Sometimes L and Light are just Retards

by Dr Yu Minoru

well light wanted lunch. then they went to town. after a trail of unfortunate events they find themselves dead, then dead again, then something random, then alive. oh and a scorned prostitute remembers them, and light sees his exwife, but a little before that they get genderbended, and 'do' voldemorts brains out anyway just read it, you'll feel better

1. Chapter 1

Death Note- sometimes l and light are just retards

Disclaimer: I hearby do not own death note or its characters, the wild thornberries, harry potter, little nicky, Dr parnassus's imaginarium or any songs in the story

Light: hey L I wanna eat some lunch with you right now. But make sure u don't give me AIDS

L: awwwww but I wanted a semen sandwhich...

Nananananan fruit salad! Yummy Yummy! L and Light wore their favourite sea cucumber outfits for that song

L: I love pineapples

Light: yeah how much?

L: IMMA GONNA GO ARSERAPE ONE GOKKUOMGGUBASTAD

Light: nooooooooooooo dr pineapple!

L and Light proceded to go buy some ice cream and held hands as they walked in a circle around Pedobear. Pedobear got pissed and nearly arse-in-your-eye raped them both at once so they ran away to an all-u-can-eat buffet but got thrown out after Light started masturbating on a tablecloth so they had to go somewhere else and do something so while wearing their favourite tailored suits, except L was just Naked, they went to a nearby cafe where Light started talking in a gay accent and had his face covered in makeup, shit and his nails painted purple

Light: so then, Matsuda was like, OMG U BASTAD y u no invite me over to teh house anymore for massive orgys?! And I was like, um excuse me Matsuda, u r a pig. So then he like started holding my hands over my head and started humping me but I just pulled a dildo out of my ass and shoved it up his cock in the slit, and it split all over my face. Ugh it was horrible

L: I see, you no, Matsuda did something like that to me the other day too

All the other people in the cafe were horrified but had to keep listening they had all pictured Matsuda's dick splitting and some random douche bag had decided to try it on himself

L: light I just realised something

L said as he pulled a turnip out of his penis and threw it at the douche bag

Light: what L?

Light said as he pulled a porcupine out of L's armpit and shoved it up his dick (for later use ^^)

L: we just got gender-bended!

WoooOOOOOOooooooooooooOOOOOO OOOOOooOOOOOOOOOOoOooooooooo ooo