yesterday.
He tried to cry again tonight, but nothing would come out. He really was empty inside. His country was falling apart. He was the weakest of the Nordics. Denmark was the bravest, Sweden was the smartest, Finland was the strongest, Iceland was growing so fast and becoming so wise, but what was he?
He was a burden to them all. They could take over the world if it wasn't for him, little Norway, always tagging along. It was definitely a good idea to send Iceland off to good people who were brave and kind and smart. Things he never was, and never will be.
He loved Matthias, but he wasn't worthy of his feelings. That is why he must always hide them. He must constantly annoy Denmark with those dinner plans that they have three times a week. That is why he skipped them tonight. He was very sure that Matthias was much happier without him.
These feelings of being hated and being a burdened had been lasting for a month now, but had really just started to take affect two weeks ago. It started with not sleeping, then not eating, then he stopped talking to Sweden and Finland, then crying all night long, then he sent Iceland away, and now, lastly, he stopped speaking with Denmark.
He was cut off from the rest of the world, but this was for the best. This was for everyone else's happiness. He started to feel that they all hated him when he started to realize how bossy he was to Denmark, even when Denmark was so much better then him.
He was selfish, and only cared about himself. He never valued what Denmark wanted. He only wanted what he wanted. The next thing happened, where he was acting like that towards Iceland. One thing led to another, which caused Iceland to burst out the words, "I hate you! I don't need you!"
That was when he stopped sleeping. Finland came over the next day of the third night that he had not slept. Iceland was starting to talk to him again, but everything the little island said to him, didn't override the words that were spoken a few nights before.
Finland's reaction to seeing Norway was not what he hoped for. Finland meant well, but when he saw Norway's 'rough' condition, he said, "Norway, are you ok? You look terrible!" Norway didn't know what to do. He started to freak out. Was he hated by Finland too?
He ran up to his room, locking the door, ignoring the protests to let Finland in. Norway cried and cried because of how fast his walls were crumbling down. After a few nights of staying in his room, Norway was sure that Finland was gone. He went back down stairs again to see Iceland sitting on the couch, feeding his pigeon.
That was when he broke Iceland the news about his 'government problems' and he 'had to be alone'. Iceland left that night, leaving the Norwegian country to do whatever he needed to do to let out his frustration.
He screamed and screamed because he was finally alone, and no one could hear him. He let out his anger by yelling into the empty room all around him. He yelled about how he wasn't good enough. He screamed until his ears started to ring. He then collapsed, but didn't fall unconscious. He was still awake and still angry with himself. With his life.
He then remembered the day. Tuesday. Didn't he and Denmark have dinner today? He looked up at his clock, and it showed the time, six. He won't be late if he went now. But… what if Denmark saw him, and didn't like the way he looked, like Finland? This wouldn't do. He loved Denmark, and the last thing he wanted was for Denmark to see him like this.
He called Denmark, giving the same excuse as the one he gave Iceland. He was an excessive liar now, too? He couldn't get any worse now, could he? He tried to cut his conversation between Denmark and him as short as he could. He felt like he was on the brink of crying. When he was done, he threw his phone across the room, absent mindedly smashing it on the wall.
He got up, and grabbed a sword from one his shelves in the living room. He started to swing it at furniture. Denmark usually did this with his axe in the Viking days. If it made Denmark feel better than it should make him feel better right?
He lined up all of his finest china and wine glasses in a row. He threw one up in the air, and swung his sword at it, shattering it to the ground. A few glass shards landed on his face. They burned as they cut small engravings into his cheeks, but he didn't stop. He kept going and going until his face, neck, and shoulders were covered in blood.
He stabbed his sword down into the wooden floor next to him, and started to laugh. "I may be the weakest one, but I should still be given a chance!" This statement was supposed to be funny, but instead made him fall to his knees on the glass shards, and cry.
He took a glass shard, and looked at his reflection in it. He was a bloody mess that looked colder than winter. He looked like the opposite of love. What was that again… hatred? He was hatred. Everyone hated him. He was only a mere reflection of their feelings for them.
His blue eyes were stone cold, and showed so much pain, yet no one ever saw. Or did they, and they never cared? Tears started to come down his face, burning his cuts as they hit each and every one of them. There was worse to come than this.
Back to present, Norway was looking at his face, which hadn't been cleaned since the first incident. He still had dried blood on his face where the tears didn't wash it away. His eyes were filled with even more hatred, and his skin was turning an icy color.
His stomach was grumbling for food, but he wasn't going to eat. He had too much to do. He had to think of a way to make people not hate him. He tried being their friend, but he always failed at socializing. Maybe he should just hide away from the world until they start to wonder where he is. Then maybe they will care.
Lukas winced as he started to cry dryly because no tears were coming down his face. He looked up at his shameful self, and wanted to scream. Why was he so useless? He screamed, and punch the mirror as hard as he could. This resulted in a shattered mirror and a bloody fist.
Not being able to endear anymore pain, he collapsed to the floor on his side, (because it hurt too much to even bend his knees after the last incident) and cried. Why didn't anyone care? Why did everyone hate him?
He stayed in this position for a very long time; never falling asleep, just thinking. It felt like only hours, but he could have sworn he had seen the sun rise and fall once or twice in his position.
He might have gotten some sleep in that time, but he mainly occupied his time by playing with a shard of glass that fell from the mirror. He wrote words like 'brave', 'strong', 'smart', and 'loved' all over his chest and stomach.
The blood dripped down his abdomen, staining clothes, but he didn't care. He started to fade in and out of consciousness from lack of blood, but never truly fell unconscious. After sticking the mirror shard in a random place, because his hand hurt too much to hold it, he heard a knock on the door.
Was that Iceland? No… he wouldn't be worried this soon. Well… how soon was it? Had it been a week already? Or had it only been a few hours? Could it be Finland or Sweden he must have scared those two quite a bit. Or could it be Denmark?
Norway started to get up, to go answer the door, but a major pain in his stomach jolted him back down into his previous position. He looked down at his stomach to realize that he stuck the mirror shard into his stomach. It was barely stabbed in there, but it still hurt.
Lukas knew that he was not presentable to go answer the door for anyone at this point. He decided to wait for the person to leave by just waiting out in the bathroom. He grabbed the mirror shard tightly, and started to pull it out.
He winced every half millimeter he pulled it out. He was in so much pain, he didn't notice his front door open and close. He also didn't hear his name being called out by a familiar Dane. When he finally got the piece of glass out, he threw it to the wall next to him.
"You are so stupid, Lukas," he said to himself, pounding his hand against his forehead. Denmark called out for Lukas again downstairs. This time, Lukas heard it. He can't see me like this was all that went through his mind.
He crawled to the door and shut it quietly, locking it. He leaned against it, and prayed that Denmark would not find him. He just wanted to be alone. He didn't want to be a burden anymore.
/Text Break/
Denmark had checked all the rooms in the main level. Lukas was not in any of them, and he wasn't responding to his name. He was surprised with the way the house was. Usually Lukas was a very clean guy that hated messes, but here his house was, destroyed. The thing that worried Matthias the most though, was the sword stabbed in the floor with blood on it.
There were also blood covered glass shards everywhere, too. Matthias walked by them, and followed the blood trail up the stairs. The trail led to the bathroom in Lukas' room.
Outside the door, Matthias took a deep breath, and got ready for the worst. When he turned the knob, it was locked. "Lukas?" he called out. No answer. "Lukas I know you're in there," he said, a little bit louder just in case Lukas just couldn't hear him.
"What is going on?" he said, trying to get the Norwegian country to answer. He heard something in the bathroom move. It sounded like someone was resting their back against a wall.
"Ok, well I heard you, so at least you're alive. Please Norge, why won't you answer me?" he said. He started to hear crying on the other side of the door. "Norge, please tell me why you are crying," he said.
"Why do you care?" a weak voice responded, trying to be rude, but only sounded pitiful. "I care because you are my best friend," Matthias responded, happy that he was getting somewhere with the Norwegian.
"Best friend?"
"Yes. Didn't you know? I am not sure if I am your best friend, but you are definitely mine."
"Why?"
"Because you are the only person that stayed with me, and gave me a chance in my Viking days and after. Because you are awesome at magic, and you are so kind. I love your beautiful eyes that brighten up my day every time I see them. Your hair is cooler than mine will ever be. Trust me that is the biggest compliment I have ever given. Norge, I didn't want to be the first of the two of us to say this, but I love you."
"But all I have ever been is a burden to you guys."
"Who told you that? If anything, you have been the opposite. Remember the time when I wanted to go to war with Sweden and Finland because they left me?"
"I stopped you because I thought it wasn't right. You couldn't have them back because of me."
"No. I am now great friends with those two again, and that wouldn't have happened if I went to war with them. Now, remember when two of Iceland's volcanoes erupted, and he was close to death?"
"…Yes."
"Ya, well who saved him?"
Denmark leaned his forehead on the door, and said, "Norway, I know you may think that you are useless, and you're a burden, but I know that you aren't. You are the kindest, bravest, wisest, smartest, and most trustworthy person I know. Now please let me in."
"I can't do that."
"Why not?"
"I did… bad things. To myself."
"Norway, open this door right now. I don't care about that. I need to see you," Denmark said, more serious than ever before.
The door knob slowly turned as Norway was adjusting the lock. When it stopped rattling, Denmark took that as a sign that Norway was done unlocking the door. He opened the door, and walked inside to a physically and mentally hurt nation.
Lukas closed his eyes, ready for whatever comments that were going to come from Denmark. He knew he looked terrible. He knew Denmark wouldn't love him anymore. He knew he probably wouldn't be given a second chance after this. He knew he-.
Lukas gasped as he was surprised by a hug from Denmark. The taller nation wrapped his strong arms around Norway's shoulder. Lukas winced from the pain at first, but then started to enjoy his best friend's warmth.
"I love you so much," Denmark breathed into Norway's neck. Norway found his tears again, and released them, as he cried, "I love you too. I am so sorry."
Matthias swooped Norway up into a bridal position, and carried him out of the bathroom. He drove Norway to the hospital to avoid infection in the cuts. Norway was fine, but was still shaken up from a week of not sleeping and eating.
Denmark took Norway in to take care of him until he healed.
/Text Break/ Four weeks later/
"Hey Norge! Wake up!" Denmark said, as he brushed his hand through Norway's hair. "Don't call me Norge," Norway mumbled, as he swatted away Denmark's hand. "Awe, but aren't couples supposed to have nicknames?" Denmark asked.
"Ugh, I suppose. How does annoying Dane work for you?" Norway turned to the Dane, smiling. The said nation said, "I think Dane would be easier. So yay! Norge and Dane it is!" "Wonderful, now let me go back to sleep," Norway mumbled, turning the other way.
Matthias laughed at his boyfriend, and scooted over to spoon him. He wrapped his arms around the nation, and sang, "I love you!" "I love you too, idiot," Lukas said, putting his hand of the one Denmark had wrapped around him.
"You are special, you know that?" Denmark said, nuzzling his mouth into Norway's neck. "You tell me every day, Dane," Lukas said, closing his eyes. "Well, I just want to make sure that you never forget it. I love you, and I need you, ok?" Denmark said.
Norway smiled a little, "Same here."
A/N: UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG I am so sorry. This is my worst fanfic yet. Sorry it is so rushed. I am very very tired. For those who are waiting for the next chapter in Taken Hostage, please wait patiently. I am doing important things outside of fanfiction, and I just needed to take a two or three week break. I promise I will release the next chapter by next week though, ok?
Even though this was terrible, reviews are much appreciated. Thank you!
