Author's Notes: From all of the years I've been in the GW fandom, I have yet to find a really good Quatre centric story. Most of the stories dedicated to him don't always show him in a particularly good light. I find he suffers almost as much as Relena does actually… He's always being bashed, criticized, made fun of or just neglected/ignored because of one thing or another. With this story, it will basically talk about the bond/relationship he and Trowa share. I'm of the opinion that Quatre looks up to Trowa so much because he was desperate for someone to accept him for who he was. He never really had any close relationships outside of the one he had with Iria. So when he went to Earth, he met someone that was like him in the sense that they were both searching for themselves. They both needed a reason to live again. Of course I find their relationship to be adorable. I see the two of them as having the whole big brother/little brother relationship. So in case anyone is curious, I don't believe Quatre is in love with Trowa or vice versa. By the way, this story can be considered a companion piece to Logical Reasoning. You don't have to read that story first to understand this story. Both stories are capable of standing alone. A big thank you goes out to Pimp Masta Popo for beta reading this story. If you're looking for good stories, go check out some of her works! Finally, constructive criticisms are welcomed and thank you for reading my story. Happy reading!
This story is dedicated to my best friend. I wouldn't change you for anything in the world.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or anything else related to Gundam Wing. This story was only written for entertainment purposes.
There were some days where I wondered what had I done to deserve a friend like Trowa. Other times, however, I was at loss as to why he tolerated me. Over the years, I constantly forced myself into his life and yet he never complained or protested. He was always ready and willing to help me.
Never once did I ever have to worry about whether or not I could depend on Trowa. Whenever I felt as though I couldn't accomplish something or questioned myself and my abilities, he was always reassuring me.
Then again, I suppose I purposely sought him out because I needed something stable in my life. Between being a gundam pilot and the son of a prominent colony leader, I didn't exactly get to enjoy the perks of a normal life. When I came to Earth though, it was like I was starting over. I was reborn.
I wouldn't be constricted by what my family expected of me. I wouldn't have to pretend to be someone other than myself. More importantly, I would be able to validate and confirm my existence. While the Magunacs were the first people to really accept me, somehow I still didn't feel as though I belonged with them.
After all, they had been together for a very long time before I came along. It wasn't like my presence would be anything new to them. Their family had never been very organized but it was stable. It was something I couldn't help being drawn to. I couldn't help wondering just what was it that kept them together? Loyalty? Friendship? Trust? Surely there had to be something deeper than that that made them stay together.
They were all different and unique. No one Magunac was the same and it was extremely easy to tell them apart. Whether it was their clothing, the way they spoke, or even their mannerisms, I never had trouble telling any of them apart.
But once I left them to travel on my own, I started to feel lonely. I hadn't wanted to leave them but it was the only way to protect them. I couldn't risk having them put themselves in danger for my sake. I wouldn't have been able to bear that on my conscious. The thought of me risking their safety for friendship was intolerable to me.
Of course while I was being assaulted by various conflicting feelings of guilt, regret and loneliness, that's when I met him again. After our first meeting, we hadn't been planning on meeting for a second time. Though in hindsight, I think I was looking for him.
At that point in time, however, Trowa had been less than pleased to see me. It was almost as if he suspected I planned for us to run into each other that day. I didn't know we would be in the same location but I was happy that I'd have some company. He tried to spend the majority of that day ignoring me, but I wasn't about to leave him alone.
There was something about him that called out to me. Back then though I couldn't place it. I didn't understand what he meant to me. I just knew that I couldn't leave him alone. So after spending the better part of the day trying to convince him that we should work together, he finally joined me, albeit grudgingly.
For some reason, he was still reluctant to open up to me, though. Maybe he thought I couldn't be trusted. But I was determined to show him that he could depend on me. During our time as gundam pilots, I made sure that I listened to him, supported him and even encouraged him. Though there were hardly any times when he actually needed support or encouragement. That was one thing that irked me about Trowa.
He always kept everything bottled up inside. He had never meant anything to anyone.
"I do things my own way." He told me once.
"Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness, Trowa. It's just a sign of maturity when you can admit to yourself that you can't do something on your own." I had told him.
After I said that to him, he had smiled a little and told me that I had an interesting way of seeing things.
If there was one thing I admired about Trowa, however, it was his strength.
He was strong. But it was more of a quiet strength. And because of that, people seemed to instinctively trust him. Maybe it's because he was so rational and calm that made people go to him. Nothing ever fazed him or hindered him, so why not approach him for assistance. They probably thought he would be able to help them. It was as if they believed he was far more knowledgeable and wiser than anyone else.
But I couldn't help wondering, if he always helped others without a word of complaint, who would help him
If he could listen, help or support them, then couldn't they do the same for him? Unfortunately, things didn't work out that way. They just took advantage of his kindness and selflessness. They never once stopped to think about how selfish and greedy they were being. But I suppose I'm no different from them…
I forced things on him. My problems, my doubts. My hopes and dreams. I never really stopped to think that maybe I should try standing on my own. Instead of always running to him, I should have tried to do things on my own. And yet I couldn't…
I was afraid of failing.
I wanted to be strong. I wanted to be confident. I wanted to be like him. Cool, calm, rational, practical and logical in all that he did. He never was the type to be ruled by his emotions.
Eventually, I ended up telling Trowa why I seemed to cling to him in the way that I did. Aside from the Magunacs, he was the first person to truly understand me. He also cared a great deal about me, something that was made quite clear to me, when he tried to sacrifice himself to save me all those years ago. After that particular incident, I finally realized why he was so important to me.
He was my best friend.
When I finally told him as much, he laughed at me! I failed to see the humor in the situation, but he merely told me that I was fine the way I was. He told me that I didn't need to change for anyone except myself.
After that day, I finally began to like myself just a little more. I could just be myself around Trowa and not have to worry about being criticized or judged. He accepted me for who I truly was. In his eyes, I wasn't simply the next Winner heir or a fellow gundam pilot.
To him, I was just Quatre.
As the years went by, however, he slowly began to trust me more. Rather than me always seeking him out, he was starting to come to me on his own. He still had a hard time interacting with other people besides myself, Catherine, or one of the others, but he was learning to live again. It wasn't as if I, or anyone, expected him to learn all he needed to know overnight.
He had been hurt, wounded and betrayed in every way possible. He hadn't had the luxury of having a family or friends. He grew up so isolated from everyone. So alone. In order for him to survive, it was an issue of survival of the fittest. Had he been weak, he would have never made it this far.
He could have easily given up but he chose to live. Maybe he had been waiting for someone too. Maybe he had been waiting for someone to come along and show him what it meant to trust, care and love again.
In the end, I'm glad I didn't give up on Trowa. I wouldn't be the person I am today if it hadn't been for him. Though I relied on him heavily, I realized that he needed me just as much as I needed him. I might have helped him regain his heart, but he helped me become a better person.
He helped me gain more confidence and he helped restore my self esteem. If it hadn't been for him, I wouldn't be nearly as whole or satisfied as I am now. Because of him, I managed to learn to appreciate what I have and to not take it for granted. The most important thing I learned from Trowa, however, was to always believe in yourself no matter what.
After all, you had no way of knowing who might be counting on you.