This is something that hit me while jumping on the trampoline. No reason for it. It just hit me.
I was playing my Pokemon White version. I'm doing a nuzlocke on it (hard mode for Pokemon, only catch first Pokemon encountered in each new area, fainting is death, nickname your Pokemon) but instead of them being Pokemon, I have a gijinka version going on in my head. There are no humans. Everyone is a gijinka Pokemon. That means no trainers, just groups of Pokemon journeying around to challenge the Unova League.
In my game, I started out with an Oshawott named Danny. He is currently joined by Monica the Lillipup, Isabelle the Patrat, and Xavier the Pansear. His rivals are a Snivy and a Tepig (both currently unnamed). They only just challenged the Striaton City Gym, defeating the first gym trainer (Xavier nearly died but he lived by 2HP, thank God).
Anyhow, I was randomly thinking of what gijinka Pokemon that Clyde, the dude in the Gyms who gives you the Fresh Waters, would be. I thought of Audino since they're the region's healing Pokemon and Fresh Waters heal you. I got to thinking of Clyde with Audino ears and a fluffy Audino tail…when my gijinka Oshawott pounced on him in my head and called Clyde cute. That led to plenty of embarrassing situations in my head about them until I unintentionally created a crack pairing between the two.
Gijinka Audino!Clyde x gijinka!protagonist, anyone?
Anyhow, here is a random collection of short ficlets for my newfound crack pairing. If anyone has idea suggestions, go ahead and voice them. If I keep interested in this long enough, I might toss in a few themes from the many 100 sentences challenges I find here on the Internet.
WARNING! THIS CONTAINS YAOI, A.K.A. BOY ON BOY ROMANCE! IF YOU DO NOT LIKE OR APPROVE OF THIS, TURN BACK NOW! THIS IS YOUR FIRST (probably not last, though) WARNING!
Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon. I do not own Clyde. I do not own the concept of gijinka Pokemon. I do not own the idea of the nuzlocke challenge. I'm merely using them for my own sick and twisted amusement. Enjoy.
Pokemon: Gijinka Nuzlocke Crack
Chapter 1: Love (?) At First Sight
It was just another day in Striaton City for Clyde. His day had started out as it usually did—wake up, get dressed, drink coffee, grab his briefcase full of Fresh Waters, and head to the gym. He managed to chat up the cute nurse at the Medical Center. A majority of his day, unfortunately, had been spent sitting at an empty table by the front doors of the gym, briefcase open, silently awaiting the arrival of challengers.
At least the Gym Leaders were nice. The trio of gijinka monkeys had cooked up a series of delicious meals for him since he had arrived early last week. Until a promising League challenger showed up, Clyde would be stuck in Striaton.
Leaning back in his seat, he tilted his dark sunglasses down a touch in order to view the front doors better. He didn't really need them. They just hid his girly-looking baby blues from possible distractions. With his job, he couldn't afford to be distracted.
Shrugging off his tan suit jacket, Clyde sat straight again and folded his hands in front of himself. So far, only two kids had challenged the gym and they had been on the same team. It had been a determined-looking Snivy boy with an air of arrogance about him, a smug Purrloin boy following after him. The brats hadn't even looked at him, simply snatching the Fresh Water from his hand before proceeding to solve the gym puzzle, which was simply a trio of curtains with symbols on them and three buttons on the floor in front of each curtain with the symbols for fire, water, and grass on them. Pick the button symbol that defeats the curtain symbol and you can move on. So simple, a toddler could do it.
All those Nuvema brats are the same, Clyde thought, tilting his head back as he drank his soda. They're either too arrogant, too much of a dreamer, or too ditzy for their own good. Not champion material. Send me one from Castelia or Nimbasa any day of the week. Just not another Nuvema…
Despite his thoughts, the Audino gijinka knew that Nuvema Town had a history of popping up miracle champions. The last one has been nearly thirty years ago, though. A drop-dead gorgeous Samurott with a silver tongue, he'd heard. No idea where she went after defeating the League Champion. Clyde almost wished he knew.
His pink and cream ears twitched, registering the sound of footsteps outside. Four sets, if he was right. Two sounded uncertain, one was a tad sluggish…
It was the last one that caught his attention. The steps alone sounded confident and full of energy. Definitely optimistic. Whoever this was, they weren't afraid of what the world threw at them. They were ready for anything.
Could this be…? Clyde placed his soda on the table and straightened, hand already grasping a Fresh Water.
The restaurant door promptly swung open and four kids entered. One of them was a serious, if slightly sleepy-looking, Pansear boy. Scampering beside him, sticking close together in nervousness, was a Patrat girl and a Lillipup girl. None of them caught his eyes, however.
It was the boy up front, with the short white hair and the blue otter ears. Brown eyes that sparkled with wonder. A huge grin that ate up at least half of his face. A wagging dark-colored paddle-shaped tail. The shell-shaped scalchop attached to a thin chain around his neck, the scratches on it proving how much it was used.
Clyde felt his anticipation die a touch. It was an Oshawott boy, obviously a Nuvema resident. The other three were likely his teammates. They all looked strong but looks meant nothing when it came to fighting. They'd have to prove their worth on the field…or in this case, the gym.
Getting up out of his chair, he approached the four younger gijinka. "Hello there. Welcome to Striaton City Gym," he greeted, using the same words he had spoken thousands of times before since he got this job. "My name is Clyde, a representative of the Unova League on the look-out for potential champions-in-the-making. As a token of our appreciation for undergoing the difficult task of traveling to this gym, take this Fresh Water. Should you choose to continue your journey toward the league, you will find either I or one of my associates at the start of each gym. We wish you the best of luck in your challenge of this gym."
The Lillipup girl accepted the Fresh Water without hesitation, saying a quiet thanks in exchange. Clyde merely nodded, not paying her much attention. His focus was entirely on the Oshawott boy. Curiosity nagged at him, demanding a name to fix to the kid's face.
"And you are…?" the Audino gijinka finally asked.
"Danny! The name's Danny!" the boy finally replied. "Oh, and these are my friends! This is Monica! I met her on Route 1 way back near Nuvema, my hometown! And this is Isabelle! I met her just outside the city! And that's Xavier! I found him napping at the Dreamyard, so I asked him to join us and he said okay, so here he is! You should've seen him kick that dumb ol' Snivy's butt earlier! It was awesome!"
"Uh-huh," Clyde simply nodded, not even listening. He didn't really care. His champion-seeking instincts were going haywire on this kid and now he had a name. Danny… Unova League Champion Danny, found by league representative Clyde… Yeah, that has a nice ring to it.
His happy thoughts were brought to an end when the curled antennae attached to his ears were roughly yanked, snapping him back to reality with a pained yelp. He was shocked to discover that it was Danny yanking them, curiosity shining in those suddenly-far-too-close brown eyes of his. Clyde leaned back to get away, only for Danny to lean forward to keep up with him.
"Wow! What are these for? I've never seen a gijinka like you before, mister Clyde!" Danny cried.
"Danny, let him go! I think you're hurting him!" the Lillipup girl exclaimed, stepping forward to try and pry her friend's hands off of the older man's ears.
"Ow! Ow! OW! Stop! You're hurting me more!" Clyde yelped, roughly shoved her away. "Ow! Let go! That hurts, Danny!"
"It hurts? How?" Danny asked, loosening his grip but not letting go.
"Those are attached to my ears, which are attached to my head, which is attached to my body." Clyde explained amidst his pained whimpers and twitches. "My body feels pain. My head feels pain. My ears feel pain. And these—" He indicated the antennae. "—feel pain too. I'd appreciate it a lot if you let go of them. Please, Danny?"
"…Okay." Danny said after a moment.
Clyde gasped aloud in relief when his antennae were released, reaching up to rub them comfortingly. The pain quickly receded, leaving a touch of numbness behind. At least they weren't being yanked anymore.
"Hey, mister Clyde!"
The Audino gijinka jumped, snapping his attention back to the Oshawott boy. "What?" he yelped fearfully, taking a step back to protect his sensitive ears.
Danny smiled, holding up the Fresh Water. "Thanks for the water!"
"…Oh. No problem…?" Clyde replied, not used to being thanked for his job.
The Oshawott boy grinned happily, walking by the older man in order to approach the first curtain that marked the start of the gym puzzle. His companions followed after him, flashing apologetic smiles at Clyde. He shrugged them off nonchalantly, the incident mostly forgotten. He was already returning to his table, intent on finishing his soda and expectantly awaiting the final Nuvema brat to arrive. He'd seen a Snivy and now an Oshawott, so a Tepig shouldn't be too far behind. Right?
Clyde glanced at Danny out of the corner of his eye. Well, my senses are still going nuts. Maybe this is the champion-in-the-making that I've been waiting for. He definitely seems like a good kid. Better than that Snivy boy, at any rate.
Swallowing down the last of his soda, he folded his hands back in front of him again. Aside from the antennae pulling incident, he's got a good heart. His friends don't seem that bad either. Not as shady as that Purrloin boy from earlier. Danny will need all the help he can get if he does have the makings of a champion in him.
THU-THUMP!
Clyde froze. Was it just him or did his heart suddenly start beating louder than before? No, it had to be just him. But then…why did he suddenly feel hotter? No, it wasn't him. It was his face! He was burning up! Did he have a fever?
No, Clyde! Relax! It's just excitement! You've finally found what you've been looking for—a potential champion! All you have to do is stick around and support him. Make sure he gets to the top. When he does, step up and claim responsibility for finding him. You're fine, just overexcited! Relax!
Clyde reached up to rub his antennae again. He felt a lump in his throat. He was sweating a lot and his face was heating up. Was he blushing? Over what? There were no cute girls here to…
Oh Arceus, no…
His hands froze over his antennae. Audino antennae were extremely sensitive to sound, that much was common knowledge. What others didn't know was that touch was also a sensitive thing with Audino antennae. Only close friends, family, or even lovers would touch an Audino's antennae without permission. The type of touch brought about different reactions.
Yanking was usually done when Audino were young and didn't understand what the antennae were for. It was also done to get attention from family or friends, though it was advised that this was to be avoided. When lovers did it, however…
Clyde's face turned bright red. Knock it off, Clyde! Get your head out of the gutter! You're twenty-seven years old, Arceus damn it! He's a thirteen-year-old boy! It was accidental! It's not like he's the first to grab your antennae, anyway! He probably won't even be the last! I bet he doesn't even know what it can do to you!
Shaking his head to clear the thoughts out, he shifted his attention back to the front door. It was devoid of life. He could hear feet shuffling in front of the curtain behind him. How long had it been since Danny got there?
"What the heck? How does this stupid thing work?" Danny suddenly cried. "I stepped on the same button as the curtain but nothing's happening! It's broke!"
Clyde proceeded to take a deep breath…and slam his head onto the table. This is my ticket to recognition? Kill me now, Arceus, please…
Still… Clyde's blush had yet to go away. Maybe it's not such a bad thing?
"Is anyone gonna come fix this?" Danny shouted from somewhere behind him.
Oh, who am I kidding? Clyde groaned miserably.